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Name: Confused.

[ Original Post ]

I have been together with my husband for almost 11 years, we've been married for 7. I was 14 when we got together, he was 16. I got pregnant when I was 16 and had a baby when I turned 17. Got married at 18, and had our second baby when I was 19. My husband is def not the person I thought he would turn out to be. I am now 25, and he is 27. He is very verbally abusive to me, and then trys to turn it around and make it a "joke". He calls me fat, yet I am a 110 lbs. If things dont go his way we all better watch out. He checks the numbers to see who I text or call. Everyone I know tells me I deserve better. For all these years none of this had bothered me, but it does now. I feel like Im wasting my life away.I've never gone out with friends or anything. I feel like I dont even know what its like to live or have a life. I have to constantly look over my shoulder. I love him, but I am not in love with him. I dont know what to do. Do i tear my family apart, or stay and lay in the hole I dug myself. Any input would be greatly appreciated. thank you ↓

Name: gardensparrow | Date: Apr 2nd, 2012 10:36 PM

Oh, I'm so sorry you've been having such a rough time in your marriage. It sounds like you and your husband have in a sense grown up together. And, sometimes in those cases it can take a while to realize how you truly desire your marriage and relationship to be. So, first of all, I'd encourage you to consider getting some outside help and support in dealing with the issues you shared. For example, do you know of a pastor or counselor you could contact? If not, I know from my time at Focus on the Family that they have counselors you can contact for free at 1-855-771-HELP. Ideally, it would be great if your husband would consider seeing someone with you. But, if not, I'd still suggest you look into talking with someone on your own. Also, I came across this article at http://bit.ly/HFIXbv that may give you some guidance in responding to the way your husband talks to you and treats you. I hope it helps! Well, hang in there friend and don't hesitate to reach out and get some help. ((Hugs!)) ↑

Name: Mandy | Date: Apr 6th, 2012 9:40 AM

Dont let yourself become unhappy. If things dont get better, you have to leave. Its not healthy for you or your children. 25 is sill so young. Just because you love someone doesnt mean you need to stay with them. TRUST ME on that one. I waisted 5 years with someone on that. People grow older, people change from who they are as teenager, plus you guys grew up a little to fast. But still dont give up on your self and settle because of that. ↑