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Name: Louise
[ Original Post ]
I am happily engaged to a wonderful man. I am divorced and have a 2 1/2 year old from my previous marriage. He is also divorced and has a 3 year old with his ex. My problem is that no matter what I do, she has to out-do me. She told him when they first split up that she wanted to have a civil relationship with whomever he wound up with. Well gratefully, him and I found each other. We have an amazing relationship but the thought of this spiteful woman makes me sick. For example, I was at his mothers house working out, she showed up to drop their child off with her to babysit for the day. She saw my car in the driveway and apparently immediately thought that I was there to take the child home with me. She poked her head in the door and stated that she was just going to take him with her. She's a waitress. She was going to take him to work with her because she thought I was going to take him to his fathers house with me??? No one ever even hinted that this was going to happen. She threw a fit on my soon to be in-laws porch, telling me that I was NOT his mom and she should just put him in daycare because I couldn't pull him out of that. I have had this child with me without his father on one occasion, when both of his parents were at work and I took him and my daughter to my parents farm to see the animals. Apparently it is this visit that she holds against me because he went home talking about how much fun he had. Anyway..back to the confrontation. She felt she needed to explain to me that when his dad is at work, I don't count, I am not his parent. She was bawling while holding her son which of course got him upset. Her embarassing me so badly in front of my future mother in law had me crying which made my daughter upset... just a chain reaction. She is obviously very overprotective regarding another female taking care of their son.
I don't understand why she is so afraid of me taking care of him. I am an RN. I have my BSN in nursing and work in a level III Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. Is she just intimidated? (She flunked out of 2 different nursing schools)I would really like to have a relationship with her that involves letting me watch him when both of his parents are working. How do I get there? Any suggestions? I love this boy and her attitude makes it difficult for me to get too attached to him. Im stuck.I don't know what to do. I have asked her if we need to talk about something and she just flat said no. Please give me some tips.
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