Home » Pick Your Crowd » Divorced Family » What a messed up Mothers day! What do you think?

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Name: Serina S [ Original Post ] First off We had only Michael onFriday and He had to go home Sat at 2 . Samantha had a sleep arranged..so I did not get the see her at all. Ok so Michael said by the way happy mothers day on Sat After I said I hope he has fun with his Mom on Mother s day..Hint hint. SO no call from them at all nothing John got me a lovely card but said last week was so hectic he did not have time to get me anything .It is not that I want something but I want it to be special being a Step Mom is no piece of cake.I mean he ran out this moring to get me a card so when I got up he was not around at all ..then I found a note saying he would be right back 1 hour later... anyway.... We were invited to my brother in laws & his wife for Mohters day with her mother and her family would be there are real family cook out .I told them we would try to make it after we saw my folks for brunch. ( I was thinking of stopping over and give my sister inlaw and her mother a gift I had for them John wanted to go home. I asked if they were expecting us "nope" he told his brother we would not be able to make it. Why did he do that?...because his brother wanted to know for sure if we would make it or not to make sure they had pleanty of food. But we would not be eating ya know since it would be right after brunch ( so he could invite the X.. I think) Saga continues... Then I found out the x WAS at my brother in laws and his wifes house with the kids for mothers day and they called Johns mother to wish her happy mothers day. The X has been going to my Brother IL church 45 min away from her and has now wiggled ...slimmed her way back in ther life. She now goes to bible study at therr house every Firday nigh. I spoke withthe sister Inlaw ablout how I feel about her way before all this buddy buddy shit happen & after it has happened. I told her that it hurts me that the x is spending time with them and how much trouble & pain she has cause me & they know what mess she caused for John in the past. I know they think they can chang her by the way of the lord but to have such disregard for my feelings ( John says he does not care...better person then I am ) & I do think it does hurt John too. I feel she does not belong in the family this way. Yes she will always be the kids mother and that will always be her place but this is too much . I mean she is sleeping with a married guy with 2 kids and she has him over every night for a meal with her kids ... get real. Right now I do not want to every go over to my brother in laws ever again. Such disregard for how I feel. Doesn't doe that not fall in to Not being Christina toward me . John says I should not let it bother me amd the it realy does not effect me ..but It does ..I am so upset about all this! I mean realy!!! Who would want your xs to hang out with your family & you are sapose to be happy about it & not let it bother you RIGHT??? What do you think am I being over sensitve about thing .I fell ilke crying & I can not sleep this is so bugging me . To top it off the X called me when I was in the shower She said" Plaes call me back tonght not later then 10 pm. " . Well I did not get the call untill like 11:00 .I was not sure if she still needed me to call her back or noth but I we were out most of the day " The X left a message this time for John saying to giver her a call back so he did & said he was going to bed but she can call if it were an emergency...no call. She might be pissed off because on Thurday because we got her billed for her DR in Her town maild to us saying we need to pay her bill. I called the Drs office up and told them to call her ,get her mailing address, to take John & our address off the bill and off her record. We do not carry her on our insurance so she should be billed not us. I was very kind on the phone & told them we would be handing her the bill but the should re snd it to her address. Anyway I am so sick of this and her.with her nasty comment to me and all. Just wanted to know your thoughts on this mess. I do so hope you all had a better Mothers Day then I did!!! XOX Serina ↓

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Name: Lory | Date: May 14th, 2007 1:47 PM

Hi Serina, I'm sorry your Mother's Day wasn't the greatest.....((((HUGS)))) We kinda celebrated mine on Saturday here, b/c hubby had to work a 12 yesterday! And, the first time in 13 yrs. my oldest step-daughter actually called me to tell me Happy Mother's Day! I was shocked...to say the least. lol As far as thinking it's wrong for the x to be invovled with your in-laws...I'm with you on that one. It makes it so hard to truly have a relationship with them when the x is slithering around. (been there, done that) And, IMHO being sneaky about it makes it worse to me. I understand totally how upset you are about it! I'm the kinda of person that (sorry) would rather not deal with them if it's gonna cause grief for myself and family. I'm by far not suggesting you do that. Maybe you could talk to them and explain how your feeling about all of it. They really might understand. I know they think they are handling it the "right" way and are not realizing they are hurting you. Talk to them Serina. Also, you did the right thing by explaning the situation to the doc's office. (been there also) I don't always find the right words to explain myself....but, I want you to know....I know how your feeling about all of this. And, your not wrong to feel how your feeling. These situations are indeed frustrating and cause much grief! At this point all I can offer is my support, and I truly hope things get better for you. (((HUGS))) again! xoxo ↑

Name: Serina S | Date: May 14th, 2007 4:44 PM

Thanks Lory. I mean I get that they want to help her to God but that does not mean she should hang out at ther place for the holidays. They could met some place else a dinner or something. No aplace I hang out with my family. I have spoken to them and my sister inlaw about this already and they did it again I am so done . I am so glad your step D. called you that is wonderful .Well glad you all were able to celebrate Mother Day on Sat. ..better then not at all. I thnk you for all your very kind words and support. You are such a dear person!! I do hope they see her for what she truley is or better yet that she will actually change...not likly All the best and again thank you !!! XOXO Serina ↑

Name: DAD | Date: May 14th, 2007 5:35 PM

from a mans point looks like your husband need to have a chat with his family ( brother / kids and his ex ) to point out that you have feelings and as you are his wife they should Respect them. you can't let things bottle up inside you as it will be the end of your relationship. ↑

Name: Serina S | Date: May 14th, 2007 5:49 PM

Thanks Dad. I will try to talk to my husband more about this . Maybe he would tell them better then I can ..Since Ihave stated to the in laws how I feel and the keep doing it. Thanks for your in put! ↑

Name: Lory | Date: May 14th, 2007 7:44 PM

Your very welcome Serina and thank you...your a dear person too! I have just been there with all of the same stuff you are saying. And, I had to "walk away" from it. It took me along time to do it! Yes, it caused alot of pain for alot of people....but, my family and sanity is worth more to me. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh. DAD said it...RESPECT. They all need to respect the fact that you are his wife and have feelings in all of this too! Sometimes our feelings in all of this gets swept under the carpet! And, sorry to say....her true colors will show through someday for everyone to see! I know I already wished you a Happy Moms Day the the other day.....but, Happy Belated Mother's Day again. Hopefully, your having a better day today. I wish for you many blessings. And things will work out for you and your kind heart! Take Care! xoxo DAD, great reply! Very true! ↑

Name: Serina S | Date: May 15th, 2007 12:05 PM

I talked to John He just does not get it. He says it is ther business who they are friends with and we have no right to tell them they can not have her over. Oh well what can I do . I no longet consider Connie as my friend anymore ..It is done for me. Lory thank you so much . You have been a big help! I hope you had an amazing Saturday before Mothers Day. John for got to give me a card Michael made for me on Saturday ..It was funny it had a postit in it and said meet Dad in the kitchen . The card said do not open untill mothers DayLove Michael& inside saidHappy Mothrdays Thank uou for everything.I love you and I hope you have a great day I love you Love Michael Ps Your cool What a dear heart .Man John feel awful for frogetting all about the card and not giving it to me untill this morning( as he should!) but hey his memory rotts. So Yep I am better now . XO Be well and have an excitingly fun day ↑

Name: Reed | Date: May 15th, 2007 4:00 PM

I probably will have a little different persceptive on this than most here. Im divorced and 2 boys with my ex-husband. We have joint custody where the boys are 1 week with me and 1 week with him. Well his wife HATES me passionately and one of our issues is that she doesn't believe that I should have ANY contact with my ex in-laws. Now, granted I would never go over to their house for dinner or anything like that (that is a little extreme), BUT I do believe that a relationship should be maintained for the kids sake. I have to sneak around at this point to even talk to my ex in-laws. When we are at the childrens ballgames, we are not even "allowed" to speak to one another. Just b/c I divorced their son, brother, etc....doesnt mean I divorced them. Just try to remember that you have a common thread being the kids. ↑

Name: Serina S | Date: May 15th, 2007 5:24 PM

I do see what you are saying but I am talking about going over tio my brother inlaws to hage out . I mean they were only married for a 1 ...and friend ships were forged to a small degree . She was not liked but any family memeber due to the way she treated him . But my brother in law and her were friendly ..But they have not hung out in like 15 yrs or more yrs. Once they new that it hurt me why re forge a friend ship. The kids see ther uncle and all of Johns family ...she does not have to . It is way diffrent if Johns family went to the kids events at scholl or sports ( they do not ) they should be friendly to her and kind espically for the kids but no more or less. I d o not see why you need to talk to your in law but maybe you were married longer then John & his x was. My take is you divorce him you do not get to hanfg out with his family except at school functions ...for the kids. Just my take on it... Much luck in working out family gatherings and happyness to you and yours ↑