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Name: adgt1987
[ Original Post ]
I met my husband when I had just turned 15 and he had been 15 for about 6 months. We were friends at first then we started to date. We had small ups and downs while we were dating. We got marred when I was 19 and he was 20. He was in college and I was in high school before we got married I had graduated high school and was in college and he was still in college when we got married. He worked when we got married and I didn't. I supported him emotionally and I always gave him encouragement. He never encouraged me to go to college. I went with him the day he signed up for college and he didnt come with me when I signed up for college. He finally graduated college and got a better job. I wasnt working for about a year and half when he got his better job. The reason I didnt work is because I was going to school full time and if anyone has went to college full time then you already know you dont have time to do anything but study and do papers and homework. Well at the beginning of the next semester he sets up for me to have an interview with one of his friends wifes jobs. Which turned out bad becuase her dad owned the place and she treated me like shit. Plus I was sexual harrassed by one of the older men that work there. I would come home crying ever night plus after working 9 to 10 hours out of the day I had to try and focus on doing homework for 4 full time classes. How was I suppose to juggle both. I told my husband that I wanted to quit and he told me that I couldnt even though I had just gotten sexual harrassed. He didnt care at all. Well he said he did but he didnt try to help me or give me some encourgement. Well I took a day and went and found another job without him knowing. I got the other job and he was pissed at me because it didnt pay as much as the other job and didnt give me as many hours as the other job. I told him this job would work better with my schooling. He didnt care. So I ended up falling all of my classes because of the first job which had already took a toll on my grades then I had to ask for more hours at this new job to try and reach what I was making. What kills me is that he makes enough to were I would only have to work like 20 hours out of a week and we would be set. He dosent care that I havenet gotten to go back to school. He didnt even saying anything to me when I didnt sign up for the next semester term. When I try to voice to him how I feel he gets mad at me and says he is just going to back to work. This leads me to my other points. I work about 40 hours a week and he works about 50 a week. He never comes onto me. I am always the one coming onto him. I have had numerous talks with him and he say that there is something wrong with me. Like I just have a high level of sexual stuff in me. He doesnt think there is anything wrong with him. I want a man to love on me and caress me, touch me for god sake. Have sex with me. I am so tired of coming home and eating dinner and watching tv. Give me some love da** it!! I am always trying to kiss him or love on him. This brings me to another point. I am getting feelings of wanting to cheat on him. I am gusesing that the only reason I want to is to get some attention from a man. I am 21 and my husband just turned 22, we are still young and I feel like I am wasteing it away in a dead end marrage. We dont have any kids. I feel like I want to leave but I cant live on my salary. I even asked my mother if I could come home and she told me no. I have no were to go but to stay in the cold bitter marrage that I am being to hate. I feel like there is no hope for me. I feel like me and him are best friends and not lovers. I have tried to voice all of this to him but he will come back saying "Well I guess I am just not good enough for you" which is what he always says. I am so tired of this. I dont want to be with someone who doest want to have sex with me. NO I am not a big fat cow either. He tells me sometimes that I am pretty and sexy but he wont come onto me. I asked him why he doenst come onto me and he said well I dont know when you are horny. I told him well I dont know when you are horny but I come onto you anyways. Then he says ya I know you do and I am not horny and I told him ya but I get you horny then the converstion just drops. I feel like he doesnt care about me. I feel like he thinks my life ambitons are not as important as his life ambitons.
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Name: xxx34 | Date: Aug 24th, 2009 11:22 AM
My dear, I find myself in a similar situation. And I would just like running away from him. Unfortunately, I am not as young as you are, but you still have time to change a lot of things! And I know that people do not really want to help giving advices.
My advice to you: FOCUS ON YOUR STUDIES! Then find a new job, become independent. Don"t expect moral support from your husband, and from nobody else, this might not happen and will bring you down even more. Take care of your health, continue studying as hard as you can, then you will become even more confident and things will become better! It is very seldom that a husband changes, (there is a saying: The wolf renew his hair but not the habits!). And do not forget: everybody can be replaced!
Sorry for my english. Anyway, I hope you can understand what I meant.
Again: focus on your studies, make sacrifices for studying! There is nothing wrong with you! You are not egoist in a relationship and your husband took advantages of this. He sees you are weak, sensible, not confident and easy to manipulate.
OK, maybe he is a nice guy but with the head in the sky. Still, you have also the right to live your life in a pleasant manner.
Study, be confident, strong and keep fighting! Let nobody distroy you.

Good luck! 

Name: babygirl | Date: Feb 21st, 2010 2:48 AM
hello 

Name: Husband | Date: Jun 2nd, 2010 1:10 AM
Its a 2 ways street. I work hard 7 days a week and bring home a large check. I expect the wife can work at home with the kids and keep a clean house. No one is perfect but I think trying and understanding us a little makes us feel good. Like, you really worked hard this week and thanks. Its a big headache worrying about, will I have enough money for the bills and things. It ticks me off when the house is a mess and sleeps in everyday and maxs out the visa every month. 

Name: MISTYTIME | Date: Jul 10th, 2010 4:39 AM
Wow, ur so yng into ur marriage. I totally understand. My husband wks like 24/7 at his paying job and on our house and land. The not attention as I call it started about 3 mos. after we moved intogether. He has two kids and I have one. It sucks, trying to find time together. I have hope, so that's what I suggest to you. Obviously u loved something in him. Cling to that and have hope, stay persistant, chin up type deal. What is meant to be will be, hand in there and have hope.. 

Name: MISTYTIME | Date: Jul 10th, 2010 4:44 AM
Ok, after reading xxx34's post, I really agree, was just trying to stay positive. confidence is the key, very true. I understand husbands post also and feel for him and all the men that carry that burden, it is alot, as I used to be a single mom. Try to put urself in his shoes, be paitent, study. When u get a degree and are more independent, he will either come around or his loss, it sucks but thats life, chin up. 

Name: Stevo | Date: Oct 16th, 2011 1:05 AM
Friend,
Read " The Love Dare".
He will change....YES 


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