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Name: Jamie | Date: Aug 30th, 2006 3:47 AM
WHAT A SELFISH BASTARD! He doesn't love you but it is okay to impregnate you! ? Get away from this trash. Believe me, his boss is just you a few years ago -- if anything happens with them its temporary. Once a pig always a pig. 

Name: erika | Date: Sep 1st, 2006 7:57 PM
I'm going through the same thing my husnad of 9 years keeps saying that he tried for 9 years and that maybe he's not the one for me and that he loves me but doesn't know if he can do this anymore, he even tells me that I'm a pretty girl and that I probably won't be alone for long..how can he say those things after 9 years? 

Name: Lisa | Date: Sep 3rd, 2006 1:42 AM
Me again! Hang in there Erika! My husband has moved out of the house because I asked him too. We are both going to counseling and he is now regretting what he said! I went out with a single friend last night and boy was my husband trying to get a hold of me! I had a nice time and a lot of laughs! Which I desperately needed! We are supposed to see the counselor next week together for the first time. I have explained to him that he has a lot to prove to me and that I have alot of hurt to get over and that this will take time. He has agreed with this and sent me roses on Wednesday. In counseling, we have come to understand that all of this has stemmed from his childhood. He did have a hard childhood. So, only time will tell. But, we are both hopeful! 

Name: Danielle | Date: Sep 6th, 2006 3:03 AM
I wish my husband would come out and say the same words. I love him, but I have known for a while he does not love me. I have found him on the internet several times claiming he is single and wanting relationships with other women and men. I just thank god for my two beautiful children 1 and 2 years old and try to hold myself together until I find the means to leave him. I hope you are able to stay strong for yourself and your children....... If your need to vent e-mail me I could use a impartial [email protected] 

Name: cathy | Date: Sep 10th, 2006 1:41 AM
try to talk to him,the pressures of kids is a lot,it changes awoman emotionally and mentally,im sure he still loves you,just talk,dont get mad please,it only makes things worse,dont get jealous,you are you,best luck,,be calm,x 

Name: Kayla | Date: Sep 10th, 2006 4:39 AM
My daughter is now 12 years old. When she was 2 my husband and I went through some tough times. He had told me he loved me, but not the way he should love me. We were together in our teens and we married when I was 22 and he was 25. It took some time but we did work through everything . It was hard, but well worth it. Being told by your spouse that you are not loved in that special way anymore hurts so bad. He was turning 30 at that point in his life and I guess going through a little mid life. He is now 40 and I was pretty nervous about the whole 40 thing. We made out fine. I think back to those days when he told me that he didn't love me, and it still hurts 10 years later that he actually said this to me. I never bring it up, but i do think about it. Those were some really tough times and I know exactly how you are feeling. I wish you all the best, and I hope things have got better. 

Name: Lisa | Date: Sep 11th, 2006 4:41 AM
My husband and I had our first date since he moved out. He came over and we just talked and held each other for 4 hours. It was one of the best times I've had in a long time. He put on his wedding ring and so did I. He told me he didn't just love me but that he was in love with me. The fear of having to hear him say I don't love you will be with me probabally forever. When someone you loved for 15 years tells you that, it just doesn't go away. I guess you just learn to live with it even though I can still see his face when he said it. But, I truly believe he does love me and so we are talking about him moving back home in around a month. I hope this works. But, only time will tell. Hang in there ladies. Sometimes there can be happy endings and if it is not with your husband right now, there are alot of great men out there who do not care if a woman has children. I know, I was raised by one! 

Name: frances | Date: Sep 18th, 2006 1:08 AM
i think you should sit down with him and talk about this situation, it may be because of the newly single boss but it can also be about other things that you should know about to figure out if it can or can't be fixed before talking about separation. 

Name: Hopeful | Date: Sep 23rd, 2006 4:37 AM
My husband and I have been going through counseling for months now. He never said he didn't love me but had a semi-mid-life crisis of his own. I have been hanging in there trying to work things out. I have never felt so alone within our marriage in my life. This is a man I have been with for 12 years and we have a beautiful daughter. The advice others have given regarding letting him go is a good one. I had my counsler suggest a book by Lou Dobson entitled Tough Love. Read it, it's a bit religous which doesn't do so much for me but it was the best advice I ever recieved. My husband left me and I followed the advice of the book and he did come back on his knees. Things aren't great, it's still been rocky, but sometimes there is hope. Keep your chin up and know that eventually, no matter what your life will get better. Don't let your happiness rest in his hands. 

Name: gopu | Date: Jun 24th, 2007 6:25 AM
chat with... 

Name: dhuhai03 | Date: Jun 30th, 2007 7:37 PM
hello i am very serious about that but i will want you to pray to God allmigth i hope everything will done in the name of God amen 

Name: Lost | Date: Jun 30th, 2007 8:01 PM
I am in a similar situation but a little different. My husband and I lived together for about 8 years before we got married 3 years ago. We are both 34 now and bought a house about a 1 1/2 years ago. We both wanted to be married and have a house before we had kids. In the end of April I found out I was pregnant! We have been trying for about 2 years. He knew what the cosequences were of having unprotected sex and even told me I could go off my birth control, so I was not "tricking" him at all into having kids. Before we got married I knew my husband wasn't jumping for joy to have kids but he was not against it. When I told him we were going to have a child, he retreated. After a week he approached me and said that before I found out I was pregnant he was going to ask for a seperation. His reasons were that he didn't want to have kids anymore, that he still loved me and cared for me but wanted me to be happy. I was so upset. About a week after that conversation I had a miscarriage. He still wants a seperation but can't tell me why exactly, just that he's not happy and he knows I want kids and he doesn't. I am at a loss. He keeps telling me that I am still young and can find someone who will make me happy and want to have kids. I can't even fathom that right now. I want to at least try to save the marriage and he says he wants to also. I know we should concentrate on the marriage first then the kid thing but that's a big part of my hopes and dreams. I am looking for some others that I can at least just talk to and see what they ended up doing and if they are happy now. I don't need anyone telling me that there is someone else but that is not ALWAYS the case and I don't need anyone just telling me what to do. Just some advice and a friend would be nice. Please help! Thank you for listening!! 

Name: sophie | Date: Jul 3rd, 2007 1:16 AM
if he doesnt love u then he probably wont change but if fights start getting in the way just give a trial of being on your own and if he still loves you he will cum bak and that will show that he really loves you although it may be hard on the kids they probably wont like the fighting i no i dont 

Name: sandi | Date: Jul 5th, 2007 9:29 PM
My husband cheated 4 times on me, and one of them was an affair that lasted 3 or 4 months, at least thats what he said. She was 2o years younger then me. Yes, I still can't put it behind me, even thou it has been 4 years ago. He has not seen his children in 14-1/2 years due to a bad marrage. So my problem is that after I found out about the affairs I told him that I would do what ever I wanted to help my son, because he has always had a problem with my son and I having a good relationship. I do not do alot for my son, because he does't need help , he useally helps others. But 3-1/2 yrs ago I put a cell phone in my name for him. To put it in his name, we both have to be there at the same time. I work 5 days/8:am to 5:pm, and he does to, so it's not like he's screwing up our credit, and that he can't get it changed, My husband is a real self centered ass sometimes. He does't believe me when I told him that we will get it out of my name as soon as we can meet. I don't think that that's the real problem he has. 

Name: A.L | Date: Jul 14th, 2007 3:48 PM
My husband and I have been together since we were in our teens. Had lots of tough years. Both of us did stupid things.
On our 10th anniversary (3 years ago) we had a chat and decided we were going to leave the past and make a fresh start, buy a house and have a baby. We bought our house, had our baby and fell into financial difficulties. He blames me for everything, drudges up our past (we promised not to do that anymore) and now says he wants a life for himself, where he can spend his money and not be stressed by bills and responsibilities. Our son is 14 months old, I'm between work contracts and therefore currently unemployed, we strapped to a house we can't afford to keep and can't afford to sell and every single day I have to listen to the blame, blame, blame. I have been with him for 20 years of my life. Married for 13 of those years. We finally started a family and now I feel so let down and heartbroken. I feel sad for my son because try as I might I get sucked into arguments and end up crying or shouting. I don't know what to do. I know in my head that ending our marriage is probably best but I don't know how to do it. Put the house up for sale? Move in with family until I get settled in a job again? I feel like a failure and I'm dragging my son along for the ride.
Help me please.... 

Name: Dora | Date: Jul 27th, 2007 8:52 PM

Name: SS | Date: Jul 28th, 2007 4:28 PM
I just stumbled on this sight and am shocked to hear how many people are in the same boat as me, I feel so alone. Been with husband for 20 years, married 12, have 3 children (10,8,5). He'd been cold and distant for the past 6 months or so. Drinking heavily. Sex life went from him chasing after me to non-existant, seemingly overnight. He also spoke to me not only with no respect at all - but as though I'm just some stupid irritation. Spends all free time with his divorced friends - at bars, stays gone all night. After months of asking him what is going on and getting only "I don't know". Seriously - that's all he ever said was I don't know. A couple nights ago he said I've never really been the person of his dreams, he's just stayed with me because it was the safe and easy thing to do. (To say I'm devastated is an understatement.) We're going to try counseling in a couple days, although he's against it and swears he won't tell a stranger anything. (not surprising since he won't tell me anything either.) He swears there is no one else. I have no proof otherwise, but obviously he's being very deceptive. I don't know if I'm seeking advice or trying to get all this off my chest. I don't know if counseling will work for us and I don't know if I want it to. Do I want a husband who is just "settling" for me, so I can have no self esteem for the rest of my life, all the while knowing he's still searching for his perfect match and just staying with me in the meantime? ugh. I feel like I've been gut punched, literally. Any words of advice? 

Name: Bobbi | Date: Jul 31st, 2007 1:19 PM
I have somewhat of the same problem. I have a 12 yrold and a 10yrold and a 15month old. Since the baby has come home he doesn't sleep with me and he doesn't treat me the same as before. He used to cuddle all the time and no matter what we had to sleep together every night, now he even lies to shut me up and says he'll sleep in our bed but I always wake up alone. 

Name: devistated in ga | Date: Aug 1st, 2007 2:30 AM
Hello all... I am new here and going through a difficult time. My husband told me last weekend on our 12th anniversary that he doesn't want to be married anymore and that he is not in love with me anymore. He says he loves me as a person and as a mother and he wants to be friends but he is not in love with me and the "spark" just isn't there for him anymore. I found out in October he had been having a on-going affair w/ a 25 year old who he worked with. He had decided to work things out w/ me and he left her- however he has since taken a job xfer to West Palm Beach and guess what? that's where she is..... hmm.... he says she has nothing to do with his wanting a divorce... but I don't believe him. We have 2 small children 8 and 4 and my girls think he's the cats meow. I love this man, I have been with him since I was 16 years old. I have been a stay at home mom for the past 5 years and I have done everything in my power to try to make the relationship work but he wants out. I am so devestated and depressed. I have been with him for so long I have no idea what to do with myself. I know I have to be strong for my girls but it's hard. I have depended on this man for everything in my life and now I have to do it all myself. Our home is on the market for sale.. the market is slow. I am going to stay w/ family to get back on my feet and he promises when the house sells he is going to pay off all of our bills and give me the remaining profit. I want to believe him, and I don't think he'd ever do anything intentional to take anything away from the girls but I am scared of what may happen. we don't have any extra $$ so we have to wait for the house to sell so we have the $$ to pay for the divorce which is $900.00. I have written up a contract with everything he has agreed to and he is willing to sign it in front of a notary. I just wonder if it would hold water if for some reason he did decide to become evil and go back on his word.... it is a written and signed contract, I would think that it would hold him responsible.... does anyone know??? 

Name: Peppers39 | Date: Aug 14th, 2007 3:41 AM
Oh boy did this site hit home. Married now 16 yrs. Two boys, ages 4 & 8. Caught my husband having an "emotional affair" with my "good friend" Now he is the one telling me he doesn't know how he feels about me anymore and wants to separate to decide if he wants to continue the relationship. Well isn't that a slap in the face. Seems like the majority here say to let him go and have courage to stand on your own. He does agree to see marriage counselor, however, separation is his major goal not reconcilliation................. walking around in limbo. Any comments appreciated. 

Name: Marissa | Date: Aug 15th, 2007 3:59 PM
It's comforting to know that there are groups like this where we can share our grief and confusion, but disheartening to know that there are so many women out there going through this. What's wrong with men! My husband of almost 13 yrs. recently moved out of state for a job, me and my 2 girls (7 & 11) were going to follow as soon as we sold the house. First he came home and said he wasn't happy and "something" was missing, then he didn't love me, then he hadn't love me for a long time. But all the while he still wants me to uproot the family and move to the state where he is. Now he says he cares for me deeply, but he'll divorce me whether I stay where I am or once I move to the new state, he'll wait until I get on my feet and find a job and friends and then he'll divorce me. But we'll still be living close to each other for the girls sake. Like a move to a new state and their parents divorce isn't going to bother them! I'm seeing a counselor here, and he starts seeing one next week. I'm hoping his counselor knocks some sense into him. Do these men really think that it's bells and fireworks all the time in a marriage? There are highs and lows in all marriages, and you stick with each other through the lows to reap the rewards of the highs. If anyone wants to chat I'd love to get some perspective. [email protected] 

Name: The Man | Date: Aug 26th, 2007 7:25 AM
You have the women's perspective, now look from my angle.
I feel like just leaving my wife. I don't look forward to meeting her anymore. All we do is argue and break stuff. I don't like to argue and I don't want to hurt her. But I'm just not happy with this at all and I want out. We don't have any children. We've known each other for ten years, married for five years. I don't want to go to bed because she's there. She's from Germany and she doesn't like the USA. She complains about everything and it's a real downer. She says it helps her feel better but, I feel like I just want to go. Leave my ring on the coffee table and get in my car. I don't care about our joint account, she can have it all. I just want the car and my clothes. Nice small apartment without anyone disturbing me about my taste in music, video games, having a beer in the morning, or asking about plans for next year.
Looking back, I have more fun while I was single, lonely at times but at least no one was nagging me about my stuff or hanging out with my few friends. I'm constantly tiptoeing around her. She gets mad over the smallest things. Things like, a car ding, scratch in the wooden floor, or just hanging out. It's not the same, it's been like this for about six months now.
I'm tired of being married. I want out. 

Name: denise | Date: Sep 3rd, 2007 12:53 PM
My husband and I have been married for two years together for 7 total. I was a bad person to him the first five years of our relationship. Last March, he left. We saught counseling and he moved back in after 8 weeks. He has two children. We have none together. He has told me recently that since he has been back he is unable to recipricate the same feelings that I have for him. He say he loves me but is not in love with me. I made alot of changes for myself to make me a better person. He just doesn't feel the same since last year. He has chosen to confide in other woman behind my back and of course i have found out twice and chosen to forgive him twice. Now it has come to the realization of separation, divorce or living together and seeing what happens. Any advice? He doesn't know what he wants or why he feels this way. I can't imagine my life without him or the kids. He is unwilling to attend counseling again. I do love him, unfortunately unconditionally. 

Name: lisa | Date: Sep 10th, 2007 1:31 AM
my husband has put me through hell. It's not enough time to give all the details. No he's not physically abuseive. But can make you feel 2'' tall with words. He has consistantly sad he wants me to leave and I do nothing for him, so he doesn't need me. I of course have always tried to keep us together. Now I'm starting to feel depressed all the time. I'm on medication already. He may say five words to me in one week. He only answers in three words or less and to top if off has a angry tone. However, when talking to anyone other than me he's fine. What should I do? And how do I do it? 

Name: tammy | Date: Sep 17th, 2007 1:31 AM
Tell him to kiss your butt!!! You don't need that! Be a good mom and good example and let him go. 

Name: lisa | Date: Sep 19th, 2007 9:28 AM
i would like to talk about marrage 

Name: jane | Date: Sep 24th, 2007 2:15 AM
some yime it dose notwort being with him so lethim go 

Name: wendy | Date: Sep 24th, 2007 2:21 AM
sit like two adult and try to see if thing could work out then if you realy can work out it then so be it it will de hard but there is nothing you can do 

Name: patricia | Date: Sep 24th, 2007 3:58 PM
hi there, i just turned 35, and my fiance (43) decided he wanted out of our relationship 6 weeks ago. the day before my birthday. we have a beautiful 2 year old daughter together, and i've been a stay at home mom to her, while he attends photog school. he was in the corporate world making 170k and now for the past two years, since the birth of our daughter has lived off savings. he didn't want me to stay at home with her, but to work while he went to school. the only thing was, i'd work a job that would basically cover childcare. so that didn't make sense to me. why pay for someone else to care for our daughter? he hasn't been happy with this at all and over time it's eaten away at him. he say's i've ignored his needs and he's not in love with me anymore. i'm still in the house with him, and think i should ask my family to help get me out of here. he served me papers in our home and i now have a restraining order to not leave the state. should i get my own place right away? he wants me to stay here for now with our daughter, so we can work things out that works for all of us. parenting plan etc.... oh, he's asked 50/50 custody, but say's that's not what he wants really. he hasn't spent any time with her really. twice to the park and once to the zoo and then family holiday stuff, but other than that, it's been all school, his new friends and photog. i just don't know where to start!!!! 

Name: ataloss | Date: Sep 24th, 2007 6:43 PM
my husband has told me within the last month that he is not in love with me anymore we have tried talking he breaks down and cries sometimes he says he wants to make it work for the kids but that he has felt this way for about 7 years and he is fed up he is tired of trying but yet he tells me to make him love me again, be myself, have fun, be happy and maybe things will rekindle he doesn't want me to show him affection he says he crings to my touch unless we are having sex which he says he feels guilty doing because he doesn't love me. HELP!!!!!! 

Name: Netty | Date: Sep 27th, 2007 5:44 PM
I knoew this had happened to others, but so many of you. We'd moved abroad for the dreamlife. before everything was wonderful, I was recovering from breast cancer and he truly loved me. 2.5 years on and after 23 years together, he says he no longer loves me and wants to separate. He said he's been feelin like this for several months, but has been masking his feelings by blaming it on the stress of building the house. As with another before me, it does coincide with our only neighnour separating from her husband. I truly don't think there is anything going on, but by separating from me it opens up the possibility. I'm just 40 and feel like my life is ending 

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