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Name: tweetybird4
[ Original Post ]
Hey Siren...Sorry, I started another post for you cause the other one was getting sooooo long. Hope ya don't mind? Gosh, things are still crazy, huh? I'm sorry you are having these misfortunes. Sorry to hear about his daughter and the troubles she's having. It's good that he's getting her help but it doesn't sound like he's on top of things like he should be. His daughter is alot like him, ya know? Does things for attention. My guess is that's where she's learned how to behave cause he does similiar things to you. I'm sorry you struggled a bit in school. However, you have to right attitiude to keep working at it. Good for you!! So, your falling out of love with him? Well, I don't blame you one bit. If only he could see the real person you are, it would make both your lives so much easier. Complaining about how you are in the bedroom shows his lack in his own self-esteem. Obviously, it makes him feel better to cut you down the way he does. Then, he turns around and prides himself on being able to be with anyone he wants too. Shame, shame, shame! What goes on in the bedroom should stay in the bedroom. At least that's what I think. He has a good thing with you and he's blowing it. He's not seeing the broad picture which is how loving and caring you are. He's upset and afraid that you will meet someone nicer than him and that scares the hell out of him. So, for him to cut you down the way he does, he's trying to lower your self-esteem. Hunny, don't let it happen! No matter what he tells you that is so negative, just let it go in one ear and out the other. The day will come when you become immune to anything he says to you. It's already happening. Yes, you do need to stop paying his bills but if that's what you chose to do....it's your right, too. I just wish you would save all that money for yourself to establish your own security. Over all, how are you? How's your family? You have the opportunity to take your time in school. You will finish, I'm sure of it. Your will and determination proves it. It's so good to hear from you. Keep us posted on how things are going. I do think of you and hope things will change for the better. You take care and I hope to talk with ya soon.
XOXOXOXOX,
Tweetybird
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Name: tb4 | Date: Feb 12th, 2007 5:00 AM
bump--it's still me, I just simplified my id name. 

Name: Siren | Date: Feb 25th, 2007 10:53 PM
HI tweetybird

Well things changed so little. I am dealing with alot lately school and work and bf and his daughter and then medical illness. Now the doctor wants to admit me into the hospital to get away from everything that stresses me out. He finally got a job that takes him out of town every now and then and i hate that but that ok. I told him that he has to give me credit because i was nothing but there for him when he achieved anything. I did nothing but support him or help him with his advancement. I also told him that its hard on me when he is gone cuz i miss him so much but he is use to leaving so he dont feel that as much as i do. I told him that he needs to understand my point of view. I am not stupid i know he needs the job and so on. But its the way he talks all this money he will be making and not word of me, i mean like helping me in any way because i am backup with bills and so on cuz of him. No he more or less tells me with my check i will buy this and that its all about him. Mind you he did give me some money to spend but not much. I am seriously thinking to get another job in order to pay off some of my bills that have been affected because of my stupidity of helping him. I need to start thinking of me. As for the daughter i havent seen her since summer and when she calls she is snoty asking for her dad. Oh well she will get over it. Her dad says she dont like me because she wants her mom and dad back together well im not the one that split them up in the first place, i find she needs to know i came into the picture years after their breakup. OH well im dealing with alot so i really cant be thinking of that my health is suffering at the moment. Doctor wants me in the hospital to get away from the stress and maybe things will be better for me. i will take it a day at a time. Well i need to go seeing im in a rush but will keep you posted and let you know what goes on and hope to have time to talk more. I really do think of you as a good friend never lose touch.

thanks again 

Name: tb4 | Date: Feb 27th, 2007 3:25 AM
Hey Siren----So glad to hear from you. I'm sorry to hear about your health. Perhaps your doctor is right about taking time to regain your strength back. Being healthy is very important right now and you need to follow your doctor's advice. You won't do yourself any good if you run yourself too thin. As far as the bills go, call the people you owe and ask them to put you on a cheaper payment plan with a lower interest rate or no interest rate at all. All you need to do is call them. I'm sure you don't want your credit ruined and if your worried to death about it, just call to inquire. They will help you if they can. I'm sorry your b/f isn't treating you any better. Maybe his job will help to get him on the right track and there is nothing wrong with asking him to help you out. Just remind him that you've loaned him money for things he needed and now is the time for him to return the favor to you. As for his daughter, well, she does have some issues but you won't be able to help her if she's unwilling to reach out to you. You have to accept her for the way she is. She will change when she's ready which doesn't sound like she's considering it. As for school, well, do what you can. Don't pressure yourself so much. It will always be there and you can pick up where you left off. That's the great thing about education, you can rush through it or take your time with it. Take whatever it is you need and relax. If you do see your b/f ask him for $25-$100 because you have a bill you seriously need to take care of. Keep asking and hopefully he will do it on a regular basis so that you can get the bills paid down. Every little bit helps. Listen, try to get better and when you feel more energentic, then change your stradegy. It's wonderful to hear from you, I just wish it was on a more postive upbeat note but I'm always thinking of you. I appreciate our friendship, too! I do hope things will get better in your future. I'll try to keep in touch. I haven't been on lately because my family has been sick, too. It takes time to nurse everyone back to health. Plus there has been alot of chaos but it's seem to settle down. Well, you take care and write back when you can.
Your dear friend, tb4 

Name: tb4 | Date: Mar 28th, 2007 11:34 PM
Hello Siren---I'm sorry your bf is not being very nice to you. Leaving those pictures lying around for you to find of him and the girl he cheated with is just completely rude and unacceptable!!!!!! No, he's not very nice in my book. He did it b/c of your thinking??? Come on....this man will say just about anything to you. Siren, I know you love him and have an aching feeling inside of you about him but he doesn't treat you very well. He's playing constant mind games with you b/c he wants you to feel sorry and bow down to him. Pardon my next line. Grow some balls, girl!!! In fact, you should be kicking his. Throwing your rings out the window and then to go back and get them only shows how immature he truly is!!! Better yet, I'd like to kick his balls clear across the Atlantic Ocean. Siren, I know you truly love this guy but this putts is really starting to aggravate me. Yes, you do need him out of your life. He's hurting you in so many ways. I can tell ya that it's going to take time to get over the feelings you do have for him. You need to try to keep yourself busy with other things so that you can't allow yourself to spend anytime with him. When he calls or stops by where ever you are, just tell him you don't have the time......your too busy. Or play it nice and just say that you'll call him and don't. Have your phone numbers changed so he can't reach you by phone. He's weak and narrowed minded to be picking on you the way he does. Yet, he knows that you store a place in your heart while he keeps trying to get into it. Don't let him do it. Tell him that you have too many things going on and you need to get them sorted out before you continue any relationships with anyone. I'm sure he's not going to like that comment but you have the right to tell him your tired of him games and treating you like crap. So what if you didn't leave your ex like he thought you should of!!! That was before him and your not with him now. Yes, your ex had control over you but you were finally able to get out for under it. This fella is doing the exact same thing. Getting over someone will take time. Trust me on that one. I've had to cut out my own family members from my life and at first, it hurt like hell but in the long run, it was the best thing I could have done. The pain and heart aches subsided. Now, as I look back on it all, I ask myself..... why didn't I do it sooner? Doing this to a partner is the same thing. You start second guessing yourself and feel guilty about doing it only because they are making you feel guilty cause they can't handle their own wrong doing. They always have to point the finger towards someone else for the blame......lack of insecurity. You haven't done anything wrong and yet your bf makes you think ya did. That's a serious mind game. My ex did it to me for 13 years and is still trying to do it. Only now, I don't give him the satisfaction anymore and he knows this. Don't call, don't fax, don't write......leave me alone. This is a hurdle to get over but you can do it. It sounds like he's stressed you out something wicked and that's not something you deserve. Don't Worry, Be Happy!! .....Sorry, a song by Bobby McFairen (sp?) popped into my head. I do hope things will get better for you. In time, it will......I promise you. You take care of your sweet self. Keep me posted and so glad to hear from you. I look forward to a more positve conversation. Take care!
Your friend,
tb4 

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