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Name: Lost
[ Original Post ]
I am really at my wits end. Is anyone else involved in a relationship with little kids (4-9 yoa)? I am the unofficial step parent of 5 and 7 year olds. I have essentailly given up the life I once knew for them and I still can't make my partner happy. I take care of them as my own and they barely listen to me. It makes me crazy because the older one is sassy and has an excuse for everything. The younger is whinny and cries about everything. Yet, I have no say in discpline. If I raise my voice, I am the oger. If I don't and something is destroyed, it's my fault. If I tell them to respect their mother, I am told I am too hard on them. My partner rarely sticks up for me or takes my side. She smoothers them with affection, and I am very left out because I am not treated with affection, and lately it has gotten worse. I feel as though no matter what I do I can't make her happy with me. I feel as though I devote myself to them, sacraficing my own happiness, and I don't ever get any alone time. Is anyone else in a situation where the kids limit any sort of "fun adult" time that a person could have? Is anyone else expected to stay at home 24-7 with the kids? Is this even normal?
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Name: Lory | Date: Jan 9th, 2007 4:14 AM
Hi! Have you tried to discuss how your feeling with your partner? Maybe you can hire a sitter and plan an evening alone together. Is your partner home in the eves.? Can she stay with the children while you get some down time? I really suggest you try to have a sit down with her and explain how your feeling. Perhaps she isn't aware of how upset you are. Or...another suggestion would be to find a daycare for a couple days a week. You really should not be feeling like your sacrificing your happiness. I wish I could offer more advice. My child and step-children are not that young anymore. I am sorry you feel this way. Good Luck to you! 

Name: Lost | Date: Jan 9th, 2007 4:49 AM
Lory, thank you hearfelt message. It's REALLY difficult for us to have alone time, sitters are few and far between. I have tried to talk about my feelings (she see's feelings as a weakness), but usually I wind up blowing up b/c I bottle everything up inside unitl it esclates. She on the other hand just withdrawls emotionally. We have a counselor that we speak to, but finicially we have been hit hard in the pocket book the last few months, so going to the counselor has been near impossible. I'm just at a point that I may give up and I hate to say that sort of thing b/c I love this person and it is my intention to be in it for the long run. 

Name: Lizzi | Date: Jan 9th, 2007 3:50 PM
My advice to you is GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN!!!!!!! Or plan to live the rest of your life in this misey!!! (Easy choice if you ask me!) 

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