Initially I was very much in love with my wife. I protected her. I wrote love notes and poems. I could not get enough of her. I could smell her on my sheets and my pillows and I would miss her. She seemed rather indifferent to my affection often refusing to sit with me, not wanting me to hold her and rejecting me sexually, (though obviously not all the time because we have 3 children). I would tell her how beautiful she was and that I loved touching her. She was not interested and would rarely even accept the compliment. She has no appreciation for my sense of humor often attempt to joke or play turned into her not speaking to me for days at a time. We argued all the time and she has been physically violent. And when we weren't arguing she was sending me messages of calling me saying I needed to fing someone else and that I deserved to be happy which was strange to me. I started to shut down. I'm not much for yelling and screaming but in my mind I go away, and sometimes I never come back. Looking back on it she was not very giving to me at all. Didn't cook or grocery shop, barely cleaned. She never appreciated me as a man. She was never even interested in me until I met someone else. A friend at work she was very attractive and it made me feel good to talk to her and to know that she respected me and never judged me. There was never anything sexual or physical at all for that matter. I do recognize the emotional attachment that I felt with her. I did let her go when my wife asked me to.
Now several years later I am the source of all her problems according to her. Our roles have reversed she seems to genuinely love me now and does everything she can for me, but I couldn't care less to be honest. I have shut down. She shops and cooks and wants sex all the time but I'm not interested. Now she wants me to be who I used to be but I can't. So her method of coping is to complain about everything I do. Even when she wants to do something she makes it sould like a complaint. "You don't even try to touch me" (which I don't.) "You talk to your friends but not to me" (which I don't.) And so on. She whines and cries and its all I can do to keep from laughing. I don't like this person I've become. I'm just there for the kids at this point but I'm really thinking of leaving. I just don't want to be without them. ↓
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