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I am getting married at the end of the year and I am having a difficult time dealing with the nastiness of my fiance's ex. My fiance has a 5 year old son with his ex. We currently live together but she does not know that. My fiance is afraid that she will prevent him from seeing his son if she finds out. She is angry because I slept with him while they were married. I did not know that they were married. He did not tell me about his relationship with her until a year after we began seeing each other. He had already begun divorce proceedings. Does she have reason to be angry? Of course! I, however, love my fiance and I want to get married to him. He had a very difficult time with her before I came into the picture. But she maintains that I am the reason for their divorce. I resent the fact that I am carrying the blame for something that I had no knowledge of. I think that my fiance should explain to her that I had nothing to do with their problems and that it was his fault! I don't think that I can deal with this situation in the long term. HELP!!! ↓
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| Name: patty | Date: Aug 2nd, 2007 8:09 PM |
| Maybe all of this situation is a matter of opinion, his, hers and yours. Maybe the X was honestly trying to work it out and get back on track and thinks that if you had not come along they would be happy. He probably won't take responsibility for his actions because they usually don't. The X could stop the fathers visitation if she finds out that he is cohabitating depends on what the papers or the judge says. As far as the X is concerned she isn't going anywhere so get used to the abuse. BM's are really good at abusing the SM. ↑ |
| Name: cinner29 | Date: Aug 3rd, 2007 3:45 PM |
| first....she should know that you are living together and planning to get married........she is the mother of his child, and she deserves to understand where her child will be spending his time when he is with you...........ok !!! ↑ |
| Name: Reyjo | Date: Aug 3rd, 2007 4:38 PM |
| Name: Kara | Date: Aug 21st, 2007 12:18 AM |
| I am in the middle of a divorce because my husband cheated on me. I blame him because he was the one that was married, but I blame her because she knew, and as a human being I would never do that to someone else. She went to prison for a few months earlier this year and he cheated on her, repeatedly. I warn you that most men who cheat once will keep doing it. If he risked his family life for you, what is to keep him from cheating on you? ↑ |
| Name: patty | Date: Aug 22nd, 2007 9:57 AM |
| Most people that cheat are repeat offenders. If he did it to her he will certainly do it to you. ↑ |
| Name: duchess | Date: Aug 23rd, 2007 1:46 AM |
| Hi, Don't beat yourself up. YOU did nothing wrong. The blame, if any, sits firmly on your fiance shoulders. Again, you were not the problem, you were a symptom of a bigger problem. Depending on the state, which you should be able to google the state and the divorce laws for that state, his ex cannot keep the child away from the parent. She has to blame someone, so it is you. She wouldnt be making so much trouble if she was finished with the relationship. I think when you are finished and ready to let go you move on. You dont worry about who your ex is with etc. And it doesnt sound like she used adultery in the suit. People have affairs for all sorts of reasons. And using the other woman as the blame is not only stupid, it is untrue. If you love him, stick it out. All relationships have issues, yours for now is the ex. Hang in there and good luck! ↑ |
| Name: duchess | Date: Aug 23rd, 2007 1:52 AM |
| And by the way, no one knows what he or she will do in a situation until it happens. So trust yourself, not others. ↑ |
| Name: summer_rea | Date: Sep 5th, 2007 2:28 PM |
| I do not agree that if someone cheats they will cheat again. I myself have learned from my mistakes and I believe men are capable of learning from it too. everytime a relationship ends you should take the leassons both you and him learned from it, except the fact that both of you have faults.. ↑ |
| Name: autumn_leaves | Date: Oct 11th, 2007 5:29 PM |
| You want to marry a man who was running around on his wife? If you do that, u deserve what u get. I'm sorry, not trying to be mean to you, but if he'll do that to her, he'll do it to you, NO DOUBT. Just because he was 'unhappy' didn't give him the right to cheat, he should have been man enough to get a divorce first. Also, he is "scared" to let her know u are living together?? That's not a legitimate reason for keeping the child away, and his court order for visitation will enforce that. He cheated with you and now won't speak up and say u are living together?? I smell a rat. ↑ |
| Name: brenda71 | Date: Oct 12th, 2007 1:41 AM |
| i hope you dont expect the child to like you ↑ |
| Name: daisy255 | Date: Oct 26th, 2007 6:54 PM |
I totally agree with you. I swear men are so dumb. They create problems in their new relationship by catering to their ex.
Making sure not to upset the ex. Tell your finance to get his baggage taken care of because you want to marry him and not his baggage. ↑ |
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