I have been married for 6 years, together for 11, have a 3-year-old boy together, I came to the marriage with a girl now 12, and her with a boy now 11. We have always been at odds with respect to the kids, her son is ADHD, and I think I have been too rough on him through the years, I needed to be a step dad and not a tough father, I think she has some deep resentment for me for that. I am going to change that now, I just hope its not too late. We have been going to counseling and I think it is helping, seems to be going ok.
She doesn’t feel like having sex, and I do, she says she isn’t even in the mood for herself, that it’s not me. Should I just wait patiently? I want to fix it now, it drives me crazy. I have read other postings and they suggest backing off giving room and see what happens. I am trying to teach myself that I don’t need her; I want her, wish for her to be a family with me, but not need, seems to be a hard lesson to learn.
Does this reverse psychology work? If she says she doesn’t want sex, should I say "I agree, we should wait awhile and try to wait until it feels right" She says she doesn’t want to make love but she says fu@#%@# is ok at times, but I hate to keep testing the waters.
I found out she has been talking to her 55 year old boss for hours about us, she says he is the one who convinced her to stay and work it out, but I find it strange that she would talk for hours on the phone with this guy about us, it bothers me, but I think I am being crazy maybe. He is a nice guy, he has been to my house and I didn’t suspect anything, just my mind going too fast right now, when someone decides to leave all of the sudden I cant help but think there is someone else.
I am so confused on so many levels, I will do what ever it takes to make it work, but I changed so fast when she said she was going to leave me, she says she doesn’t trust it. I have read to just back off, stop talking about the relationship and just be a good part of it, have an upbeat attitude and try to be happy. I have been trying to make dates, going to the park with our son, but I don’t want to seem pushy, but I do like this side of me better, I now want to change for me, and not just for her, I think she woke me up from not being happy myself. I just want her to love me again, and not sure how I did it in the first place??!! I don’t understand falling out of love; it is pretty unconditional for me.
Allot to say but just needed to say it to someone, somewhere. I have no parents, no friends that want to hear it or know what to say, I have 4 brothers who are a bunch of guys oblivious to things until they are smacked in the face with it themselves, so thanks for listening!! ↓
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