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Name: Theresa | Date: May 20th, 2006 9:33 AM
today is my mans b-day and i got off work and he was so drunk he didnt evev want to evev want to hang out. My ? is does he even like me any more? we havent hung out for monthes or maybe years 

Name: Chrissy | Date: May 21st, 2006 7:22 PM
I am going through something similar. My husband of 10 years has stopped wanting to have sex at all. I always get some excuse. It happened kinda all of a sudden. He told me one night after I brought it up that He wasnt physically attracted to me anymore. He loved me but I dont turn him on. I was fat. Had gained too much weight and so on. I was sooo hurt I wanted to kill myself. Im stuck in a state where I have no family. He apologized the next day and said he lied He didnt know what the reason was and needed somethign to blame it on. He was sorry Blah Blah blah But I dont believe his apology. I dont think I will ever get over it. I dont know what to do. We have had sex once in like 3 months and I didnt even enjoy it because of what he said. Good luck with your situation. I really believe if you are confident in yourself Give him his Freedom and leave like you dont give a damn. He would come back. The question is if he gives you enough time away.....Will you even want him Back???? 

Name: bob | Date: May 24th, 2006 12:12 PM
What do you still love about him? If he is goign after his new boss he really has no interest in you. He is looking for new stuff. I think hard if you still really love him 

Name: Caron | Date: May 25th, 2006 9:33 PM
My husband of 16 yrs says he wants to leave. We have a 12, 8 and 4 yrs old. I am so mad and bitter. I have done nothing but be faithful and a good mother. He decides he needs a change. I am having a hard time letting him go. I love him, but the kids will
be devasted too. How does one deal with this kind of pain? 

Name: michelle | Date: May 25th, 2006 11:44 PM
hi ladies, going thru the same thing my husband of 18 yrs walked out without a word. Said he loved me but was not in love with me. He hid it real well i didnt even know he was unhappy. He had a few problems when he got back from iraq, but wouldnt see a counselor even though i encouraged it. apparently when the "honeymoon" period was over that first year was when he decided he wasnt happy but stayed for the kids. pretended everything was fine until he went to work one day and didnt come home.... 

Name: KF | Date: May 29th, 2006 4:21 PM
My husband walked out 2 weeks before Christmas this past year. We were together 10 years. Just out of the blue said he wasnt inlove. I really wanted it to work and went into a deep depression. I finally crawled out of my bed and out of my cave (bedroom) and tried to move on. This man was my soulmate and my life. Even though I know he wanted another, I still wanted him. Time heals all wounds......maybe. It may not heal them but I believe in time, you learn to cope and deal with moving on. I went on my spell of going out and having fun eventually. Did it solve anything? Nope! But atleast I was having some fun. I did meet someone else, quite younger than me and we're now living together and yes I love him. Not sure if it will be a happy ending or not but there are no guarentees or I would still have a marriage. I know it hurts and the pain may never go away for some. Each day gets better. When you have kids its even harder because you do have to see each other and communicate. If anyone wants to chat, I'll be happy to chat with ya. Talking helps cause you need to have a shoulder to lean on and someone who will just let you talk and talk til you feel a little better. My email is [email protected] 

Name: JD | Date: May 30th, 2006 3:38 AM
I am trying to figure out what is going on in my marriage. We have a 2.5 yr old and a 10 mo. old. In the last three years we have had sex about 10 times. I feel so frustrated and neglected. I do not have an issue with babyweight and I had two c-sections. I think others think I am attractive. Is it normal for a man to go that long with sex, or should I just assume he has something on the side? I've tried to talk to him but he won't discuss it. He is also very insulting towards me, in about every aspect. I have set up a counseling appointment - would be our first - but I am not sure he is going to go. Honestly, it's as if he has no feelings. I am incredibly lonely. I wish I had a friend or someone to talk to. 

Name: anusca | Date: May 30th, 2006 1:43 PM
i have been married for 7 years 3 1/2 months pregnant
since i told my husband i was pregnant he has completely changed. he has been going out every week for the past year, but since the pregnancy he says he needs space, he says he loves me but needs to be free, i feel deeply hurt and wonder if i stay for the baby i will recent him a lot because now i am not sure about hsi feelings for me.... it is very hard to hear someone say they are not sure about their feelings for you , when you are expecting his baby, hurts a lot.... is a baby enough reason to stay 

Name: I'm Crazy | Date: May 31st, 2006 7:24 AM
My husband of 7 years (we've been together for 12) out of the blue tells me he is no longer in love with me and he wants to be on his own. I am a few years older than him and he moved from mom's house to us so he never really got a chance to be on his own. I have my own issues, been controlling, not so nice sometimes, but I haven't always gotten what I needed from him all the time either. I love him, I truely love him and this completely blindsided me! He says he wants to be on his own and do things before he gets too old to do them. Says there is no one else, its not that. I would do anything in the world to make it work, but he just doesn't even want to try. Should I fight for him or let him go? To me the easy way to to get out, but the right thing is not always the easy thing to do. Me, along with many other people thought we had "it" and would be the ones to make it. How can I learn to accept his decision if it ends up that way? What I would really like to do is try again, this was a wake up call and I'm ready to go to work on it! I just don't get how he can throw this all away without wanting to try. I'd be happy to give him more space which will allow me to work on my problems. I really love him. Any suggestions? 

Name: kirstina | Date: Jun 1st, 2006 3:09 AM
my husdand wants to be with someone thin and im not i want to go back to being thin but its hard with two kids one is 5ys and one is 6months and im thinking of becoming anorexia so i can go back to the size i was before i had kids 

Name: SE | Date: Jun 5th, 2006 6:35 AM
5 days ago my husband told me he didn't want to be married to me anymore he said I was just like a sister to him he likes me and cares for me but that is all. I really pressed for some more reasons as to why? He then told me he was "in love" with someone at work don't know where he found the time! We have 2 children who are devastated I am in total shock as he has JUST left the house. He has just turned forty last year. and seems to think his future is very bright with this other person even talking about his future with her as he gets a flat and as we divorce, (BEARING IN MIND THIS IS THE FIFTH DAY OF KNOWING ANYTHING) I don't now if they will move in together? I am torturing myself mentally blaming my short comings etc.Right now I still love him! Any help 

Name: KF | Date: Jun 5th, 2006 8:17 AM
to SE: I know how ya feel. You will go through so many stages. Me and my children were devastated. My son still acts up and it's been since Dec. It has been the most difficult thing to go through. I honestly don't know how I made it through it but somehow I did. Some things I handled wrong but it was so emotional. Just keep leaning on friends and family members and I'm here if ya want to chat. There is so many things to list that could help and all the stages you and your children will go through. 

Name: SE | Date: Jun 5th, 2006 11:12 AM
dear kf, thanks for replying to me, the main concern right now is if I am doing myself more harm than good by hoping he might come "crawling" back to me at his some stage, or would it be better to except his idea of total closure on our marriage? 

Name: stay @ hm mom | Date: Jun 9th, 2006 5:08 AM
I feel in my heart that my husband dont' love me anymore 

Name: Barbara, | Date: Jun 19th, 2006 12:13 PM
Well, today is my 2nd wedding anniversary and my husband told me last night that he doesn't love me and doesn't want to be married anymore. I don't know what to do. We just bought a house, I just graduated college and we have no kids but we do have 2 dogs and a cat. We slept in separate rooms last night...I'm depressed and angry. What do I tell my family, he said he doesn't want a divorce but he doesn't want to be married...I told him he can't have his cake and eat it too b/c love is what a marriage needs for survival and I"m not gonna fake this relationship. 

Name: Girly29 | Date: Jun 19th, 2006 10:15 PM
WoW!!! I've been reading trough this wole posting and OMG! alot of jerks out there! In my case I left my guy cause he was a ass! But all I have to say is girls you are worth more than a jerk who will hurt you by walking out on you ....There's someone for everyone..or not...give yourselves time to heal before hooking up with someone new...like 1yr..or more time...For the lady's who have children put your time into them and make sure to they're ok......Hang in there cause it WILL get better!!!! Hurts like hell at first but time does heal! Take care ladies:) 

Name: F | Date: Jun 20th, 2006 7:10 PM
I have been married for 25 years. While there is the odd argument usually over my husband not listening or communicating ( every 6 months) we get along well. In the past I suffered with depression, but have been doing extremely well over the past 6 years with medication. I feel that I function like a normal healthy loving individual. Obviously there were a lot of things I wasn't seeing. When we'd have an argument or when I did something to bug him, he would just keep it inside.
A month ago he told me that he doesn't think he loves me any more and that he thinks he "might learn to appreciate me more if I went away for a year". I have been going through hell since.
Since I am a "stay-at-home" mom, for the most part, I have been trying to make decisions regarding seeking employment, and the legalities of moving out. I have 2 degrees, and am hoping to find a teaching position. I guess I just need to know I'm not alone. 

Name: asi am | Date: Jun 21st, 2006 5:24 PM
cant forse love just b there for the kids 

Name: barb | Date: Jun 24th, 2006 11:36 AM
ny housband told me that he stills loves me but soesnt want ot be married anymore after 25 yr, I dont get it. 

Name: jojo | Date: Jun 28th, 2006 12:58 AM
my husband told me yesterday he wants to leave me and my mind says its for the best but my heart wont let go 

Name: kee | Date: Jul 2nd, 2006 3:48 AM
I am so glad I found this forum - I don't know what to do with this pain. The worst part is that it's inconsolable. My DH of 12 years (our anniversary is tomorrow) and the father of my amazing and beautiful 3 kids, 11 yr girl, 9 yr boy, 3 yr girl - walked out last week. He has been cold, insensitive and downright cruel the past few months - since we moved here after being kicked out of our home - foreclosed from his lost business - sold everything I own, my kitten was killed by a car, my grandmother died, and my daughter had only a month left to graduate 5th grade. Yet - I was willing to move and start over with him. The day after we got here it's like he shut off. No sex (and he used to be a sex maniac), no touching or intimacy, he just treated me like a leper - never came home ontime and when he did - he would blatantly avoid me - like I did something wrong! He spent every weekend away with him mother and family (she is the main problem and is now supporting him since he left us). This weekend is the first time alone - he has set up a "visitation" time and I am here all alone. I HATE him and I am so hurt and feel so betrayed. All the clues of an affair are there - but, I just don't know. I never thought he would walk out. My kids adore him and are devastated beyond belief. He left me after being a SAHM for 5 yrs, no money in the account (spent it all before he left), no gas, no food in the fridge, and over the week he left - and until this day - has given me $35. I am devastated. And even tonite - I think he will soften up and realize his stupidity - but he his a mean as ever. He even told me he found an apartment and can get his boat "out of my way" - the apartment? The apartment we lived in when we first fell in love and got engaged and conceived our first baby. He still doesn't see what my problem is that it hurt me so bad. What an ass. 

Name: Ted | Date: Jul 2nd, 2006 11:26 PM
What if it is your wife that tells you that she doesn't want to be married anymore cause she doesn't want to have to answer to any one. That's what my wife told me. But I love her and don't want to loose her. What should I do. 

Name: TTT | Date: Jul 4th, 2006 2:14 AM
Barbara, I know what you're going thru. I have a similar story.. email me: [email protected] 

Name: Flow | Date: Jul 5th, 2006 9:51 PM
I understand you more than you know I have been in a realtionship for 8 yrs. and now he says I don't make him happy anymore. So he thought that maybe we neede to talk to someone and we have I am giving him his space and hoping to maybe workeverything out but all I can do is pray he. He claims he doesn't want to hurt me any more but I don't want to hurt anymore either It is the scaryest thing I ever had to face I rather deal with my fear of spiders. Just keep a possitve thoughts in your mind and remember that the kids always feel your sadness even though they are kids my kids are 9,10, 13 so it is even harder because they ask so many questions and I have no aswers for them. Just keep upo with them and if he doesn't come around you have to let go because two unhappy people in one home can cause alot of hurt feeling. So if you ever need someone to talk to just e mail me and i will write back. from a broken heart too. FLow [email protected] 

Name: CHRISTINE | Date: Jul 6th, 2006 5:24 AM
my husband spoke very similiar , we have three children and been married now 8 years, together for almost 12 and he stated he wasn't sure he loved me anymore,had no romantic feeling, and was tired of being married and having a family, i am very upset and extremely confused, is it mlc , why is he only thinking of himself, one day he wants to leave the next he says he wants to work it out, but i'm the only one with changes expected , i trying to be strong and work it out ,i don't want this to hurt my children, has anyone had a similiar experience. 

Name: Grace | Date: Jul 6th, 2006 5:47 AM
I know it hurts, but his doing you a favor. Please, don't let your kids suffer in this marriage. He will eventually become really angry with you and your kids because he is unhappy. Your husband has no clues what's life without a family. 

Name: Lorraine | Date: Jul 8th, 2006 2:59 PM
My husband told me a month ago he loves me but isn't in love with me, doesn't want a divorce wants to separate and maybe we can date. We were married for 13 years, and dated for 7 years. All 3 of his brothers did this to their wives. I have a 7 year old son. He was so mean and cold to me leading up to this, never touching me, nor wanting sex and he used to want sex all the time. He is still living home, in our family room and we don't speak to each other. I don't get it. If he is so "unhappy" why doesn't he move the hell out! 

Name: Ally | Date: Jul 10th, 2006 6:11 AM
Sometimes you cannot change how a person feels. It is painful to be married when you no longer want to be with that person. It is difficult for him, too. New research is indicating that humans are not innately monogamous. I will tell you this will get worse for you if you stay. It is hard to leave, as I have been unable to, because I care more about our children's emotional well- being. They are 13 and 18. My husband is painfully a "family"man and I want to be free with my kids. It is awful to be smothered by someone who is trying to make you love them again. I am counting the years until my last child is 18. 

Name: K | Date: Jul 11th, 2006 5:53 AM
my husband does not want to be married anymore. he is leaving because marriage to me has been awful. he always reminds me that he did not want the marriage anyway. we have a 6 and 3 year old. for the last 2.5 years he has done nothing to make the marriage work. i even gave him the open marriage but he still wants to go. i am so hurt and heartbroken because he did not and does not even try. help me [email protected] 

Name: K | Date: Jul 11th, 2006 2:51 PM
You are in a sad situation. I don't know what you mean by an open marriage? Anyways, since your husband tells you he didn't want to marry you in the first place, then he should have been a real man and not went through with it. Yet, he ends up having 2 children with you? Shame on him. He not only has made you miserable but he brought children into the picture. Well, I know you hurt but you need to pick yourself up and stand on your own two feet. You have to for your children's sake. They need to see that mommy is strong and is able to overcome the difficulties in life. They will learn to appreciate you for it. Since, your hubby has given any effort in the 2.5 years, you need to find yourself a good aggressive attorney to defend you for divorce and custody of your children. I was marriage 12 years to a man, who was impractical, mental and physically abusive to me. About 5 years before I left, I, too, felt my marriage was the pits. I felt like a physical body in the home, not more. As long as I took care of the children, kept his clothes washed, house cleaned, did the yard work, be his secretary and kept him feed, he was very content with living. I felt there needed to be more to a relationship than physical labor. He gave other females more attention than me. Then, when I caught him with his feddish of internet pornography and discovered my daughter caught him, I lost total respect for him. I my heart, I left him. It was just a matter of scrapping up enough money to hire an attorney to leave him. My family didn't support me, they felt I should go to a marriage counselor. I disagreed. A couldn't make the leapord change it's spots. Leaving him was the scariest thing I've experienced by I couldn't subject the children to an unhappy life anymore. Now, 3 years gone and finally divorced after 1 year, I'm more happier now than I've ever been. I didn't like the person I was when I was with him. He was killing my spirit inside of me. He didn't appreciate one damn thing I did for him. Yet, he still tries to control me but I tell him to go fly a kite. You can make that step and you will be just fine. Sure, it hurts, but in the long run, you will be much happier. It's hard to let go, I thought I was the wrong person (the screw up) for the longest time. Since then, I have a lot of people tell me, I did the right thing and I'm stronger by making the step. It took small steps but once I got them moving the steps were easier. I don't feel the hurt anymore and I used to be puzzled over why he treated me that way. I realized it was a lack of his own insecuries. He was trying to make me suffer for them. Don't allow that to happen to you. Two out of my three children have seen a difference in me and appreciate that I made the right decision. If you have family to help you, don't feel guilty reaching out for their help. If you are alone, you can still do it. All this maybe not something you wanted to hear but you don't want to die inside yourself. I hope this information helps you. Remember, no matter how hard you try, your not going to change him. He has to want to change himself for you. He doesn't sound like he is willing to do so. Obviously, he has given up. So, don't let him tear you down---Be strong. You do have it in you. Keep me posted. 

Name: sally | Date: Jul 11th, 2006 2:55 PM
You need to find someone who loves you in return. You need to find someone who can make you happy and who you can make happy in return. 

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