Hello to all on this site. i know this is mainly a female site but i was searching all over to find what kind of problem i am having and after reading most post on here i feel i can relate to some of your husbands. so here it goes. im going to spill my guts out. hopefully you all can help me.
my wife and i have been married goin on 3 yrs now. we have 2 sons together. one 19 months and one just 3 weeks old. i am a member in the air force. my wife and i got married when i was 18 and she was 19.before we got married i recieved orders to be stationed in europe and she was going to be stationed in new jersey. my initial plan was to try out the long distance relationship thing with her to see if what we had was real becuase i felt i was not ready to be married yet but come to find out she was pregnant. there was no way that i could leave this woman i feel i love pregnant with my child alone in jersey. so we decided to get married. my wife is an amazing woman. she was in the air force reserves but since we got stationed in europe together she could no longer be in the air force. so she basically became an at home wife. loving, loyal, and always put me and the kids before herself. i do not want to overwhelm you all with my life story so to shorten it up let me get to my point. me and my wife argue. i would say no more than the average couple. but now she is leaving me next week to new york. our status is unknown. she is leaving becuase i have been pushing her away mentally. i have told her i do not want to be married. i told her i do not want to be married but i still want to live with her for the sake of our kids. i feel i do not want to be married becuase i feel i do not deserve her. she loves me soooooo much. she will do anything for me and as hard as it is i can not say i feel the same. i am now 21 and at times i can only think about what life would be like if i were single. its breaking my wife's heart to know that i feel this way. i honestly wish i could love her as much as she loves me. i do not want to keep putting her through this emotional roller coaster . i was raised in a good family. just me and my sister mother and father. i feel i am a good man. i supported my wife and kids financially. i mean i just even bought a house and new car for us. but now she says she does not want to be with me if i am only going to give her half of me. my parents are not happy with the way i am acting, i am not happy with with the way i am feeling but it has been my gut feeling from the beginning of our marriage. the feeling of "what have i got myself into". i have never cheated on my wife becuase i know my conscience would eat me up. at times i would just look at porn to relieve my urge to be with another woman. and its not that my wife does not give me sex but i just feel as if i need something new. i do not want to lose my wife and kids over my feeling of wanting to be single. i will be a lonely fool but as much as i want her to stay and hopefully work things out, i do want to make any promises i cant keep and make her feel she is wasting her time trying to make a marriage work with a man who wants to be single. so she is leaving next week and we have been better than ever since she bought the plane tickets. i am showing her love that i never thought i had in me, i am giving her comments like telling her how beutiful she is. i feel like me realizing she is leaving is making me appreciate her so much more but how long will this feeling last? if she stays, whos to say when my feeling of "what if" will come back. what is wrong with me??? my wife is amazing, she loves me so much but i always have a feeling of just wanting to go out and have fun without having to hurt someone else's feelings. i want to be able to go to clubs and parties and just be myself. i do not expect for her to wait for me while i figure out what i want. and i could not choose a better time becuase we just had our second child. i know my decisions are selfish and unfair to her and my kids but as i said before, as much as i want to work it out and stay loyal and completely in love with my wife. i feel i need to let her go becuase deep in my heart i feel i can not continue being married. what do i do???? ↓
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| Name: help | Date: Jan 30th, 2009 8:39 PM |
| Name: jimmy | Date: Mar 26th, 2009 1:41 AM |
| SMARTEN THE HELL UP DUDE,, my friend you sound like you got it everything a man could want,,wonderful wife couple kids,, just guessing you are about 23/24 years old ,,you probly feel like you missed out being a crazy young guy out evrynight partying ,,different women,blaah blah ,or I could be wrong ,,,all is i can say is tough it out man ,,the wife ,the kids, the family are worth everything in the world,,you dont want to be single ,,come on who wants to be single,,,,consider yourself lucky that you got what you have with her,,give your head a shake,,,time to be a dad time to be husband,,,, there will times to still party trust me,,,,but rmember family 1st then party later,,,, DONT BE A BONEHEAD ↑ |
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