Hello, guest
Name: wal08
[ Original Post ]
I am a married mother of one daughter, my husband and I married just under a year ago and I have been feeling unhappy in our marriage for the last 3 or 4 months and I am scared to talk to my husabnd about the way i have been feeling.

When we try to talk about anything emotional in the negative he becomes physically ill, it's almost like his body goes into shock because his mind doesnt want to hear what i am saying. I recently made a point of ensuring that our daughter was away for the night so that we could talk about our relationship issues and when I said that we needed to talk about 'us' he asked 'why?'. Like there was nothing wrong with the way we have been living.

We have only been married for 9 months and we havent made love for the last 4..... there is absolutely no romance or passion between us at all. Everything in our lives revolves around our daughter and there is no communication.

We dont have a lot of common interests, his is a sports nut and almost all conversations he starts are about sports which i couldnt care less about and I cant pretend to care.... He has no professional interests, he hates his job but wont change it, we never go anywhere or do anything together and if on the rare occasion we do go out, it's to the movies so we cant talk there either.

My husband is happy staying at home every night, watching TV, going to bed early, being at home on the weekend, watching TV or going to the footy. We basically have seperate lives, I go out with my friends and do the things I enjoy with them, then come home and he's still watching TV. His friends used to call him to catch up, go to the footy, go to birthdays or BBQ's but he would always say no.

I need my friends in my life and I cant be EVERYTHING in his life. Thats not what i want.

I am scared to talk to him about this, not because I am scared of him, he is not a violent man, but because I know he will instantly have this awful physical reaction. The issues seem to get forgotten because he is vommiting and shaking and nothing gets resolved.

I have tried to think of ways to change the direction of out lives, but I think he is happy with the way we live. I am bored and frustrated and flat. I feel passionless and I am starting to wonder whether we made a mistake getting married.

We were only together for 9 months when I got pregnant with our daughter and we were already living together at this point. We got engaged when she was six months old and started building a house in the suburbs and then we got married just before our three year anniversary.

I sometimes feel like we both just got caught up in the momentum of those 2.5 years and we married without really thinking about whether it was the right thing.

He is a great man, I just dont know whether I am in love with him anymore.

I dont know what to do......
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