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Name: stepmom13
[ Original Post ]
My H and I have been married for 6 years. We lived together for 4 years before we were married. I have 2 adult children and he has a son 13- I found out 2 years ago that my H (then BF) had an affair with his ex wife before we were married.

I remember the time exactly because there was something in the pit of my stomach that told me somthing was wrong. We talked about it several times, we nearly split up because he was so distant from me. We worked things out and went along our merry way.

Then I find out (from the ex of all things and H admitted to it) about the affair. H said he was trying to decide if he should get back with her or not, as he never wanted his son to be from a split home. He said he then realized what type of person she was (again) and decided that he really loved me and wanted our life to be together. I trusted him completely before and now I have a real hard time with trust, especially when it comes to her. She will not leave him alone. She calls H's cell phone constantly. 5-6 times a week. She is on her 7th husband (and this one is about to go by-by soon) and she is forever chasing after mine. H and I have talked about this-many, many times. He says he wants nothing to do with her. He is happy with me and loves me and our family. But she will not stop calling. She called him just this morning at 6:00 am-- what the heck could she want at six in the morning. My step son is 13 and lives with us fulltime, because of all the stuff that his mom has done.

I don't know what to do--- that funny feeling is in the pit of my stomach again. We can't change the cell # as we own our own business and this is the contact phone. I really doubt that he is fooling around, because he is so busy with our business and people are with him all the time. But why won't he make her stop calling? I don't know what to do anymore.
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Name: pj754 | Date: Jul 19th, 2006 1:37 PM
You need to tell your husband to screen his calls on his cell. When she calls, don't answer and have it go directly to voice mail. Then, have him save the messages, so the both of you can hear it. If he loves you like he says he does, then he shouldn't have a problem of screening the calls for you both to listen together. Granted, I'm sure she calls to speak with their son, however, she can call on the home phone to talk to him. If your husband wants to regain your trust in him, he should be willing to comply. I wouldn't think he fooling around again either. The ex is trying very hard to make him come back to her or screw your relationship up. Not only that, if she's married, then why doesn't her husband question her calling so often?\. He is not obligated to speak to her unless it pertains to the boy. Since, he lives with you full time, you two would be making the calls to her. Maybe you have already tried this. But, if I was him, I just wouldn't answer the phone. Keep us posted. 

Name: moshecathy | Date: Jul 20th, 2006 2:16 AM
I was in a situation where my husband's ex was so dillusional about everything and really believed that there was still something going on with them. She would even call me and tell me about things that were way exagerated. She has a child with my hubby so if my hubby calls and akes her ... "How is it going? Is everything ok?" She would call me and tell me how my hubby called to make sure that she is doing well and toask her what she's going through ... this went on for months until my hubby finally witnessed it on his own. He then called his ex infront of me and told her "You are ruining my life. I am now married and I love my wife very very much. Please do not call me anymore regardless of the reason because from this moment on, I do not want to hear from you or talk to you or communicate with you in any for or way." She never called us again. It just takes for your man to stand up and tell her to stop infront of her face. Ofcourse the fact that your'e right there when he does it extremely helos with the gut feeling! 

Name: Serina S | Date: Aug 23rd, 2006 12:50 PM
You can put a blok on the phone so you will not let her cal from her phone.
How are things now??? 

Name: Dana | Date: Aug 28th, 2006 8:50 PM
If the ex has a child in common....then she will be around FOREVER...so get used to it. She isn't going anywhere...anytime 2 people have a kid(s) they shouldn't be broken up in the first place. That is why it's so much drama...you women need to stop and think...when you are with a man who has children...you will always be wondering and insecure.

Baby Moma's Rule! 

Name: Serina S | Date: Aug 29th, 2006 8:25 PM
AZll Babys Moms do not rule! It is one thing to call about the kids but only in an emergency should anyone call at 6 am! Just plain wrong!!! No one needs to call that much she needs to get over him She is NOT married to him anymore FOR a reason!
No one is saying she should go way BUT... To call so much and make a PEST of her self shopuld not be tollerated at all!
How do you know they should not have broken up in the frist place were you their!?
I can cause more harm them ggood when a relation ship is bad esp. fopr the children! They get a wrong idea of hoiw a relationship should be.The ex was so bad her own son does not want to live with her.GET REAL!!!
Man this crap pisses me off! 

Name: Lizzi | Date: Aug 30th, 2006 2:51 PM
If you have full custody of your step son then you and your husband need to get a restraining order against her that says she cannot come near your home,place of business,or make any phone calls to your home or place of business. And once that's taken care of then if she still calls,document it and turn her in for violation of the resraining order.But your husband could put an end to it too (IF he wanted to). He could tell her off and then stop answering her calls altogether. I mean if the boy lives with you full time,what could she possibly have to talk about 6 times a week? I'd nip it in the bud. You need to stand up to your husband and make him stand up to her! If he quits answering her calls then eventually she will stop calling. Every time he answers to her that gives her a reason to call again,and again,because he is giving her what she wants which is his attention,plus she knows it gets to you. Don't put up with it. 


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