| Name: sandy | Date: Jan 28th, 2010 10:12 PM |
| my husband says I need to grow up . We will be married for eleven months and on Sunday he told me can't do our marraige any more . what can I do about this ↑ |
| Name: Niceguyshaft | Date: Jan 31st, 2010 8:12 PM |
My husband thinks he is Mr. Nice Guy. He cried copiously as he told me that he loved me, but doesn't want to stay married. Awww. Then he wrote me a letter that said he cried and cried. He loooooves me so much. But.....he doesn't want to be married. He cries, he sobs, but in reality, it's really to make himself feel better. To assure himself that he feels more emotional pain about dumping me than he actually does. He always has to view himself as Mr. Nice Guy.
In reality, I've come down with a sight problem in one eye and simultaneously---a back injury--from guess what? Working out in order to achieve the youthful appearance he likes. Once that occurred, he was unsympathetic. He really was. I just read a study that found that if a woman becomes seriously ill, men from HAPPY marriages are 23% more likely than women to leave their spouses. While women in UNhappy marriages were 3% more likely to stay with an ill male spouse.
Now that my husband is making more money at a more prestigious job, he's been (he admits reluctantly) attracted to younger women who (he says) are not as smart or humorous as me, are, well, now sexier. More tears. Well, thank you. ↑ |
| Name: Niceguyshaft | Date: Jan 31st, 2010 10:17 PM |
Just a P.S. I guess I sound so bitter because I just learned about this last night. And this morning he handed me a typed letter outlining our future rules for as long as I still live here (yes, I'd be the one to go). Surprisingly, I haven't whined about my eye or back and am on the road to recovery, but if I had to avoid a certain activity, he got visibly pissed. Huffing and sighing at me. So I tried to downplay my difficulties as much as possible.
Oh, yeah, he cried after handing me my future eviction. I have all the time in the world as long as I don't take too long. I thought things were actually getting better between us: two nights ago he said I was his "soulmate". I didn't even ask for that. No prompting. WTF? Twelve years: Poof. I'm older: been married before. But it was brief. This is so so so very hurtful. He looks at me pitifully like a dog that needs to be put down. My god. I have come to this?
His tears are meant to dampen and drown my anger. I am now in a seperate tiny bedroom in the new place that we just moved into two weeks ago. My life is still in boxes. Boxes that I'll have to throw away: contents at all. He has family, but my tiny family is all gone. We moved around so much (5 times over the country), I have no friends left anymore. Why didn't he tell me this two states ago, where I would've been happy to stay?
I read over this and don't like the woman portrayed in this post. I was light, funny. Now I have aged years overnight. If this is a teachable moment, it sucks. I cannot look in the mirror for hating myself and missing the signs. Deliberately fooling myself? For years? How could I have done that? ↑ |
| Name: waterox | Date: Feb 9th, 2010 6:36 AM |
| My husband and I married about 3 years ago and he began to flirt online 8 months after we got married. Sent me an invitation by mistake to join hot singles flirt side and saw what was he doing. Right at the same time I diagnosed with a suspicious nodule in my breast and he acted like he was no one but the one I need to cook clean etc. He was upset and said sorry for his flirting as for months i was under huge stress seeing him distant to me in such short time marriage and really suffered with it than nodule story and again his lack of commitment on my hard times. Anyway we got agree to over come this shock but has never find happiness like before again and he really didn't put much work on us. Now 3 years behind, lately 14-16 hours online games he is addicted for 3-4 months and i didn't know how to handle someone home but not reachable for any type of communication pissed off and sometimes lost my control because of emotional tensity. 3 weeks ago he said he doesn't want to be married anymore and missing to be a single. Since the beginning I had to sacrifice extreme because of our finance and it was always so hard work for me as a person, never cheat or even thought but also never wanted to leave him. Because i know it is so hard for two to get along this is why most of divorces happen within the first 2 years of marriages commonly. So all my hard work sacrifices went away because he has some strong motivation to move on, totally selfish action. i love him as he has every potential but seems to me delusional with the manner of value the things. We went to consular last week and he said that he doesn't want to work out, cool and made mind, so consular said that than she can help us to move on but this is not what I want and seeing this unfair for my patience towards to relationship. I know guys don't grow up easy and all relationships require work much or less so I have still no point to give up. Why can how comes the one consuming constantly becomes the one wants to withdraw. This is frustrating, we don't fight or argue much but mostly I avoid because accept that he is moody person and learn how to work around. Makes me feel so bad investing on a thing only I value. He is home for some reason and live like two strangers very hard on me. just don't know how to handle this strange situation along with knowing that he has potential and reasons to work out but he doesn't choose so. I bet this will be my last attempt as second time I had to recover my broken hard by similar cockiness in marriage. Weird I still believe in him and love deeply this makes me stay low and fully attend to this fragile situation in correct way. If he moves away sooner or later he will get the same point with whom he commit to as problem comes with his wrong doings. This is why he needs work out either in our love or not. By the way there is no love possible without compromising or sacrificing from ourselves so not necessarily our weakness this is just the nature of love. I wish you all good luck and firm help to get over troubles. ↑ |
| Name: waterox | Date: Feb 9th, 2010 6:49 AM |
| Amy tell him you understand but this is so shock for you that you need a consular. Actually you need many helps and make it clear to him that you expect him to response this with his support, as you love him because of the value he has as a person. I know this is hard to approach this cold for you but he may get some inside with this to value what he has with you and may wanna work on. I am in a same situation and reading thinking talking to myself grounded with every hard feelings. You need to be firm and correct otherwise you may not have much chance. Guys are more self centered than women this is maybe why having kids is only given to them with mens cells. Caring part in marriages mostly women and do it the way you can but please be calm and confident as otherwise has no way to make them understand what the value they about to leave behind. Speak to family friends may help a bit for your sadness but also influence you in negative or put you some kind of strength game which is not so wise. This is why maybe speaking the ones has no direct or close relation to you (both of you) would be wiser and would not influence your work on this sensitive case. I hope you can pull him to consideration and convince (he doesn't need to say yes make this point right between you and consular, he/she may help you without making him notice at the beginning (this is what I didn't get from my consular but you may be luckier than me and I wish so), Good luck!! ↑ |
| Name: rj | Date: Feb 13th, 2010 2:12 AM |
| I have had this same problem in my marriage. Turns out he was addicted to pornography and prone to bouts of deep depression as well. If you can encourage him to get help you should. If not, work on you, get yourself happy and confident and figure out what your your next move is. Don't let his problems control you. ↑ |
| Name: Colleen | Date: Feb 25th, 2010 6:55 AM |
I guess my problem marriage takes the cake. I have been married to my husband for 38 years and now he no longer loves me. He has met up with a pretty young chick at work, and feel in love with her. We are on the verge of a divorce. He is threatening to move out if I don't. We have three grown children and two of them are siding with me. My son is siding with his dad. Yes, I admit that I am afraid of being living alone after being married for so many years. I am 58 years old. Most people say I am a beautiful woman. My age is guessed around 40-45. Not too bad for a woman of my advanced age. But......Where do I go from here. I love my husband very much. Should I go or should I stay? That is the question. I am a non working Registered Nurse and a stay-at-home-wife. I think maybe I might be too old to work. My husband has always been very abusive to me. He nearly killed me three times. Loved to beat the hell out of me when I was pregnant. I am deathly afraid of living alone. A woman my age would have a most difficult time finding a man who would like to date her. Even though I am told how pretty I am, it would be almost impossible to find someone to love me. I pray that God will help me find someone to truly love and accept me.
My heart and prayers goes out to everyone here. May find peace and happiness for your souls. God loves us all.
I am very lonely and would love to hear from some of you. My email is [email protected] ↑ |
| Name: Colleen | Date: Feb 25th, 2010 6:58 AM |
I guess my problem marriage takes the cake. I have been married to my husband for 38 years and now he no longer loves me. He has met up with a pretty young chick at work, and fell in love with her. We are on the verge of a divorce. He is threatening to move out if I don't. We have three grown children and two of them are siding with me. My son is siding with his dad. Yes, I admit that I am afraid of being alone after being married for so many years. I am 58 years old. Most people say I am a beautiful woman. My age is guessed around 40-45. Not too bad for a woman of my advanced age. But......Where do I go from here? I love my husband very much. Should I go or should I stay? That is the question. I am a non -working Registered Nurse and a stay-at-home-wife. I think maybe I might be too old to work. My husband has always been very abusive to me. He nearly killed me three times. Loved to beat the hell out of me when I was pregnant. I am deathly afraid of living alone. A woman my age would have a most difficult time finding a man who would like to date her. Even though I am told how pretty I am, it would be almost impossible to find someone to love me. I pray that God will help me find someone to truly love and accept me.
My heart and prayers goes out to everyone here. May find peace and happiness for your souls. God loves us all.
I am very lonely and would love to hear from some of you. My email is [email protected] ↑ |
| Name: Tray | Date: Feb 26th, 2010 3:42 PM |
| My husband said I don't provide what he needs. I have tried so many sexy things. He just told me he wants me to have an inner ego to be freakly........ ↑ |
| Name: suzanne | Date: Mar 11th, 2010 10:31 PM |
| i went through a mad stage after my stil birth went out and drink took over , a year later my husband went on a dating site and told me he no longer loves me , i couldent let go has we have kids together , he said he had it with me and said he no longer wants me apart of his life , i sat bye his front door for 5 hours waiting for to cum home , he said if i dident go he would call the police , im in a mess how do i cope with this? ↑ |
| Name: suzanne | Date: Mar 11th, 2010 10:33 PM |
| my husband never loved me , 14 yrs together to now look me in the face and say goodbye move on ↑ |
| Name: Mindy | Date: Mar 29th, 2010 8:34 PM |
| My husband left our home the first part of December after us being together over 17 years. He says he does not love me anymore and just wants to be by himself. Also says he does not want to take me down with him. I am sure he is suffering from clinical depression. Has all the signs . He has suffered from depression mostly all his life as had an acholic verbally abusive father. He went to councling years ago but when the counselor wanted to talk about his childhood he said that was not his problem and he did not want to talk about it. In all of our years together he never talked about his childhood years. He has filed for divorce and will not even consider getting counciling (either couples or for himself). So sad. ↑ |
| Name: benita | Date: Apr 5th, 2010 2:26 PM |
| my husband is 22 and i'm44 we have been married 5 months and he left me a month ago he say that he wants us to still be freinds and that he does want a dovorce but he says he just wants to dissapear for awhile he says that he is no seeing anyone he just wants to be by himself. what do i do i do ↑ |
| Name: Very Sad | Date: Apr 9th, 2010 11:08 AM |
| My husband of 17 years and 2 daughters moved out 4 days ago. We have had problems for the last 3 years after he suffered a serious illness and almost died. He became withdrawn and very selfish. We went to counseling but all the while he was chatting online with another woman and telling her he loved her. This was the second time I caught him so I made him leave. Now he says he loves me like a friend or companion but not like a wife. I am devastated. I never thought he would hurt me and we used to have such a good marriage. He says he needs time to figure it out and maybe the feeling will come back. In the meantime, my children are really suffering and I can't sleep, eat or even go to work. I am so lost. ↑ |
| Name: Bobbi Jo | Date: Apr 18th, 2010 8:27 PM |
| I have been seperated for three weeks, he lives at his sisters house, wont talk, call or text me, said he still cares for me because I am the mother of his children, does that mean there isn't any hope for us? ↑ |
| Name: stuffle7 | Date: Apr 20th, 2010 1:16 AM |
| Oh boy have I been there. At least your husband was kind enough to confess. To this day mine denies anything was going on. We've been divorced almost 11 years. Whatever you do keep your self respect. Tears aren't going to work. Sounds like he has already made up his mind. What you should do is get a lawyer FAST. You have to think of your two children and yourself . Like Claire said what goes around comes around. No truer words were ever spoken ↑ |
| Name: loney | Date: Apr 27th, 2010 2:44 PM |
| my husband moved for his job we have teenager and know he say he loves me but don't want to be married. he says he can't be himself around me. and he does not want to share anythink with me anymore. he told me to chill out he sure will be ok but i feel he want to have to life one here one there confussed ↑ |
| Name: me-n-mygirls | Date: May 5th, 2010 6:54 PM |
| You know a lot of these posts I read are very similar even my own. It's hard for me to tell my story in short cause there has just been so much goin on back to back. I feel like if someone has cursed me since the day I was conceived. Well to start off I found out some years ago that I was the result of rape and then as time went on my mother stayed with my father who continued to abuse all of us till we were taken away when I was 9.All six of us were in state custody for 3 years.Finally went home w/mom who had met someone new.She threw all her time and energy into who we all now call dad.I met my husband at 16,got pregnant and helped him raise his son who was born when he was just 15. I know I should have run for the hills but I thought I was in love. Anyway I'm 31 now and so is he and he now no longer wants to be married. 15 yrs and 3 kids later.During all this time I found out he was molested as a child,which he never told me,the molestation caused him to develop an addiction to porn and sex and now he says he doesn't want me because he can't take all the crying,and arguing which wouldn't be happening if he didn't give me reasons to cry,bitch,complain whine whatever word men like to use when it's us doing the talking and venting.Men like this just are so damaged inside they blame everyone else for their mental and emotional shortcomings. They're not even men they're little boys trapped in grown men's bodies with all the responsibilities and privaleges. I just don't get it!!!! How am I the problem when he's the one refusing to get help?!!!Not even for his kids.I helped him get custody of his son who I raised since he was 11months old,he's now 16 and we have two girls together ages 13 and 8. My son and oldest daughter have been making some major bad choices since they figured out they could and my husband still refuses to grow up even though he knows and has admitted if only he would change our kids wouldn't be acting out the way they have been.My whole life is a mess and I don't know what the hell to do!!!!Please someone help me!!! I just want the good guy I see come out from time to time. I know he can do it I just don't know what he's afraid of. ↑ |
| Name: me-n-mygirls | Date: May 5th, 2010 6:59 PM |
| That's not even close to all the details of what's been goin on, I just didn't want to take up the entire web page...lol But if you want to know more details and you have advice I'm listening so please e-mail me [email protected] ↑ |
| Name: SUSAN | Date: May 14th, 2010 8:35 PM |
| imageine how i feel...he left when the kids were small and took off for 5 years we reconcile and he stays for 10 years...but had a few seperations during that time. now that the kids are older and independent hes left and im holding down the house that needs lots of work, has a mortgatge and a 13 year old car. he wants to facebook, ride his bike, bowl and live in a maintenance free apartment. the kids all seem to act like this is okay...cause i do the work, the come home between college and act like its still the same...only theres only one person doing the work and expect me to carry on like he was still here ↑ |
| Name: ladylaura | Date: Jun 6th, 2010 9:06 PM |
| my husband doesnt want me anymore, i have been with him 20 years, do i just get out of the house? HE IS A TRIBAL MEMBER AND THE HOUSE IS NOT MINE IS HIS, WHAT SOULD I DO?? ↑ |
| Name: Ka | Date: Jun 7th, 2010 4:42 AM |
| One day my husband said "I don't love you any more" and leave the house to live with someone else. I happened from one moment to the other. I can tell you that the day before it happen he was telling me "I love you" What I am doing know is doing my best to continue my life becasue I am sure I can not force him to love me again. I have to let him go. ↑ |
| Name: Jalb | Date: Jun 9th, 2010 2:50 AM |
| When I read all of these stories it really makes me sad. I have really tried to understand why spouses betray each other.In my situation my husband and I have been in each other.s graces for 4 decades, We have been married for 29 years,We have 4 chilren 2 are adults and 2 are in their late teens.My husband wants a son.our adoptive son will be 18 in a few months,We have also been blessed with 2 wonderful grandsons but he is not happy.My husband has had an affair to make a baby. I have lost all trust,I have been down sizing my material items around the house and I have packed his belongings and placed them by the door.When he does leave I plan to relocate. I cannot have more children due to midlife change, Can someone please explain to be why my husband wants a son so bad that he will hurt me . ↑ |
| Name: Dawn | Date: Jun 29th, 2010 11:19 PM |
He hasn't loved you for 3 years..... odds are he hasn't really ever then. If his new boss being newly single is all it takes. He obviously has his own insecure issues - please don't let them become yours! I have been married for 5 years and my husband has all the signs that he's checked out and I'm a mess. When we first got together, he was jealous, protective and possessive - now he couldn't care less about us. I am having trouble with the split, don't get this down about a man. I can't imagine anyone is worth feeling bad about yourself - but it's hard not to. I do know the grass is always greener on the other side, and he may or may not see that eventually. The only thing you CANNOT do is live your life hoping that he does. Let him go. Easier said than done. I know........ Read an article today : Steps to get over a love..... 1. Disbelief phase 2. Realization phase
3. Destructive phase 4. Acceptance phase
I think I'm JUST starting Realization - at least it is a process and I can't stop it. Kinda makes me feel better knowing that. ↑ |
| Name: Glynda | Date: Jul 31st, 2010 9:22 PM |
| My husband doesn't want to be married any more should i think it's another woman ↑ |
| Name: Glynda | Date: Jul 31st, 2010 9:30 PM |
| what if he say there is no one else can you believe what he say ↑ |
| Name: chris | Date: Aug 6th, 2010 4:49 AM |
| my huband told me we are done. idon;t know what i supposed to do. i have 3 kids . i am not a working mom. iam very sad and deppressed. please advise me some good tips to survive. ↑ |
| Name: chris | Date: Aug 6th, 2010 5:01 AM |
| my huband told me we are done. idon;t know what i supposed to do. i have 3 kids . i am not a working mom. iam very sad and deppressed. please advise me some good tips to survive. i love my husband more than my kids. but he thiks i am a bitch . i don;t want to destroy my life please help me. ↑ |
| Name: Andrea | Date: Aug 15th, 2010 4:37 AM |
| My husband of 24 yrs told me he is not sure he wants to be married. He says he doesn't think he has done anything in his life and he needs to think about what he wants to do ↑ |
| Name: Hannah | Date: Aug 15th, 2010 7:57 PM |
| Hi my husband told me 5wks ago he got married to a lady in bangladesh that he bought over saying that she is his spouse. Even though we are legally married in the uk. and the home office did not know as we both are born in the uk and did not need to go through the home office when we got married abroad. We have had alot of domestic violence over the 12yr marriage and i recently got him cautioned just last year. but his date with his lady started few years back sine 2005 and hes been going abroad 1 or 2 times a year and telling me hes going for business trips. And theres me thinging ok no probs 'me being more gullable and stupid' andy how he still wants me and his new lay on the side so he will offiacially be married to 2ladies, i have five children with him and theyre all under 10yrs youngest 2! i was stupid . i told him i am divorcing him but now he's being so kind and considerate for me to change my mind but i am still adamant. i know i will struggle but at least he wont have a hold over me. pls give me advise any other better suggestions? ↑ |
| Name: bonnie | Date: Sep 4th, 2010 2:25 AM |
| i'm getting married the money and after 6 month, how should i go about getting a divorce? ↑ |
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