My wife and I have been married for 6 years and we have a 3 year old daughter. The last two years our relationship has really deteriorated and we have fought constantly. Over the last several years we have gone to marriage counseling and have seen 3 different counselors. We have never seen positive results from the sessions however, that is mainly because we really never worked on the things we were supposed to.
Things have gotten so bad that we barely talk, we never kiss or hug, and all intimacy has been lost. This is mainly my fault as the more anger I developed for her, I never had the desire to show her any affection.
I had a conversation with her a month ago telling her that things have to change or we need to take the next steps. I told her however, that as bad as things are, I still want to make things work, and I am still willing to do whatever it now takes. I asked her how she felt and she needed time to think.
She later came back and told me she wanted a separation. This was obviously very upsetting to me and said lets try to take a little time to think things through. We then later met again and this time she thought more and stated now she wants a divorce. I am devastated.
As all of this has happened I have taken so much time to reflect and realized all of the terrible mistakes I made with her. For the first time I truly realized what she had wanted all along. The problem this has gone on so long that her heart has essentially died and she no longer wants to move on together. It is so sad to see what I have done to her and I am so ashamed.
What I also realized in all of this is that I still do truly love her very, very much. And now I am desperate to try and stop the divorce. The problem she had her mind made up and wants to proceed as quickly as possible.
I have asked her, out of courtesy, to give me a months time to just let me sort through my emotions and try to come to the table with a clear head. But she is really resisting this. I am even trying to get her to go back to counseling but she will not have it.
I guess my big question is, based on where things are now, is there ANYTHING that I can do to help slow this down and potentially try to get her reconsider? ↓
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