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Name: Amy
[ Original Post ]
We have a 5 yr old and a 3 month old. my husband just told me he hasn't loved me for over 3 years. It just so happened that his confession follows his new boss being newly single. I still love him, what can I do?
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Name: claire | Date: Nov 13th, 2005 7:17 PM
keep your chin up and be strong for your children, because in past experience you tend to take your anger out on them. i no it is hard but what goes around comes around and you will have the last laugh if you need to chat more email me [email protected] take care and be strong 

Name: J | Date: Dec 1st, 2005 4:19 PM
Treat yourself kindly. Focus on your strenghts and your kids. don't give him all the power, you know what I mean.
Let him go if he has to. keep things honest and share your feelings. 

Name: nr | Date: Jan 10th, 2006 6:27 PM
Hi, My husband told me the same thing about 2 months ago...we have a 3 month old baby girl. I know how you feel. My husband also said that he has not loved me for a while, even before our daughter was conceived. I asked why did he stick around then....he said because he hoped things would get better. I hate to say this, but I feel yours and my husband were never true partners to begin with. Dont be fooled he misses you, as my husband misses me, BUT they are both not family men. I still love my husband but I do not respect him for what has happened, and for that I can not even think about going back to him. I have told him that I still care and love him, and kick myself as this boosts his ego....however, after trying once to reunite without success, I have not tried again, and feel empowered. try to stay strong...your two little ones need that...email me back if you need to chat some more 

Name: seperated mom | Date: Jan 17th, 2006 2:39 AM
You will be the one with the goods, and the kids. He will realize later on that he has nothing of value left in his life, and he will be begging you back. trust me. Let him come crawling to you. Otherwise, he will never open his eyes to what matters in life. Leave, and say SEE YA! Do it with confidence, and he will learn to respect you Men find confidence and assertiveness in a woman to be appealing. Stand up for yourself, and move on. Soon, he'll be dragging at your coattails begging you to take him back. 

Name: terri | Date: Jan 25th, 2006 10:53 PM
I really feel for you, you must be heartbroken! Dont let him treat you like a doormat though,I know u still love him,but if hes told you that, as hard as it is, move on and you will eventually find someone who deserves you and treats you the way you deserved to be treated 

Name: gina | Date: Feb 11th, 2006 11:10 PM
hi i am in a simular situation my husband recently told me he loved me but no longer knew if he was in love with me anymore could use someone to talk to [email protected] 

Name: Agnes | Date: Feb 12th, 2006 2:32 AM
At least your husband came out and said it straight out to you. That's so much better than him stringing you along for years. I would say, just give him the divorce he wants and get on with your life. You may still love him, but don't cling, he'll just use that against you and take advantage of the situation. Turn the table...tell him you've been thinking and that you realize you feel the same way and you'll be contacting a good lawyer to work out an amicable settlement. Realizing you don't give a darn may snap his feelings for you back, if not, let him go! 

Name: sharon | Date: Mar 3rd, 2006 10:19 PM
goin through same thing,married 16 years and said he no longer loves me, so angry and bitter i wonder if i can cope with feelings,we have 5 children . 

Name: Stephanie | Date: Mar 10th, 2006 5:52 PM
Let him go...it's obvious he has 'other' plans.
Don't stay with someone who is telling you they don't love you anymore. Tell him he should have told you three years ago...
Be strong, you deserve someone who will love you till the end of time. 

Name: Melissa | Date: Mar 12th, 2006 8:30 AM
You need to move on. 

Name: ida | Date: Mar 28th, 2006 5:05 PM
You are not alone. My husband of 22 years has decided that he doesn't want to be married to me anymore. He has decided that his world in a virtual game 'Second LIfe' is much more important than his real life family. He became distant a few years ago, but I hung on hoping that he would love me again in the future, maybe when our boys had grown up and left home. Right now, we are saying that we want to patch the marriage up and are seeing counsellors. But I am still so very sad. 

Name: helen | Date: Apr 4th, 2006 8:50 PM
same experience, but no children. Some say it's a blessing, but I am too old to start a new relationship AND begin a family. Dealing with the end of a marriage that I was happy in and believed was forever, losing my home and my chance to be a mother--well, it feels bad. It is a little comforting to know that other people are struggling with the pain and shock as well. The question is why don't they just ADMIT that they want someone else!!! 

Name: chris | Date: Apr 5th, 2006 12:22 AM
my husband just moved out..he told me that when he's with me he feels stressed and tense and without me he feels more at peace..i don't believe it but you can't make someone love you no matter how hard you try...and begging only makes you lose you own self respect...i agree with the other people men respect strong women and if he is smart giving him space will only make him realize his mistakes...and if not you'll be better off bevause you will find someone who treats you with respect 

Name: megan | Date: Apr 5th, 2006 2:52 AM
if your husband cant see what hes got then thats his problem, love is a state of mind you will get over it, and eventually he will realise what he lost 

Name: Tracy | Date: Apr 5th, 2006 8:14 AM
Hi...same experience but no kids. My husband told me last night that he doesn't love me anymore - he thinks of me as a sister. I was very happy - now in total shock. Don't know what to do. 

Name: iwillsurvive | Date: Apr 7th, 2006 1:21 AM
And I thought I was the only one dealing with this situation. Husband has gone off the deep end and is throwing his hands up to our marriage and our 17 month old. All I keep doing is shaking my head in disbelief. Would love to chat: [email protected] 

Name: Lolasck | Date: Apr 11th, 2006 7:51 PM
Sma ething happening here. My husband of 14 years just recently told me that he loves me very much, but is no longer in love with me - because we haven't been getting along lately, he wants to be on his own. Although he told my brother that he doesn't know what he wants. He has finally agreed to go to counselling next week. I am trying not to get my hopes up. I feel so alone and devastated. We have a beautiful 2 year old daughter and I feel like I am dying inside. 

Name: lonelyheartsclub | Date: Apr 17th, 2006 10:10 AM
My husband left me and our 2 children aged 11 & 8 in nov05 after 13 & 1/2 years of marriage.I think it is a midlife crisis.Anyway focus all your energy on yourself and your children,cos they are confused too.Make him see that you are better than the person he left you for (cos you are ).Take care 

Name: Lynn | Date: Apr 18th, 2006 7:06 PM
Hi I have been married for 29 years and a few months ago my husband told me he does not feel the same way about me. He wants to try but he is afraid of losing the kids (they are all grown up) he said I was a terrific mother but I never had time for him and now he can't get the feeling back. I don't want to lose him what can I do? 

Name: m | Date: Apr 20th, 2006 4:55 AM
I am so glad that I am not the on;ly one who is feeling rejected. My husband has been tellng me for years that he wants out, but stays for our son, who is 10. As the years go by it seems he reminds me of this more often. When there are times that I feel like I can talk to him about what is going on between us or even talk about an amicable divorce, he turns the situation on me and tells me I am trying to start an argument, but will still not discuss divorce with me. I have not worked since our marriage and although we share control of the money, I'm still not in a position to file myslef. I have no job, and homeschooling our son has put me in a position to where I am basically putting up with it for the security of my son. I am feeling So incredibly lonely right now and trapped. 

Name: lindsey | Date: Apr 21st, 2006 4:11 AM
Hmm...just at work killing time and reading these posts. I am in the same boat ladies. My husband walked out on me about three weeks ago. I am currently living at my parents house with our none month old son. As for nr-my husband is not a family man either...he is a nightclub DJ he likes the nightlife...he is 32. So obviously he will never grow up. He too said he stuck around because he thought things would get better. We fought alot, but I miss him a whole lot. I don't feel quite complete without him around. I still hope he comes back although I know I am better off without him...I'm just lonely. 

Name: lindsey | Date: Apr 21st, 2006 4:13 AM
Oh, and my email is [email protected].
If any of you would like to chat. 

Name: Mary C | Date: Apr 22nd, 2006 3:39 AM
Hi Ladies:

I guess we are all in the same boat. Yes, my husband to said that he doesn't feel that he wants to be in our marriage anymore. We have three children. The youngest is 9 months. He says he loves me as a person, as a mother, but doesn't love me like he used. He just wants to be single. In 15 years while he has gone out after sports, business meetings, etc. I never had the thought of him cheating on me. I have that 1% chance now, but the strange thing is he tells me where is going when he does go out???? Which is a little weird if you are doing something behind your wife's back. So I don't know. I did go see a lawyer and she said that I couldn't kick him out that he had to leave on his own. Life is normal when he is at work, but as soon as he comes home it's so depressing. Some days he's talkative and other days he is just a bump on a log. Ugh! I can't stand it. I always seem to have a knot in my stomach. He does have single friends and he just turned 40 last year so maybe that is part of his problem. Maybe he is going through a mid life crisis - I really don't know. Any suggestions would be helpful. Thanks! 

Name: Lisa | Date: Apr 22nd, 2006 7:03 PM
Nothing....but give him what he wants....a divorce. You can't make someone love you that does'nt.It just does'nt work that way.I'm sorry for you though! 

Name: WANDA | Date: Apr 23rd, 2006 5:12 AM
Don't ever feel like you are alone because you are definitely not. The days of men being dedicated to their family are long over. I have been married for four years to my husband but we have been friends for 17 years although we were only dating for 3 before we were married. Before we married we could talk on the phone for hours. When I was in college he would drive and hour to see me when he got off work late at night even if he had to get up at 5:oo in the morning to drive back. Now I'm sleep when he leaves in the morning and I'm usually in the bed 3 or 4 hours before he comes in at night. But, he claims he's not cheating. My father is a preacher and he says just pray and what I really want to do is hit him with a cast iron skillet! When I was a freshmen in high school I was raped. All of my hopes and dreams over the years have been placed in my husbands hands. I thought that he would support me and protect me. I never knew that I would need to be protected from him. We have a daughter who is two. 

Name: Holley | Date: Apr 24th, 2006 5:28 PM
Hi-I am 35 with a soon to be 7 year old daughter. I am in a similar situation. Her father and I were never married but lived together until recently. He's a second generation musician and a painter. I have spent seven years wondering where he is and what he is doing...come to find out he is gambling, taking loritabs, cocaine, and an alcoholic (this last one was easy to spot)! There were constat fights. I thought kicking him out would make him wake up. But instead his mother has replaced me she found him a place and bought him new furniture! I am so angry...now she is enabling him. Not to mention she walks around like she is the most holy person since Jesus! Anyhow I need to get a job! And I am scared...Years of confidence being beaten and I feel like I am supposed to just wake up and take charge. But I am so stressed. He left me with tons of bills. The house is in my name. The responsibility of doing everything on my own is overwhelming! Anyhow I could go on for days...They say it gets better...Send prayers and I will do the same! 

Name: camille | Date: May 6th, 2006 11:35 PM
my husband still lives at home. i feel he doesn't love me as he doesn't pay much attention to me anymore, but i feel he's satisfied with this situation. it's me who wants more. i think i'll go shopping tomorrow to buy some sexy lingerie and see what happens. wish me luck!!!!! any advice????? 

Name: Trina | Date: May 17th, 2006 7:22 PM
I just found this forum my husband moved out last Thursday it would have been 11 years on May 27th. We have a 9yr and a 4 yr old. I am so confused and hurt and angry I love him soo much. He is 43 so I was hoping it was a midlife crisses but he told me he fell out of love about 4 years ago that really hurt. He has starting working out at the gym and really does not spend the time he should with the kids. I hope if anyone has some ideas or suggestions let me know email me [email protected] 

Name: To Amy | Date: May 18th, 2006 3:35 AM
Honestly I just posted almost the same thing.. Let him be for a while, be civil to him, but let him breath and decide if he really wants to be done. I know it is hard but if you keep telling him NO it makes him want to be done faster.. like telling a child no and you know they want it more since they cant, make sense? Most states you have to have a seperation period to determine if there is no way the marriage will last. Let him have his time to see "if the grass is greener" without you. It may lead him back to you or it may not. Just my opinion, good luck to you!! Remember you are a strong women with kids depending on you and I know it isnt always fair but you can do it without a man!! Huggs to you!! 

Name: misti | Date: May 19th, 2006 11:01 PM
my husband just did the same thing to me and the day after i moved out i seen him with a woman the very next day. It hurt so bad broke my heart. But reguardless of how much it hurts you have to stand up for yourself. You should never let a man put you on the back burner for another woman. I would at least leave him and seperate. show him that if you are not first in his life then he doesn't deserve you. 

Name: Theresa | Date: May 20th, 2006 9:33 AM
today is my mans b-day and i got off work and he was so drunk he didnt evev want to evev want to hang out. My ? is does he even like me any more? we havent hung out for monthes or maybe years 

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