|Name: Ken | Date: Jan 2nd, 2010 6:39 PM
|I think modern women have too much power in relationships. The fact they can break up a family because they are not feeling happy and often are unwilling to try to make it better. Men seem to be more often willing to try and work at it. A man can work and pay for the house and cars and insurance, show his wife tenderness and care and it amounts to nothing in the wifes eyes. Then when she leaves she gets alimony and the kids and often the house. It is very unfair to men I think. |
I am in a worrying position right not and I am afraid I am going to lose my children and home because my wife only ever sees problems in me. She never sees her own problems. It is always me. Sorry this is not helping you really. Venting i guess. ↑
|Name: steve | Date: Jan 10th, 2010 10:35 PM
|Hi ive been married 20 years since we were 20 and been with my wife since we were both 15, we have 2 kids 19, 15. the child who was 15 had major heart surgery twice and other problems and we fought together to keep her alive and positive. Today she is still not completely fixed but she is strong and relatively fit. She is an A student and has a wide circle of friends. 3 months ago my wife said she didnt love me anymore and that she had kissed someone else twice and felt she had missed out on her youth. We are in crisis and likely to be split having been soulmates for 25 years since our last year in secondary school. She is glamarous, carefree and very fit and i hold a directorship in a blue chip company am slightly overweight but happy. I think she is mad. To confuse things we have been trying to patch things up for a month, i lost weight, got fit and a girl asked me out and now i am involved with her, meanwhile the guy my wife met dropped her quickly when i found out. The crazy thing is i was desperate to put things right, chased her but have now slept with the new girl. My wife wanted out, was dumped by her suitor and now is desperate to make it work.|
I am beginning to laugh about it as i earn 200K a year and has a little part time job paying 10K. Its funny how things turnaround. The strange thing is i still love her as she didnt cheat (but wanted to) and at least she had the guts to tell me.
What am i to do!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ↑
|Name: Jerry | Date: Jan 31st, 2010 11:55 PM
|For your own sanity, you have to let her go...Rejection can cause people to do things that do nothing but hurt everyone involved. Ive been there........and almost went crazy. I found myself, found my strenght back and found someone who will stay with me through anythnig. Suck it up, do something for yourself, and love yourself first. Good luck ↑|
|Name: SAM | Date: Feb 6th, 2010 2:19 PM
|I have been married for two years together for 7 years. We have two children aged 6 and 3. I have been divorced before. My wife says she loves me but not in love with me. I am crazy about her. I am a risk tker and she is not. She says she needs stability ( ie, money to pay bils, health insurance for the family) and that that totally reflecs on our marriage. I am supportive of her career which is 100% commission but she has just started,. she loves it and i know she will do well at it overtime. I have the only household income and continually looking for better career moves. Our money runs out before the month on a regular basis. I feel lonely, i feel Alone in the relationship. A|nd i am crazy in love with her. I present her with a long term goal that may help our families. She gets upset and tells me she cannot believe that i am thinking about opening a business in 2 years when we are flat broke. She admits to not believing in me making something work. An argument follows about believing in each other.I ask her can she be a wife, a best friend and a lover. She says not under these circumstances. This makes me fel like a complete failure even though i am desperately trying to find better careers and changing constantly to meet what she needs. My family is my life and i believe that a strong relationship conquers. Sometimes I even feel like I have lost a piec e of myself along the way. But I am madly in love with her. We are sitting down in the next couple of days to see if we can repair the damage or not. anybody have any suggestions for me ↑|
|Name: Confused | Date: Feb 13th, 2010 3:20 AM
|Hi. I am in my late 20s and in the same situation as everyone here..the only difference is that my wufe and I dont have kids. We are married for 2 years now and has been together for almost 8. A month ago she said she does not love me as a husband but only loves me as a friend. She said that the feelings were gone and does not know if it will come back. She said she wants to be free and explore whats out there, to see if we were really meant for ech other..only to found out that she is entertaining someone else already since last year. She said that the passion was not in our relationship anymore.|
The first year she threatened to have a divorce because she said I was not focused on saving money for our future. I changed and fought for her love eventhough we were at two different countries. She gave me a visit and said to try and fix our relationship and after a month wet back to the states with her. After arriving here Ive been a very good husband,found a job that pays well, and supported everything she wanted. And then she said that eversince she went bacj to our country that the feelings not there anymore.
Now i dont know what to do anymore! I have given her everything I have! I love her so much and wull do everything for her love and affection. She said she wants space but feels sad and depressed on what's happening to us.
Please someone anyone give some advice...thanks! ↑
|Name: chellielpn | Date: Feb 28th, 2010 1:49 AM
|my husband of 19 years just told me he needs his space. He says he loves me but not in love with me. He is keeping everything all bottled up. we have 2 teensagers together and he loves us but not enough to stay. we have been together for 23yrs. he was my high school sweetheart. i am moving to my moms with my kids and he is going to his grams. i dont know what to do. it feels like my world is falling in around me. everyone tells me to give him space, but it so hard. he says he just doesnt know anymore. oh did i mention he turned 40 in july ↑|
|Name: RJB | Date: Mar 2nd, 2010 3:02 PM
|Me too! Same thing. Wife of 15 years, 16 months recovered alcoholic seems to have lost her love for me. We have two kids, 12 and 10, they have been through hell with her drinking, now this on the horizon. She has been willing to go to a marriage counslor and shrink on her own but she admits, she does not want to be with me. I'm coming to the conclusion, if she won't come to the table, there is nothing you can do. I can only control my actions, not hers. ↑|
|Name: hector | Date: Apr 3rd, 2010 6:42 PM
|It is surprising how we are going through the same thing, been with my wife 5 years, 2 little boys, she just told me she doesnt love me and moved out with her mother, she has been mean spirited and does not wants to try anything to work things out, she filed for limited divorce one month after leaving our home, i am devastated, i missed my family what i decided was to let her spread her wings, her mother never liked me so she is no help, but i am hoping that she realizes that in this date and time we should try our best to keep our family unit together, so i will leave her alone and be there for her when she needs me, until i get tired of it ↑|
|Name: Steve | Date: Apr 6th, 2010 11:05 AM
|hi hope u can help me, my wife has left after 16yrs we have 2 children, she says she wants her single life, she says its me she wants to grow old with and when she makes her mind up if she wants to come home she will let me know,not sleeping with other men,she moved away to a flat miles away to be by her friend,i have done everything to stop this as it has been going on for a while now i have helped her out loads and now she is being so nasty to me, what shell i do. i love her so much and want her back. thanks steve ↑|
|Name: Kurt | Date: May 1st, 2010 5:34 PM
|Well lets see... my wife lef,t and she wont give me a reason, she comes buy everyday, we have 3 kids and there 19 16 12. she says she loves me, but there are things she needs to work out. I`m not working right now and we had to move in with my mom. they get along ok, but this isn`t my wifes house, and there is conflicts. I`m wondering if when she says she loves me, she means it, and she is doing this to me to get her her own place or if its an excuse to just leave. she build this wall and just won`t talk to me or her family about what she is feeling. we have been married for 21 years this june, and I just can`t understand why someone can love you, but leave you at the same time. How`s that work. I was taught that you don`t hurt the ones you love. She knows it hurts me that she left. and she says i love you. and shows me that love in all her actions. Anybody have this happen to them. David i feel for you man, do what i have done and allow her to find what ever it is she is looking for. Don`t write bad letter or even guilt trip letters. I believe that Good things take time, and time will make everything good. but you have to swallow your pride and give her what she is asking for. You may not understand like me, but i think it will Pay off in the end.I HOPE! ↑|
|Name: Kurt | Date: May 1st, 2010 5:49 PM
|Bye the way,she just called and said she was make a meatloaf for me and would see me in a few hours, said she loved me. I told her i loved her and asked her if she might consider staying the night. her response was, i can`t to that right now. Question: |
Why the hell did she leave, only diff. is she`s not with me at night and i know she`s at her sisters at night with my 12 year old daughter. even calls me and talks with me on the phone for hours. so i`m sure there is no other guy. why is she gone? what is the reason she left? I`m lost, unless its to get me to get off my ass and find her a house. trouble is she says thats not why she left. Understanding woman is difficult, understanding my wife is impossible. ↑
|I feel ur pain as i am goign thru a horrible separation myself Hi, I have been marrried to my wife for alittle over 2 years and we have been together for 3 years. My wife recently left me and its been 8 weeks since the separation. I agreed to the separation becasue i feel she had every right to leave especially after the last 4 months of hell i put her thru. the first 1.5 years were very good we loved each other very much but problems just started , we argued and fought all the time and be honest that i was the one who always initiated them. The last three months the arguments got worse to the point where i disrespected her , and treated her with so much anger that i feel that was her final straw.. When she left i was angry and blamed her and justified my actions, but now i realize she did nothging wrong, yes my wife is special, a little selfish, spoiled and hard headed, but what woman is not? I trampled all over my wifes emotions and feelings and hurt her dearly and now i am paying for my actions and have noone to blame but myself! I w ant my wife back more than anyything . We have two beautiful girls together and its breaking my heart not haivng them with me every day. WHat is very strange is that my wife initially was talking to me and texting me nad emialing me all the time telling me how much she loved me and even tell me how she was looking forward to us reuniting one day. but after two weeks of this, she started backing off and being distant and cold, when I approched her about this, she plainly told me that it was becasue she realized this needed to be a real separation becasue all the other times we had fights or arguments we pretended nothign happened and moved on and it obviously did not help because we continued having the same issues. I think she got scared or got advice from someone and thought she needed to be alone and have her space to make me think and let her think about all this , becasue if she didnt back off, i would not chnage and continue in same pattern. This pianful event of losing|
my wife has helped me come terms spiritually where i stood in my life and has made me closer to God and build my relationship with him. I believe in marriage and dont want to divorce my wife i love her dearly and love my daughters and hope i can prove to her i am able and capable of being the husband she deserves and want to prove to her that i will and would never treat her like that again. I had the misconception that becasue i didnt cheat on her, didnt hit her, took care of the kids , did not drink, smoke, party with my friends on weekends, i was the perfect husband but i disrespected my wife horribly and dont know if she is now willing to forgive me. I have left her alone and given her her space she asked for the last four weeks. I dont ever hear from her unless its about our daughters. And whenever i do see her to drop off the girls or pick them up, she is very distant and cold and i dont see any love in her eyes all i see is indiference.. I asked her four weeks ago if
she still loved me and us, and her answer was "i dont want to answer that because i dont want it to make that your dteterminant on what you want to do" she has not asked me for a divorce but tells me if i wanted one it was up to me. I asked her if someone has sparked something in her that made her distance herself and she said no, and that all she wants right now is time and sapce to think becasue i have hurt her very much and all she wants to do is focus on our daughters and let God lead her. I dont want to give uop on my marriage and my wife until i hear her tell me one of three things that she does not love me, that she loves someone else, or that she wants a divorce.. I do notice every time i see her she still wears her charm bracelet i gave her on our wedding day and the promise ring i gave her before the separation as a symbol of a promise that i would change and be the man she deserveed. I am in alot of pain right now but i pray for the best .. i am giving her the t ime she needs but i cant wait for an answer forever. i feel that after 90 days would be enough time for her to decide, not if she wants to come back to me, but rather whether she wants to start the rebuilding process of trying to get our marrigae where it needs to be, and to take the first step.. Any advise would be greatly appreciated. Thanks one last thing i am currently in counseling as well and continously go to my church for assistance .." I pary she gives me another cahnce but if not i realize i cant be selfish and becasue i love her i would let her go ↑
|Name: Abhijeet | Date: May 7th, 2010 4:28 PM
|Plz buddy dont let her go.u r so lucky becuz ur wife is wid u but my wife is no more.i luv her so much.i ve a 2 yrs daughter.nw i m her mom and dad.she died last year.but i miss her and cry regularly. ↑|
|Name: Michael | Date: May 16th, 2010 3:50 AM
|This is not an easy thing to deal with, as I'm going through roughly the same thing after thirteen years with my wife. What to do? Show her how much she means to you as a woman--YOUR woman. Moreover, show her that she IS your woman, the only one you value and love and care for. As for my experience at doing this, it's been a limited success; my wife is slowly coming around, though there are times when she is still quite distant and disengaged during our time together. She is thirty-five, has had two children, and I believe her work environment (school teacher with primarily female co-workers) has had a huge impact on her attitude and outlook on life and on our marriage. She had a two-month affair (only kissing, so she says, though I believe more happened), which only stopped because I found out and confronted both parties. Since that time, I've attempted to show my wife how important she is to me. Can I win her back completely? Can you win YOUR wife back completely? Only time will tell. Sometimes an affair or a very timultuous time during a marriage is simply a cry for help from the offending partner--they need something from you, and are so desperate to get it that they seek it out from anywhere possible. But in the end, they only truly wanted it from YOU. I believe you CAN win back your wife--win her with your love, which should be unconditional and real, not cliche or fake. ↑|
|Name: Magiarstor | Date: May 17th, 2010 10:26 PM
|My girl friend and I known each other for 2 years She told me that she do not want me any more becouse I do not care about her. she is doing this for the 4th time, I love her more than anything in this world, she loves me but she does not give me the respect and the comfart that i derserve,I want to give her the best treatment ever treating her like she is my QUEEN but she is tooo much sensitive and she's having this anger, sometimes she bores me but I love her,I never love someone like this she was built for me. I told her that we are born to learn forgiveness.she does'nt want to listen. I dont know if I should keep loving her or should I just let her go.I believe that anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. ↑|
|Name: BasMan | Date: May 18th, 2010 8:51 PM
|My advice...men and women do not think the same way. Everyone deserves to be loved for who they are because one cannot change their fundamental personality. But you can change what you do. In my experience, clingyness, and insecurity are a surefire end to a relationship. If things are on the rocks, all you can do is remind your partner of the reasons they fell in love with you..not by telling them, but by doing them. Societies pressures give all of us unrealistic expectations. If you push, you will only push them further away. IF they are unfaithful, well that's a real tough one, because trust is the most important thing. I've been with my wife for 15years and there have been tough times, we're in one right now. But we're committed to try so I hope things will be better again, but even that is not a guarantee. Don't dwell, don't critisize. Accept your partner for who they are or move on. Men...understand that women's concept of love is much more intangible...they love intrigue, suprises, romance, but most of all they are drawn to confidence. Be those things...and give her time. Its not like a broken machine that you can spend some time on, fix and it's working again. Be strong in your own character. Women...understand that men are far more physical. Love to us is like our favorite armchair. Most of us are pigs in the bedroom. We have trouble understanding why flowers are improtant to you. We look for results from our actions. Good luck to all of you, but don't sacrifice yourself to please someone else, and don't expect someone to do the same for you. If it's over, it's over. Keep your dignity. Be all you can be and be happy with who you are. If you do that, love will find you. If you hunt for it, you will only kill it. ↑|
|Name: geff | Date: May 27th, 2010 3:16 AM
|Name: Shane | Date: May 28th, 2010 4:53 AM
|I would like to see if anyone has been in my current situation or could give some advice please.|
I have been married for 7 years and known my wife for 11 years. We have two young kids. Last year around her birthday she started questioning her life and this marriage. She said she has strong resentments toward her own parents and me and one day after we had an agrument she told me that she doesnt love me anymore. I listened to her complains about me which were not putting our marriage my first priority or taking her for granted, etc and made serious changes about myself. As a result she say that if I have been like this before we wouldnt have been in the current situation. However, she say that she doesnt trust me that I would not go back to what I was before or sometimes she says that she could not love me and its over.
Despite all these, we have a respectful relationship and if i dont question her about our relationship we normally get along well. She does prefer to be alone and spends alot of time reading romance novels which I dont approve of, but try not to complain.
I definately dont want to get a divorce. I want to know what otehr steps could i take to take the current relationship from a cold, unloving but stable relationship to the next level. I am sepcially interested in womens prespective.
I should point out that her bestfriend and her parents are all on my side and thhink that she is over reacting. Also, she has mild deperssion and started to take meds for it
Thanks in advance for ur responses ↑
|Name: Glyn | Date: May 28th, 2010 10:25 PM
|I have been with my wife for 15 years. OK, things have not been great for a bit, but I did what she wanted, I am teetotal, I have lost weight and I spend more time with the kids. 3 months ago she went on a fitness campaign and looks even more beautiful than before.She has booked for her first course of botox, which I have paid for. last week she said that she loves me, but not in love, and we need at least 6 months apart. I am in pieces, but see the majority of the advice is give her space and see what happens. That is the hardest thing in the world when you are in love ↑|
|Name: philip | Date: Jun 22nd, 2010 1:08 AM
|we have been together for 2 year then one day she not want me anymore , i dont have her answer ! ↑|
|Name: Derek | Date: Jun 25th, 2010 4:28 AM
|Name: albert | Date: Jun 29th, 2010 4:10 AM
|Don't try to look for a reason why she's leaving when its right there in front of you .She's finished with the life she has and wants to start a new one .It's not that she doesn't care for you .Trust me , I know .My wife left me and my five kids.It's a very selfish thing that she did and its going to hurt for a long time .Try to focus on your kid and get on with your life.Keep in touch with your friends and family it will help you..Your going to keep repeating the same questions over and over.Try writing down all of your thoughts and questions when you find yourself being repetitive .Eventually your mind will get bored with writing down the same thing and you will stop.Lastly,find yourself and old hobbies to keep you occupied .Pray to God for strength and everything will eventually turn around and someday you will find someone who loves and appreciates you ! ↑|
|Name: NCK | Date: Jul 2nd, 2010 11:31 PM
|Your wife is having an affair. Period. Don't believe anything from anyone that says different. If you guys beat the snot out of each other for 5 years or puked everytime you came into contact with each other, ok...maybe she just had enough, BUT if what you say is true.............SHE IS MESSING AROUND. START SNOOPING AND FIND OUT. ↑|
|Name: ronda | Date: Jul 8th, 2010 1:21 PM
|If she divorces you you are free in the eyes of Christ. Just do not marry another woman that has left her husband, or you would be committing a sin. Do everything you can do to save the marriage. Her telling you she does not love you is emotional abuse. You go see a Christian counselor, whether she wants to be a part of counseling or not. take care of your daughter-independently, and as to how the courts will order. Work every day for the Lord, when you have your daughter in your possession-for visitation, take her to church, find a good Bible based church. Your daughter may when she is 12 years old will decide to live with you. You can date, sure you can when the divorce is final, find a good Christian woman in the church, you will find someone with the guidance of the Holy Spirit. See I divorced my husband, and I am not to remarry, for the man who marries me will commit the sin, so I do not want to cause any man to sin.|
This world is full of divorce, but in God's word he tell us the laws of marriage and divorce, the rules we are to abide by.
Contest the divorce-let the courts know, you stand up and say that you still love your wife, but if she does not love you, if she wishes to break the oneness, you are free from any bondage that society cannot place on you, and you are free to marry if you wish to do so, based on the guidance of the Holy Spirit.
See you just be honest all the way, and be strong, God shall be your strength. You can do this life, we all see our lives pass right before our very eyes.
Yes, the church "the one that Paul established" read the Bible, find out that you are a part of "the church" a part of the one church that Jesus will rapture into heaven, you are there. And your daughter, precious to you, see to her spiritual welfare too. God is the only one to turn to. You can do it. Establish a relationship with Jesus Christ, don't worry about being perfect, we all strive to be perfect everyday. At the end of each day ask God to forgive you of any sins that you have committed, be prepared each night to meet the Lord. Teach you daughter to pray, pray with her, read her the Bible, Bible stories, take her to church to worship the Lord. You can do this. You are not alone, God is real, he is in your heart, I feel that he is. Just make it to heaven, and take your daughter with you. Just be kind to your wife/ex-wife. Ask God to take control of the whole situation, you cannot fix this, God has to. You cannot fix this-just wanted to state that to you again. It is ok, you are going to be just fine in the end. In Jesus name, I pray for you, and I do not even know who you are. May God Bless you til he returns to rapture you and your daughter. ↑
|Name: Ronda | Date: Jul 8th, 2010 1:36 PM
|I have read through a lot of these responses. People let me tell you, God has to be the center of a relationship.. People are getting married yes with the thought of Christianity being important, but people, adults, we are truly letting God pick our mates. |
Women are not to chase men.
Men are to be lead by the Holy Spirit in being BLESSED with the right woman that God has intended for them.
Men once you marry you are responsible for the relationship, this is the Blessing from God.
God gave the design for a marriage, and it should be followed, no if, ands or buts about it.
So, men do not marry a woman who has chased you!!
God does honor the men who love and serve him.
Being married is precious in the eyes of God.
Men, hold out please.
I believe that when a woman chases a man, the women has created a filthy start in a relationship.
Men are to be the hunters not the women.
Men, take it back, back to the word of God, back to the men with the guidance of the Holy Spirit, to have spiritual grounds for the women you marry, and a Godly woman somewhere is waiting on you.
Men stay away from dating sites that say:
woman looking for a man, that is so cheap, God has something richer for you in life in terms of a Godly woman who is waiting for a Godly man. Yes he does. ↑
|Name: chad | Date: Jul 11th, 2010 2:32 PM
|my wife left our home on april 28 this year.We have a son together and he has been with me all this time.She served me with papers in the papers she wants our 12 son back,the home,me to pay her child support,pay half the house payment,and half of her debt.I have an attorney now,what are my chances of keeping our son with me in our home that she left.Can i make her pay child support?I have no wronge doings on paper.never been in truble with the law.She has told everone that I sexly abuse her & mental crulty,still nothing on paper.Just here say.What do yall think,Do i have a good chance of keeping our son and home? Thanks Chad ↑|
|Name: tricky | Date: Jul 17th, 2010 6:45 AM
|sorry to hear that mate, that happened to me 23 year`s ago I did every thing I could the more you try the worse it will get for you, back off give her space, no matter what you do sending flower`s ex will just cost you money which I am sure you could do with out at this time. if there is no one else involved she could be very depressed but does not now it, show her that you care but dont go over the top, the problem is once the legal team get in then it turn`s nasty. my ex now has said after all these year`s the grass is not greener on the other side, and she wishes she never left me I dont feel good about it but we all have to move on, a women is much more stronger than a man. if I new what made a women Tick I would be a millionaire I would write a book. stick with your friend`s keep your head up dont let your self go and start to look good, no women want`s a sorry full man, I wish you all the luck|
tricky, By the way I been married for 20 year,And my wife has just said to me it`s all over LOL this is women so for me if this is what she want`s who am I to stop her , I love her the same as you love your wife but you cannot make them love you.
best regards Trick ↑
|Name: lel | Date: Jul 22nd, 2010 7:55 AM
|my wife left me yesterday ↑|
|Name: harry | Date: Jul 31st, 2010 12:46 AM
|can my father see me in heaven ↑|
|Name: lllllllllllllllllllll | Date: Aug 12th, 2010 6:00 AM
|not going through the same thing yet but my wife says she dosen't love me the same anymore. whatever that means. but were working together now and trying to figure things out. best of luck to everybody. just pray for the best. ↑|
|Name: JAY | Date: Aug 15th, 2010 5:36 AM
|My wife is actually pregnant with our third child and told me the same thing several times throughout our marriage. Thank goodness she has not let left me. For some reason women find that being in love is the end all and be all criteria of whether a marriage should last. It does not matter when in the marriage this occurs or the impact that a divorce will have on the family. Whereas most men have other more serious criteria such as adultry as a barometer as to whether the marriage should be saved. |
This is probably why in Orthodox Judaism and in Islam women cannot file for a divorce. Because if it were up to women their "emotions" and "feelings" would determine whether they should stay in a marriage not other considerations such as saving the family. It is truly disturbing. ↑