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Im only 18 years old and married with 2 children; an 1 1/2 year old little boy and an 8 month old girl. I met my husband when i was 16 and got pregnant soon after. We have only been married for a little over a year and already it seems that it is going to come to an end. Him and i have had so many problems its not even funny. See...we both lied to eachother in the beginning and it seems like we just cant get passed that. I lied to him about my past sex life and he lied to me about random things including sex. We both came clean in Feb. of this year and i have kept my promise to be honest with him but he still continues to lie and it has even escaladed to him cheating on me. For the past month and half he had been "dating" his what i would call his exgirlfriend...but to them there is no ex. understand? He's been telling her we're seperated, that we sleep in seperate rooms, we no longer have sex, or anything like that. When i found out he was carrying on the second life he swore he would stop and make things work with us. But today i found out the complete opposite...his aim was on and she asked him why wasnt he at work, which he was, its just i was online. I told her me and him were never seperated and we're still together and carrying on the normal activities a married couple would do. She said i was lying and said that he tells her he loves her. I went out to hes job to question him about it. I did not create a seen...i just waited for him to walk over to me and i calmly stated to him what i found out and that he needs to make a decision bcuz its unfair to me, our kids, and even her. (i figured his job would be a good nuetral setting-to avoid an arguement) and he told me we would talk when he got off. Right now i am so lost becuz it seems like no matter how hard i try he continues to break my heart and all i want to do is have a happy life with him. I dont want a broken home. Can anybody help me. I dont mean to be rambling on its just there is no one for me to talk to. HELP ME PLEASE! ↓
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| Name: Lizzi | Date: Aug 2nd, 2006 3:16 AM |
| You deserve alot better than what he is giving you and you know this. Living a life having to worry and wonder if your husband is being faithful to you or not is no way to live.Your best bet is to get out now before years go by and you're so unhappy and depressed you feel like life's passed you by and you're too old to start over so you just accept your misery and hope your children have a better life than what you settled for. ↑ |
| Name: pj754 | Date: Aug 2nd, 2006 12:09 PM |
| I'm very sorry to hear you are experiencing this at such a young age. You have two beautiful children together and he should be willing to focus on you and them. Your past was your past before him and he shouldn't be so concerned with him. Frankly, it was none of his business. Yet, as a loving caring wife, you wanted to share everything with him. However, he still turns things around to make you look like your the bad guy. You are so young and have a whole life ahead of you. If your husband is doing these things to you, then he's never going to change. I agree with Lizzi, you need to get on with a new life without him even though you love him so much. He doesn't sound like he truly wants to correct his lifestyle for you or the children. I understand how important it is to not have a broken home but you need to realize if he truly wanted to make you and the children happy, he would make a drastic change. Lying to you is not very healthy. You will always have doubt about what he is doing in the back of your mind. Sure you could put your foot down and demand him to stop his actions but that will only make him do it more. What did he say to you when he came home from work? He doesn't sound like he is willing to grow up and take on the responsibility he created. I don't mean to offend you by all of this and I'm sorry if I have done so. I'm speaking from experience for myself. I was married at 21 and had my first child at 23. During our first year of marriage, we fought like cats and dogs. Over the years, I just learned to keep quite just to prevent so many arguments. Yet as I got older, I just couldn't keep my mouth shut anymore. He was so unreasonable. Even though, I was home taking care of the children, he still did whatever he wanted. I tried sticking it out to give the children a happy home life but I ended up divorcing 12 years later. He just didn't want to change and he slowly drained every kind of life I had inside of me. I can't help to think, I wished I had left him a long time ago but thankfully things has worked out for the best. I met a new man, who treats me better than himself. He doesn't do the kinds of things my husband did to me and he's a wonderful father to my children. You could tell him your not going to tolerate his behavior. If he isn't willing to beg forgiveness from you, then you have to let him go. It takes two to make a marriage work and if isn't willing to meet you halfway, then he probably never will. Keep me posted, even if you just want to vent. I'm willing to listen. ↑ |
| Name: f17rc010 | Date: Aug 3rd, 2006 4:36 PM |
| Alyssa, you have to get out. No woman should let themselves be treated like this. More importantly you have to set an example to your children. You don't want your son growing up thinking this is how he is to treat his wife. And you certainly don't want you daughter thinking she should let a man treat her this way. He is going to so it is up to you to lead by example for these kids. Be strong, take care of your children, there IS someone out there for you. ↑ |
| Name: mama_liza | Date: Aug 18th, 2006 1:19 AM |
| i think your young and you sound very smart but so lost in love, find yourself and know that you deserve to be the only woman in this mans life. please move foward with your 2 lil babies and if it was ment to be he will grow up never leave your heart in back burner for no man, take a step foward and you will feel great become strong for your kids have faith in GOD that every thing will be fine. ↑ |
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