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Name: shadowbaby
[ Original Post ]
Here's a brief rundown of my situation.......got married at 18, had my beautiful daughter when i was 21, seperated from her father when i was 24 (he was a chronic cheater and wanted us to be swingers), divorce was final when i was 27, remarried to a WONDERFUL man when i was 28. Her father and i have joint custody but I am the primary caregiver. I live in NC and he lives in SC. For the last few years he has had her every other weekend, we meet halfway. Its four hours round trip. During the summer he has her two weeks to every one week that I have her.
Anyway, here is my problem........although i'm sure he loves our daughter, he does not provide a stable life for her. I don't think so, anyway. He just got fired from his job for inappropriate conduct toward a female co-worker. He says he didn't do anything wrong, but I don't believe him. He has been basically a sex addict as long as I have known him. Now, I don't think he would ever do anything to his child, but I know he likes to have sex with as many women as he can. Maybe he has changed, I don't know, but that is how it was when I was married to him. And my other issue is that there hasn 't been a stable home environment since we were divorced. What I mean by that is, they have moved several times, usually there is somebody living with him and his wife, might be a family member, might not be, they might be living with somebody, or most recently they were living in a hotel. His most recent brilliant idea was to join the Navy. Now, keep in mind that this man is 33 years old. Well, that didn't work out.....they found out that he depends on medication to keep his anxiety attacks under control. He just got back home yesterday and he expects to have our daughter this weekend.
I think I have just about reached my breaking point.....i'm tired of letting my daughter go down there into who knows what kind of situation. I know that no one else can tell me what to do............but I just want some advice.
I am by no means perfect.........but I have a great job, have been there for 3 years, have my own home...nobody lives here except me and my husband and my daughter. I know her daddy loves her, but I feel like I should keep her here with me until he gets his life straightened out. I have no problem with him coming here to visit here, but I don't want her going there. Am i wrong?? Am i mean?? Am i a bitch? Becuase I know that is what her dad is going to think.
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Name: shadowbaby | Date: Apr 18th, 2007 9:26 PM
Oooh, also, I don't get any child support and I have been thinking about going back to court so that I can get it. 

Name: pattyl | Date: Apr 18th, 2007 9:45 PM
Its your job to protect your children. I would have to think about it before I let her go into an environment that I am not sure is safe. As far as the chld support is concerned go for it. Its the child that suffers the most when they dont' get the money. Maybe not in your case because it sounds like you are doing okay financially, but in most cases. 

Name: Lizzi | Date: Apr 19th, 2007 3:09 PM
What does your daughter say about her visits with her dad? Does she want to go with him or does she prefer staying with you?
I would hope to god he would NEVER touch her inappropriately!!!!
I'm with you though on the situation at hand. Until he is in a stable home your daughter doesn't need to be holed up in a motel room with him when she's got a perfectly good home staying right there with you. It isn't fair to her to be subjected to that kind of change. She also shouldn't have to bounce around from home to home with her dad. If you ask me he sounds unfit to be parenting her at all!
Go fight for your girl! :)
I bet if you took these issues to court they would easily side with you so long as you allowed her dad to come visit his daughter at your place. 

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