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Hey Girl!! I was wondering how you and family have been? I hope things are going well and mediation is working out. Drop me a line when ya can. Take care and hope to hear from ya soon. ↓
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| Name: stillinshock | Date: Jan 15th, 2007 4:48 PM |
Hi there! I've started to write a couple of times recently but got dragged away right in the middle! My little one and I are both under the weather, but nothing a few days in our jammies won't fix! We had crazy holidays, my sister was still recovering from the birth of her first child and my husband and I actually went away overnight by ourselves! It was our first overnight away from our daughter – I missed her terribly – but it was nice to have some grownup time. We had great meals, threw some money away at a casino and toasted with champagne! And things around here have been going OK, the visits are going more smoothly now that my stepdaughter is in a bit of a routine with us (she even sat at the table and actually ate both meals she had with us on Sunday!). The visits are more normal now, 2 evenings a week with alternating Saturday/Sundays – and her mom doesn't dictate with who or where anymore. And there is a little bit of smug satisfaction on my part – although I feel bad for my stepdaughter – that she doesn't want to go home after her visits with us, my husband says she starts bawling as soon as he pulls into her mom's driveway. She has already become pretty affectionate with me (I get nice hugs, she takes my hand to show me things and sits on my lap to read or watch tv and she calls me 'Omie'). I think our personalities are helping to calm her a bit, too, the yelling seems to be going away and she's getting a little less aggressive with the toys... although I think on top of college money for her we're going to have to save up for therapy, poor thing...
Speaking of therapy, I've decided to go and see my husband's therapist on my own – she invited me via my husband – then we're both going to go to her together. There's no doubt we still have issues to resolve but at least my little outbursts (sometimes crying, sometimes mad) are getting further apart... I look forward to the day they disappear! He's going away for a few days next week for work (luckily he has a family business so there will be other family members on the trip to help maintain my sanity!) so my daughter and I are going to visit my parents while he's gone. I think the break from everything will be good for us. It'll be interesting to see how he manages, though, he's never been away from our daughter that long – he missed us terribly when I visited my sister one day last week! She lives a couple of hours away and even though he worked all day we didn't get back until late that night... I think he appreciates having us as a family a lot more now (his poor sister took him in for the evening and fed him and put him to work babysitting her 3 kids!). So, all in all, things could be worse! Hope you had great holidays – I now know how you feel when your kids aren't with you... I only had a one night taste of it, it must be hard when they're gone for days! Hopefully you've got lots to keep you busy – I'm sure your husband is good support for you when the kids aren't around, he sounds like a decent fellow (second time's the charm!).
I'm going to try a catch a quick nap while my daughter's sleeping to get rid of this cold so take care, I look forward to hearing from you again! ↑ |
| Name: tweetybird4 | Date: Jan 21st, 2007 2:01 AM |
I'm so glad to hear things are going better. I'm so glad your step-daughter is adjusting. It will take sometime for her to get over leaving you all. Just keep encouraging her that she will be back sooner than she thinks. It's a good idea that your thinking about therapy for her. She might needed it down the road. Yet, she may become a tough little girl at heart and see from your good examples that you and hubby are guiding her in the right direction along with her mommy, too. She going to looking for her place to fit in and you all seem to be doing the right thing. I commend you for giving your marriage a chance. I'm sure it's very difficult at times but you are a very reasonable person. I commend your hubby for his efforts as well. It's a tough situation on all of you. As far as being away from hubby, I sometimes think that a little absences makes the heart grow fonder.
Yes, it's hard on me when my children are away with their dad. I miss them soooo much. Although, sometimes I feel that they really don't miss me like I do them but that's just my selfish thinking trying to run away with me. It's terrible to say but it makes me feel a little jealous. Even though, I believe they should be able to spend time with their father, too. However, I wouldn't feel this way if their father wasn't always trying to play mind games with their heads. He's always adding his digs about me. Trying to make them think that I don't care about them. He knows they are the most important beings in this world and I would go completely nuts without them. It's his way to get at me. My hubby is a good support system. He helps me on the days when I feel like I've reached my lowest points. The ex never makes things easy for any of us. But, everyone seems to be happy and content when we are all together. My son still has his issues. I'm not sure how much counseling has helped but it's going to take some time. He has too many issues bottled up inside of him that brings out the worst in him. Alot of it is from his dad's insecurities. I've tried several times to sit and have a serious conversation with my son about some issues but it all falls upon deaf ears. Everything I say gets repeated to his father and of course, his father has something other than the truth to say. I can only hope when someone lies as much as my ex does that it will turn around back on him 10x harder. My ex tries to act like he's a caring concerned father for the children but all he does is try to twist the truths to make himself look like the better person. I can no longer argue with his stupidity. The arguing was one of the many reasons why I divorced him. Go figure, huh??? Well, someday the truth will be told for the betterment of everyone. It's hard to prevent the children from being caught up into all of this. I guess, I feel that if I set an example from letting what he thinks or says not affect me, then they will be able to handle individuals like him in their future lives! Even though I'm not fighting with words, I'm still fighting for good morals. My hubby keeps telling me it's always darkest before the dawn.
It's good to here from you. Keep me posted and how things are going. I enjoy our chats. If you would like to email me, please feel free to do [email protected]. Take care and talk to ya soon. Hugs & kisses to all!!! ↑ |
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