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Name: dab | Date: Jan 29th, 2009 5:17 PM
My wife and I known each other for 15 years and have been married 7. Our relationship has slowly eroded over the years. First, it was the sex, and now she is emotionally 'checked out'.
She said last Sunday that she just doesn't love me the way she used to. I can see her leaving at anytime, like a freight train ready to run me over, and there is nothing I can do. I'm just overwhelmed by all this and is hard to process. I checked the Web browser history and it is full of aparment searches and dating service searches. I have to let he go, but it is very hard. 

Name: Roxanne | Date: Feb 27th, 2009 3:58 PM
Why don't you give her flowers or serenade to her? 

Name: Stephanie | Date: Mar 17th, 2009 5:14 PM
I have read this even though I am not married I still feel I have no love for the person anymore.I know but it will get better maybe she just wants space and time away she will come cause she knows what she was missing all along 

Name: Rich | Date: Mar 26th, 2009 6:46 AM
I caught my wife cheating on me, she shes it's just chatting. How can I believe this? She finally has said the are marriage has been bad a kong time. I am not or have been a good husband. I took her for granted. I had my eyes openned finally when I found she was cheating. I love her more than ever and I don't want to lose her, what can I do? I would do anything to keep my family together. She agreed to go to counseling, but I think there going to tell her why did she stay so before now. We have been together 19 and she said I was wasted her time and didn't want to waste anyone. She has put up with me many times. The illnesses and abusing precription medication.
We just stopped talking and our sex was few and far between. Sometimes things didn't work in that way. She said it didn't matter to her and now she says it matter. I tried to do my best to always doing things for when I could not. 

Name: B | Date: Apr 20th, 2009 12:58 PM
I have been married to my wife for 12 years and this past year has been the worst of them all. My wife wants a divorce we been seprated for almost a year now and i have been trying everything i can think of to get her back but she just dont want me no more. I just dont understand she got me thinking crazy now is she with someonelse or something, i married her when i was 19 yrs old i been with her every since my 9th grade yr of school. but im starting to qwestion if she ever did want to be my wife, the reason i say that is because she told me she has been out of love with me for years, and the only reason i think she was wit me was for citizen ship she is from trinadad and was on the verg of gettin deported,and said she was gonna marry someone to get her citizen ship me loving her the way i did i offerd to do so after i graduated so she wouldnt marry someonelse i would have done it eventually but not that soon if the circumstances was differnt, i believe she doesnt know any better cuz thats what she knows her mom left her dad once they moved to u.s and her sister married a guy from high school just to be divorced also from her husbandl. am i wrong for feeling this way? and what should i do about her wanting divorce, should i just go ahead with it or keep trying to get her back? need some good advice i am really hurting over this citiuation 

Name: michael | Date: Apr 20th, 2009 6:11 PM
i love my wife and my kids w r not geting along and i ave not seen my kids in almost 2 months im going nuts been out of work is y she dont want me so i guess all she wanted was my money she stole my w2s and filed my taxes and put the money in her maddin name and im pissed as hell she will not give me a dime and she lets her family smoke pot around my kids ive called dcfs they did nothing i called the ploice they didnothing i have no money and i feel like there is no place here for me im lost and we fight all the time she was my world now i want to just fall off the planet and no one wants to point me in the right direction someone please tell me what i need to do im a cdl driver and i can not fid any thingfor work i live in chicago 


Name: David | Date: Apr 27th, 2009 7:02 PM
I am going through the same thing, my wife tells me she may have feelings for someone else and she loves me but not in love with me. I am finding it hard to function. I have contacted my pastor to talk I hope it helps. 

Name: Mandie | Date: May 2nd, 2009 3:32 PM
you should let her go just go on with your own life do not show your sadness when around her visit your kids often and she let her see that she is loved by leting her go you know the old saying if you love them let them go mybe in time she will come around . 

Name: rancy | Date: May 2nd, 2009 7:38 PM
im looking for a person that always understand me that person that can always read my mind

pm me here sweetrancy AT Y.A.H.O.O. DOT COM 

Name: john | Date: May 3rd, 2009 3:34 PM
Let her go trust me I been there if you get back with her you will argue more than ever she will make your life trouble 

Name: rock | Date: May 7th, 2009 2:56 AM
Never give up let her know how much you love her but back off. i been with my wife 13yrs.Four years ago my wife told me she wasnt inlove with me anymore. I wasnt there for her at her worst she was wright. I thought along as i worked and came home every day and didnt fight with her we be ok .I left out those little things she love so much. So what mean by never giving up is how much do you really love your wife.me and my wife are not together we just seperated two days ago for a second time.I been doing this for four years.Just let her know your there for her and your daughter. no matter what. 

Name: Johnee S | Date: May 15th, 2009 9:19 PM
Recently my Wife of 14 years together for 16 years with 3 kids dauhter 15, sons 8 and 5... has decided to seperate. She's nto been happy for the last 2 years she informs me, somewhat of a shock since we have been having communication break down, crappy work schedules, and he online relationship to deal with (which is still going on).

When I met her 17.5 years ago i told everyone I knew she was the one and i would marry her, who would have thought 3.5 years later it would be my reality. She made me into the man I am today and i thank her for it. I love her deeply, even more then she is willing to see. She claims her feelings romantically are gone and that she does not want to make an effort to work on the relationship except for the kids sake, but we both know where that would end up right?

I am hoping she gives couples and family as well as individual counselling a go, with this other guy who lives 1000 miles away whom she never met and tried to hook up with last month while she traveled with one of her closest friends whom did not know what was going on... ya pretty dark picture. They met ina video game of all things.

I'm not perfect I'm a man which by default am bound to screw up from time to time. Just would have been nice to know how much it affected our relationship form her point of view. I've always been persistant and tried to keep things smoothed out. She left 4 days ago staying at a mutual friends place for a few weeks, the kids are taking it hard especially our daughter. Sadly she still stays in contact with this online bf of hers which makes reconsiliation all the more difficult as he is a predator feeding her anything he can to keep her intimately attracted to him.

he could not meet her on the trip since customs denied him entry due to his criminal record he's married and divorced twice for his cheating and has a 14 yr old son.

he is a compulsive alcolohic, honestly what good would this guy be for her. he's 43 she's 36; he thought she was a single 28 yr old DJ with no kids or hubby until i called him up and dropped the bomb on him. Since then he's been even more needy and manipulative. As much as i know i have to let her go, i am compelled to find some way to work on things. With what I've been reading I need to let her go and move on. The cards are stacked against our marriage our 14th anniversary is this coming August... he B-day is at month end... I work more am more involved witht he kids to keep my mind occupied but I can never get her out of my head, I thought I had it bad for her before but now I know what i feel is real and I want my faith and believe to be enough to not quit. 

Name: ben J. W. | Date: May 25th, 2009 8:08 AM
my wife told me that she was going to a friends house with my son an then sent a message that she wanted to split. she says i cheated on her but i dont have the time i wish i did. i miss her and my son i thought about killing myself but then i heard about pre-paid legale now all i can think about is getting my son back. 

Name: rylee | Date: Jun 12th, 2009 3:15 PM
my dad is going through the same problem! my mom last night said she didnt no why she was with me and my father... im 11 and i feel horrible! i think my dad and i are leaving her..... im soo depressed too! so u no u have someone out there thats having the same prblem... im sorry for you... 

Name: AP219 | Date: Jun 16th, 2009 12:49 AM
as you can imagine im going thru da same thing my wify of 16yrs soon to be 17 on agust6 told me the she want out i ask her why she claims that i took her for granted i was always @ work and never took really care of her ... but thats not initially true i belive i did the thing i had to took care of her emotionally sexually and financially so this kinda hit me like a bomb .. i talk to her but its like she has build a wall she tell me she dont want to hear it any more and that if we try to work thing out it would all just go back to the all Bs .. i love my wify i miss her i feal like a part of me is dying wat can i do ... 

Name: Brian | Date: Jul 3rd, 2009 6:30 PM
Look we are individuals in relationships with people we care about. But at the end of the day you've got to take care of your own mental stability. We may have kids and family who depend on us but regardless if we are not mentally tough and healthy we won't be able to get through any divorces or separations.

So many people have nailed it here - you can't control your partners emotions. In many cases the person who is leaving is the person with the problem so don't blame yourself. You can only control yourself and your life.

What makes things difficult is the lying and cheating that goes on for weeks, months and sometimes years. For me this is the most difficult part to deal with but I survive knowing that I have a clear conscious and I am not to blame for my partner cheating on me.

My wife has gone through some ups and downs in her life and blames me time to time for her emotional downside as well as other things too. The hard part isn't hearing this, it's seeing through it and not taking in the negative energy she is forcing on me - especially when I've done nothing wrong to create this emotion. Don't blame yourself (unless you've done something truly wrong - alcholism, cheating, lying etc) because in many cases it is not your fault. People change - sometimes for the worse. 

Name: del boy | Date: Jul 17th, 2009 7:34 PM
has she left yet, or is she still hanging around and taking the piss out of you mate? 

Name: rodney | Date: Jul 17th, 2009 7:56 PM
sorry Dave about my brother Del boy, he is so heartless sometimes. But he's got a lot of experiance with women like your wife. You see Del boy has five kids with four women ...one called Leroy ( black wife), another called sanjay (Pakistini wife) another two called Hoi sin and soya sauce ( Chinese wife ), and finally Bruno who's just made his first Hollywood film. Del boy could not keep any of them but he still has his wonderful black, pakistani, chinese and homosexual kids. He loves them all so so so much. So be greatful that your wife gave you sex and a daughter at least. AMEN 

Name: Mark | Date: Jul 25th, 2009 7:03 PM
Stand for you marriage
Look at this web site it's help me with Mine
Try to look within yourself draw closer to God
Www.rejoiceministries.org 

Name: Mark | Date: Jul 25th, 2009 7:05 PM
Good books to read to help you understand
Her feeling is The Walk Out Women
I Do Agian
Have faith God Is With You 

Name: Junior from PR | Date: Aug 16th, 2009 12:35 AM
Hello, I was just recently told by my wife that she does not love me, she cares about me. I am currently loosing my mind.......... some one help me please!!! She says that she does not want me to leave but i do not know if i should continue together. I would like to win back her love and affection but i do not know where to start! I'm a man who is hopelessly in love. She also told me that this did not occurred overnight ad that she had given me signs and now i am totally lost............ HELP!!!! 

Name: Tim | Date: Aug 17th, 2009 6:05 PM
My wife and I have been married for 2 yrs and been together for 3. We have a beautiful daughter together. I found out last week that she has cheated on me with the same guy 3-4 times in the last month or so. She now says that she still loves me, but she has not been In Love with me for almost the last two years. I kind her out of the house becuase of her cheating, but am considering taking her back under some extreme conditions to make sure that this doesn't happen again. i don't want to take her back becuase she has nowhere to go. I will only do it she wants to truly put in the hard work to make our marriage work. Is it Over? What should I do? 

Name: ramin | Date: Aug 27th, 2009 12:50 AM
I been going threw the same thing. If she does not want to talk about it, she is having an affair. My wife finally got caught after a year and half. I knew it but she would not for the love of god admit to it. It might be as simple as a online emotional thing right know, but it will turn into more. 

Name: ramin | Date: Aug 27th, 2009 12:54 AM
Read 2 books one is called A WOMENS INFEDELTY, the other is THE DIVORCE REMEDY 

Name: john | Date: Sep 24th, 2009 4:23 PM
hi read all the comments thaught i was alone your not alone. loads of couples brake up all the time just your in your own little bubble.my partner finished our relationship after 18 years i was gutted tryed everything to win her back .txt .emails. phone calls .romantic meals. flowers ect .agreeing with every thing she said.never cheated on her .i was a good guy its allways the good guy that gets sh#t on. said she wanted time to enjoy her self{never bin single for along time] she is 43 time to be setterling down i think.i moved out of house now shes drinking all the time going out till 6 in the morning differnt boyfreinds.i felt life carnt go on thinking how should i do IT. lucky my steplad come in and cumferted me. this happend 3 months ago .now i getting over it well i am over it its her lose not mine 

Name: Richard-C | Date: Oct 17th, 2009 11:33 PM
Hi everyone who reads this, this post has been going for quite some time!

The situation-
Im in my late 20s, i have 3 beautiful children with my ex, we had been together for nearly 9 years, not married, just couldnt afford it but it was on the cards, we have only just broke up.

I dont understand fully what to do really, she has told me that nothing has changed after giving me another chance, that im very insecure, that i dont know when to let up, that i keep going on and on at her about things that she doesnt seem to think are relevant that she doesnt care about, like if guys proposition her online, she just laughs it off, but i dont, i feel afronted by it, that it was somehow disrespectful to what we had and they should know thats how i feel. that im too harsh on the kids (i dont hit them but i do more discipline and praise) and i dont do enough with them, i concentrate too much on the practicalities with the kids instead of their emotions and getting more involved in their day and their needs, she says that i am a different person, that we have both grown into different people and want different things, she wants to get back into work start driving and better her family, im scared of going back to work (i have taken nearly 3 years off being in work to look after her while she has been very ill with depression and the physical issues of a failed epidural in the birth of our last child) i dont know why i am scared, i think its maybe complacency. she says i dont want these things that i am stuck in the past clinging on to what has happend before and not letting it go (we have had problems before where we have taken short breaks, whether it be frustration with me or to be single for a while...) but we always seemed to work it out and i mean we lasted 9 years nearly of working it out. She says the person i have become she doesnt feel inlove with anymore and doesnt want to try to keep our relationship together when the person ive become doesnt make her happy, this in part i agree with, but, i disagree that i have become this and thats it, ppl change, ppl grow. i sincerely believe that with time and adjusting my attitude to how my insecurites have affected me before, and just dropping it and moving on like any other normal emotionally healthy person would, that by doing that its the path to healing and will bring back some of what she fell in love with.

I want to understand something and maybe someone will reply, when she says that she cant be with me, that she cant just keep trying to make it work when im not changing, and then says she isnt in love with me, am i reading into this wrong? i see it as that the way i am is making her believe that she isnt in love with me, that being with me how i am now, is something not worth fighting for, but should i do the right thing and change be better about me, stop being insecure stop holding onto the past, be a better father, not just for the sake of our relationship but for myself and my 3 children, that she may fall for me again? or is this it? its over and there is no going back.

she says right now that this is permanent, she doesnt want me, she doesnt want anyone else (although she gets propositioned she just acts nice about it rather than going "yeh ok lets do something" she just says haha or lol thats nice or funny...i dont believe there is a hidden agenda into getting me out and moving another man in but i cant help but be scared of this) that she wants to be a single mum, even with the medical problems that she still has and the fact that she is still on anti-depressants, that her life is so unhappy right now that there is no going back and the only way forward is a full clean break and keeping it that way, im not willing to lay my cards on the table here and say "you arent ever what i want" its why im confused, she has tried, and has now given up, wants to be alone, says the she loves me, and cares about me but isnt inlove with me and its permanent, confused but trying to understand and get my act together.

So this was my plan, right now im still living with her, tho reluctantly for her, its making it emotionally difficult for her to accept that we are over for good and for her to move on, she says she has accepted it cos its what she wants but she cant get on with her life cos im still her, but she lets me stay out of caring for me i believe, i see that innitially this is my chance to start doing some right in my life and the kids life and an opportunity for her to see these changes at ground zero, i want her back, i am so utterly devastated by whats happend but i understand mostly why and what i need to do. i feel im doing the right thing, im a fighter, i wont give up on us, even tho right now im sat here pouring this out to you and she is lay in our bed and ill be on the couch, the fact she says she loves me and cares for me makes me believe this, the way i am isnt worthy of her being inlove with me, but maybe, the way i become could allow her to show the feelings of being in love again, start afresh, not go back to what we had before, let the past stay where it is, remember the great times learn from the bad ones and leave them at that. by making a new start in my life, for my kids and to be a better person i feel that i could win her back, not that shes some sort of trophy but should competition arise i will fight tooth and nail to show her im the one, not some other guy, im the father the partner that she truly wants. am i wrong for doing this after you have read what you have so far? am i deluding myself in thinking that her being inlove with the true me hasnt totally died out but she cant be inlove with this me i have been like? i hope not. my family is my centre, im inlove with her, always have, theres never been anyone else ever. she is my heart my kids make it beat and nothing will change that. we used to say we were soulmates, we used to tell eachother i love you more today than i did yesterday but not as much as tomorrow, somewhere along the line i lost sight of saying this and showing her what soulmates as we are should be like, i let myself be clouded by fear of the past and my insecurites from when we broke up and insecurities from when other men get in contact with her on a networking site we use, they are just old school friends at the end of the day is what she would tell me.

i need to learn to control my emotions infront of her and the kids now, its so hard to be strong when i feel my universe has collapsed, but i have to learn, this is something i feel i am going to need help with, aswell as learning how to leave the crap in the past. as for how i will change with my kids, thats already happening, i am being more attentive to their needs, not just the practicalities, but im trying my hardest to be supportive to them in what is happening as we told them instead of hiding it, my little boy (hes 8) broke down, he understands alot more than i think my ex gives him credit for, so its him that i have been talking with alot on how things will change in me, showing him how much i care for all of them, my ex included, and altho my ex doesnt agree with this, and part of me can see why, telling him that no matter what i will never give up, telling him that right now mummy wants to be apart from me and that its because she needs to be happy again an that im going to try to make us a family again, even tho right now mummy doesnt want it, that in the end i will always keep trying to be a happy family again, hes obviously scared that im going to not be here one morning, and that he wants all this to just stop, so i am trying to do the right thing and give him hope, she says to stop doing that cos what do i do if it doesnt work? this i agree with but it only reinforces my belief that i can change for the better for us all and be a family once more, in fresh start with new found love.

so my advice to others is this.

if your situation is anywhere similar to mine, take on board everything your ex is telling you, knowledge is power, i feel damn lucky to have this knowledge, she could have just told me to go, and left it at that, but she didnt so im now using this aswell as the fact im still around for my kids and she is being caring enough to put a roof over my head until i find somewhere else (if i need to that is) to fight my corner, be better as a person, happier, have some ME and not just the kids and her, become empowered by knowledge and know that if its worth it, then never give up. Love is a powerful thing, if you love someone you have to let them go sometimes, if they truly love you, they surely will come back. she says she loves me, may not be inlove with me, but if she is, im letting her go now just as much as she is letting what ive become go too, if we love eachother it must work out right? keep fighting.

Richard 

Name: Richard-C | Date: Oct 17th, 2009 11:47 PM
im just further quoting this because after reading it that it doesnt seem clear so ill explain

"so i am trying to do the right thing and give him hope, she says to stop doing that cos what do i do if it doesnt work? this i agree with but it only reinforces my belief that i can change for the better for us all and be a family once more, in fresh start with new found love. "

By giving my children hope that i will fight for our future she believes that it isnt fair because if it doesnt work they will only be more crushed by it and its like false hope because of how she feels right now, but the way im using what she has said is that there is consideration to the fact of a future as a family, she doesnt know if its what she will want, which i think subconsiously is also like saying altho who you are now is permanent, who you were before and who you become could be something to consider, no one surely wants to be a single mum afterall, so if you can see that a person who you were with before, have children with have a history with and she is still attracted to me, would be a possibility, its food for thought when you are being told its over, its permanent and they arent inlove with you anymore. 

Name: i play club penguin | Date: Oct 21st, 2009 9:28 PM
club penguin rocks 

Name: billblow | Date: Nov 23rd, 2009 5:48 AM
THere is nothing you can do. You cannot make someone love you. Women are the worst for doing this to a man that truly loves them. I dont know why. 

Name: dominic | Date: Dec 9th, 2009 4:02 AM
well, my wife is fat and she said she hates me and she only gives me like 2-3 blowjobs a week! plus she wont get me ccookies and milk right now, yes. shes a fatty.com 

Name: Ken | Date: Jan 2nd, 2010 6:39 PM
I think modern women have too much power in relationships. The fact they can break up a family because they are not feeling happy and often are unwilling to try to make it better. Men seem to be more often willing to try and work at it. A man can work and pay for the house and cars and insurance, show his wife tenderness and care and it amounts to nothing in the wifes eyes. Then when she leaves she gets alimony and the kids and often the house. It is very unfair to men I think.

I am in a worrying position right not and I am afraid I am going to lose my children and home because my wife only ever sees problems in me. She never sees her own problems. It is always me. Sorry this is not helping you really. Venting i guess. 

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