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Name: Nicola
[ Original Post ]
Im 17 in a few weeks and I have a set of 17 month old twins and I'm not with their father. They are called Poppy and Daisy. James has access to them for at least 20 hours a week. I have a routine that has been in place here for a year and it works well and suits my life, they have a bed time between 7 and 7.30 and are up at 5.00 am and they usually wake at around midnight for a cuddle. The day is just as routine as they go to a creche while I carry on at school so they get lunch at certain times etc. Well My problem is when they go to their dads their routine is disruppted. We've sat down and spoke about this so much but we can't reach an agreement on it. He has a good routine in place at his house but he has another child who has just turned 4 and James (the twins' dad) is quite a typical bloke, he's laid back and relaxed so he will let the twins nap for more than 4 hours in the afternoon and they won't sleep at night. I was wondering if anybody else has problems with keeping their babies in some sort of routine when they have 2 homes. Is it still important to have a routine when they are my two's age? Thanks
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Name: Lizzi | Date: Dec 13th, 2006 2:38 PM
I'd say if James was respectable at all then he would at least try to keep the kids on the schedule you have in place for them since that's what works well for them and you. He really shouldn't disrupt their pattern like that. If he is letting them nap for 4 hours then it kinda sounds like he is doing that for his own benefit so he doesn't have to look after them as much. (I hope your not mad I said that) but that's certainly what it sounds like to me. 

Name: Nicola | Date: Dec 13th, 2006 4:34 PM
Course im not mad you said that! Its what I think! It's not as if I am truly madly deeply in love with him. We are having a meeting on friday with my social worker to assess how we are doing as a joint custody. DId any other people who have joint custody have to have these or is it just me because of our past? I think then I will bring up the schedule. Is it still important to have a routine at my two's age? If so I will work on a new one, because it does make things easier for me as I know what time to start tea and bed time is the same pretty much everynight so I can work on my millions of essays! 

Name: Lizzi | Date: Dec 13th, 2006 4:47 PM
I think when you have a routine at this age it just makes it easier to continue following one of a similar kind when they are older. This way they expect and accept rules being a certain way because they were raised from the beginning having things set a certain way. This makes it better for you and them. As for the social worker meetings,is that because you are so young and just a temporary thing? 

Name: Nicola | Date: Dec 13th, 2006 5:07 PM
I think its because im young. I still have a social worker just to check that im okay. There are no problems with my parenting or with the twins' devlopment but she just wants to make sure I dont relapse into depression again. She'll be with me till im 18. I also think that these meeting type things are just to make sure that no harm is coming to the twins and all that bussiness. I'm really tired today. I just want to go to sleep. But our turkey is nearly ready. The twins have never had turkey before so im hoping they wil like it as I do not want to be picking it up off the floor if not, 

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