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Name: Stephanie
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Name: chell | Date: Aug 13th, 2011 5:30 AM
My opinion is to follow your gut.Always remember that the grass is not greener onj on on the other side and it will be hard if you do do decide to leave. Remeber this will be a man that you are putting out in the worlkd for other women to try and love and he will have a chip on his shoulder.He will be bitter and think that all women are out to hurt him and that will be all your fault for leaving a good man because you want more than what he has to give.He will be fine sooner or later and so will you. You have to make yourself happy for others to be happy. Misery loves company so quit making yourself and him miserable. Best of luck 

Name: Mae | Date: Aug 25th, 2011 4:33 AM
My daughter who is 21 just got married and I had no idea. What can I do to get these you people to get a divorce? What else can I do? Both have limited intelligence. 

Name: Already Gone | Date: Aug 28th, 2011 3:08 AM
So glad to find this discussion - feel same and have since we were married [5 years. I went back to work to build a freedom fund. Kids are grown, their opinions are important but I will do what I want to. I have given all I have emotionally and financially. Love them (and him) but my gut tells me I need to be free.....always has. Time to stop the masquerade. 

Name: Already Gone | Date: Aug 28th, 2011 3:11 AM
That didn't post correctly....we're married 27 years and I do love my husband.....but not in the right way. Think I got into this for the wrong reasons but never wanted to hurt anyone. I've hurt me, tho. When it's all said and done....that's who you end up with. 

Name: Mouse | Date: Sep 1st, 2011 12:47 AM
my husband told me the other day that he wanted to hug a woman at work but told her that if he did his hands would probably end up where they shouldn't...the only reason this bothered me was that he was so upset about it....its been over two years since we've had sex...we don't do the fun things we used to do together....he goes to work and comes home eats dinner and spends the rest of the night either watching tv or playing on his computer....i don't want to be married anymore either....not because of his friend at work...but because i just don't have any feelings for him anymore...just need to tell him now 

Name: vickie | Date: Sep 2nd, 2011 6:14 PM
been married for 24 yrs. husband has an outside kid thats 16yrs old dont no if i wanat to stay married any longer hes lied to all these yrs. just find out a few months ago dont think i can trust him any more please help 


Name: Kathy | Date: Sep 5th, 2011 4:30 PM
If you should make the CHOICE to leave make sure that you have considered everything. EXAMPLE, your financal well being, the new man's baggage, (we all carry baggage, some of have worse than others), does he have children that wil except and respect you? Hope for your sake he is not an alcoholic. Do you love yourself enough that other peoples opinions of you are none of your business? I am right now going through a divorce no papers served yet (NO MONEY) and I have no job currently and living under the same roof as my once loved husband I don't want to be with him, no so easy to get out. YOU NEED TO HAVE YOUR DUCKS IN A ROW. Unforunately we own a house together after the divorce I will be homeless the courts because this house is valued so far below what the actual value is that the court will make us short sale it. That will take a while to happen in the mean time I put up with the most miserable man who attempts everyday to break me. I AM NOT GOING TO BREAK but sometimes I am close to just getting in my car an disapearing. Husband is an alcoholic and has a very mean abusive side to him. Have you ever met a happy drunk? And I ask myself how did I get hear, IT WAS MY CHOICE. 

Name: jackson1 | Date: Sep 6th, 2011 2:03 AM
I too, have been married 10 years, and it started to go downhill about 5 years ago, [sound familiar?] all she wants to do is smoke pot and lay in bed. But,,,,,,,,,,, we have school age children, and they WOULD die of neglect, if I headed out. We SAY we love each other, but its just words. We [like you] have nothing in common, unless I take up pot. 

Name: kathy | Date: Sep 7th, 2011 6:59 PM
Sounds like my marriage. I don't think it will get better its not about him anyway he has found his happiness which comes inside quit looking to fix something that isn't broken and find your happiness 

Name: Bambi | Date: Sep 10th, 2011 12:29 PM
Hello. I hope you all find what you are looking for. Life is short and everyone deserves ti be happy. 

Name: Lucy | Date: Sep 12th, 2011 10:22 AM
I have bee married to a man I grew up with and did not like as a child, that should have told me something right there. His family did not like or respect me and we have been married 44 years. We have 2 grown children and all these years he has cheated and given me 2 std's. I do not love him or his family because they covered for him and on sister let him use her house to cheat. We are both in our sixties and sick, I stay because I have health insurance throught him. I do not love or respect this man. He is a lier and a cheat and we have nothing in common. We can not even talk to one another and enjoy a conversation or go out, because I don' t want to be seen with him. All these years I thought his family loved me as a sister. Now I am playing the waiting game of who dies first. 

Name: 002 | Date: Sep 18th, 2011 5:42 PM
fffffe 

Name: carrie | Date: Sep 24th, 2011 1:25 AM
quit accepting what you dont want. have been doing it for 28 years and have two full grown children and think i am done. 

Name: serena | Date: Sep 25th, 2011 6:09 PM
No, you do have some valid points. He should be spending more time tending to your relationship. As much time as he invests in working, playing with his friends and having fun. If he thinks that all you need is a paycheck and nothing more, he is in for a big surprise. Men think that as long as they are bringing home the big bucks, that's all they need to do. They don't see working on the relationship as a priority as they do say working on their job or friends relationships. You are neglected and that is not hard to understand that you have lost your attraction for him. Men think they only have to give you attention once or twice in your whole life and that should sustain you. Bull crap. You need a friend and a partner and a lover. Otherwise, why be married? 

Name: Tee | Date: Oct 3rd, 2011 2:40 AM
Hey I don't no because I feel the same way I want to leave my huband, but my friends all tell me you have the best husband do what ever for you but I put on a show he is a real crazy if I go out with friends I come home it's take off my underware he want to smell them want me to open my legs he said to see if I was were I say I was he call me all the time and I'm ready to leave I'm sick of it 

Name: david | Date: Oct 6th, 2011 11:34 PM
iv been married for 5 months and i cant stand it 

Name: ailinchen | Date: Oct 8th, 2011 4:13 AM
I am just wondering how do you know that you still love him? How would you define this love? I would say to try to work it out, if you believe that he truely loves you. (You would know better than anyone else) In any marriage, there are always ups and downs, but the strength of the marriage is built on what you do to bring it back up when it's down. 

Name: Renee | Date: Oct 18th, 2011 4:35 PM
Everyday I want to cry cuz my husband has always had control and I have no money to leave 

Name: Lauren M.A.C. | Date: Oct 21st, 2011 8:45 PM
Hi Stepahie. I am so sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time. It sounds to me like you both care enough to try to hold your marriage together, but just can't seem to keep the fire alive. Let me ask you, is there anything keeping you from having the time of your life too? Spouses rarely share every interest in common, and perhaps if you started pursuing things that interest you, you would find friends with whom you share interests, and would not resent your husband for enjoying his interests. Rather, you could both enjoy your time apart, and will both have stories to share when you are together. Since you seem like you both want it to work, I would also suggest speaking to a marriage counselor who may better able to guide you both on how to make your marriage work for both of you. Good luck.

~Lauren
http://www.MommyAdviceColumn.com 

Name: sdkb | Date: Oct 28th, 2011 3:05 PM
hey everybody 

Name: sdkb | Date: Oct 28th, 2011 3:24 PM
I have only been married a few months and I already feel like it was a mistake. I am so stressed out with decisions my husband is making without me. It's like he had a plan on what he wanted before we were even married and I will either like it and go along or be miserable. I sleep in the bed and he sleeps on the couch. He has let me know he has issues being intimate....we have only had sex like 8 times since we have been married. He told me he wanted a child to come live with us on a temporary basis until the childs mother could get her stuff together. I agreed as to not upset him and have gone along with it, but now he has been there like our entire 7 months of being married. He has since gotten attached to the child and the mother doesn't want him back. I told him I didn't want him to stay and he told me too bad. I have asked him to go to marriage counseling with me to work on our specific issues. I go to counseling already. I went to him and earnestly cried and told him that I didn't know if I could last in the marriage if the child continued to live with us because I believe he is using the child and anything else he can come up with to avoid me and the marriage. The child threatened suicide adn wanted to go home to his mother. We took him home but the mother called in a 24hr time period and asked my husband to come get him. I asked my husband not too and to please consider my feelings, he said I needed to consider his feelings. Currently he won't respond to me and hasn't for several days. I've been staying with family. Someone help. I know that men are different. Someone tell me what to say or do. I think I'm loosing my mind and don't want to be married anymore but I don't feel like getting a divorce is the right thing as a christian but I also know that God doesn't want me to live a miserable life. Help. 

Name: jnt | Date: Nov 2nd, 2011 11:51 PM
Stephanie believe me, I feel the same way you feel. I don't want to be married anymore either. My problem is that I can't afford to pay the bills by myself. That is one sad and unfair reason to stay married to someone. You have gotten so many different opinions on this subject. The truth is, we made the decision to get in. We have to make the decision to get out. 

Name: Mrs. Blackman | Date: Nov 11th, 2011 12:00 AM
I have only been married for seven months and now I'm tired. 

Name: Bwb | Date: Nov 11th, 2011 12:03 AM
I want a baby but my husband don't and it's bring our relationship down. 

Name: Arteis | Date: Nov 12th, 2011 6:28 PM
Am so sorry to say i kno how u feel ,neglected. I say seriously try the best you can to make things right in your relationship.Try to find free or affordable marriage counseling.Try to look at not just the relationship but life as a whole through your spouse's eyes.Seek his fascination but not by what he told you in the past but his reactions now.Try to avoid agruments and bringing up past issues as well.Give 100% seriously make this your new project.If this doesnt't work,at least you will kno you gave your best efforts.One last thing is adding a new activity to your schedule,he will definitely notice this...Even if this means going to the store and browsing for a couple of hours a week.Men will always like the thrill of chasing a women lol...Good Luck!!! 

Name: msarteis | Date: Nov 12th, 2011 6:45 PM
Honestly I know exactly how you feel,neglected.If you are seeking advice then subconsciously you really want to work this out.Seriously ,give 100% efforts and if all fails then at least you kno you gave your best.Also try to see not just the relationship but life through your husbands eye's for clarity.I will also suggest free or affordable marriage counseling,believe me it's so worth the investment.Stay strong and Good Luck!!! 

Name: Coach S | Date: Nov 18th, 2011 3:00 AM
i feel the same way 

Name: feelthesame | Date: Nov 23rd, 2011 7:49 PM
To be honest i totally agree with you. I love my husband but i no longer wish to be married to him. We have nothing in common what so ever. We dont even talk unless we are arguing. Its like ugh.........y r we even married. People grow apart. And thats whats happened between him and i. There is absolutely no passion. I hate that.. i would never marry again. 

Name: Noname | Date: Dec 6th, 2011 4:46 AM
I also need some advice.. I got married less than a year ago to one of my friends. We were only friends and I left for the military when I had gone back home to visit on Christmas we hung out and he had this brilliant idea that we should get married and ofcourse I had this crush on him when we were friends but didn't think he would want to be with me. I said yes, I was lonely for the time I was gone I was so far away from friends and family. I was so excited I had liked him for the longest time so we got married then I recieved orders to Germany and he came with me. He totally did a 360 from when I knew him he started to become mean and say really cruel things to me. It just became aweful and I got news that I was getting deployed and my feelig was excitement and I don't miss him like I should, then I realized I made a huge mistake getting married I'm to young he's mean and shuts down my dreams. But since I've been deployed he realized he's been a jerk and says he's changed but I feel as though we didn't get married out of love it was just the thing to do because We had a crush. So should I believe him that's he's changed and go on with this loveless marriage that I only Started less than a year ago or should I just face that we both made a mistake? I don't know what to do.. 

Name: Faye | Date: Dec 12th, 2011 12:23 AM
I know exactly how you feel. I have been married for 18 years. We have children. I have not been in love with my husband for at least 15 of those years. He bacame verbally abusive a few years after we were married. I have no job and no life outside of my home life. He has kept my isolated and away from work or friends all these years. He ignores me most of the time and he works alot. He monitors me to make sure that I don't really yalk to anyone else.He always says that he is trying to protect me from the outside world. I was 18 when we got married. I am stuck. I have no family that coud help me and no friends. I threated to leave him earlier this year. He has changed a little. He doesnt talk so bad to me as often. But my feelings hasn't changed. I am not attracted to him at all. I want out so bad. I stay depressed and miserable. I don't have my own car or any money of my own. I don't know what to do. I would appreciate any suggestions that anyone may have. oh, and he also has a social life. He plays golf and hangs with his friends sometimes. Things that I am not allowed to do. If I say anything about it, he says that I am crazy. I have tried to make things right and change the way I feel. But I just cant. 

Name: Meagan | Date: Dec 13th, 2011 3:53 AM
Oh my gosh! You sound like me! Some things are different but I basically coexist with my husband. We started seeing a counselor and she advised me to do it because when we try to do more than that we are seeking divorce. I feel like almost everything he does now is so different than the behavior of the man I married and he is desperate to be away from me as much as humanly possible. He rarely wants to have sex and he says he is too tired but mostly that I bitch too much. But I bitch and nag because i am unhappy and sexually frustrated and seriously hating myself for wanting to have an affair just for some intimacy. I try to voice this to him but it just angers him and we are back to fighting again. Then we'll reconcile and he'll say he does love me and wants to make it work but he never follows through with any initiative. A trip, a romantic evening, a dinner----anything!!!!! And when I try to make plans he acts annoyed because deep down he really wants to avoid me, Stuck! Trapped! We have 2 small children and i stick around for them and for the hope that he will some day snap out of this alternate person and go back to the man i fell in love with and I can lighten up and finally have stability and relax but how long should i wait? Should i seek intimacy outside of marriage just to passify myself and atleast we could get along better while coexisting and I wont stay angry at him?? 

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