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Name: rush

[ Original Post ]

I will try to be very brief. My husband and I have been married 3 months. He has one prior marriage (she left because she was not happy.) They have an 11 year old son with serious behavior problems. My husband has had a restraining order in effect since the break up. She would call his cell phone anywhere from 2-19 times per day to tell him how worthless he is. He has paid child support from day one and now pays spousal support. My problem is, she is still calling him and uses their son as the reason and there is never a resolution.He always ends up hanging up on her because she starts name calling. I have tried to contact her through my space and let her know that she can call me anytime if she has concerns about her son when he is at my house on weekend visitation. She replied :"do not contatct me again." (this was a few months ago. ) My husband does not know what to do and I want to help but she only calls me horrible names when she talks to my husband. He says he does not want to talk to her but, he answers the phone every time she calls. I remind him about the restraining order and he says it sound like I don't want him to be involved in his sons life. This is totally ridiculous. I have no idea what to do if anything. Any advise/ ↓

Name: ann | Date: Jul 24th, 2008 8:46 PM

HMMM....I am on both sides of this....I will be 100% honest. Are u sure you are not jealous because they have a history? The reason I ask is because I use to tell my ex (see I don't even like the words MY ex put together because if feels like some kind of UCK "ownership" to him still) Any ways...I use to tell him everything about our kids but he has a really bad temper and made a lot of stupid choices lately so that is over with. But just because I called him did not mean I "wanted him" it meant I really just wanted him to be a DAD!!!!! But the reason I understand is because when my husband talks to his EX I worry what they are talking about...my hearing ability increases 100% so I can hear what kind of junk she is saying. But that is just my insecurity. I know he loved her and it still hurts me after 7 yrs...and he is such a wonderful man the fear of loosing him is sooo difficult. Let him be a dad to his kid and don't worry about what she does!
When he is tired of it he will let her know real quick! ↑

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Name: rush | Date: Jul 25th, 2008 3:43 PM

Ann, thank you for your response. I may be jealous because of the history. I too was married once before, my first husband passed away 3 years ago. We were together for 24 years and have 2 children (24 years old and 14 years old.) I guess I would not be so upset if he would talk to her in my presence (he never does.) if she calls when I am around, he will not answer the phone but, call her back when he is alone. I would say that I am not a very trusting person or suspicious more that jealous( but also a bit jealous.) He is constantly complaining about her calling him and he does not want me to try and talk to her at all. Sometimes I wonder if I should be concerned? ↑

Name: ann | Date: Jul 30th, 2008 9:33 PM

As long as the conversation is about the children or general BS you have NOTHING to worry about. If she is trying to get him back or come on to him (like my ex does me---or did until a restraining order!!LOL) then I would worry. I have no desire to be with my ex but I use to treat him with respect as if we resided in the same house...what would I tell him about the kids kind of thing. But in the last month he has done so much I REFUSE to speak to him. He can only email me!! And I must say LIFE IS GOOD. My husband very seldom talks to his ex and I see what she does but I know where my husbands heart is!! Sometimes it is easy to get jealous over nothing. Keep your chin up! ↑

Name: #1StepMom | Date: Jun 4th, 2009 2:36 AM

ann - i think you are wrong. she isn't jealous about ANYTHING. she justs wants there to be a happy solution and the for all the immature games to stop - which all ex wives play - you probably played them, too. the ex wife in this situation is HORRIBLE and you can't reason with people like that - maybe you should go back to court...and get custody so that your husband can make the right choices for the child - since she doesn't want to talk sensibly to anyone. ↑