|Name: mandy | Date: Aug 10th, 2007 6:17 AM
|I am in a similar situation but not about the name of mum or dad.|
My partners kids and I have a great relationship, as do my kids with my partner.Unfortunately the chidlrens mother will not even ring our home phone number and will not let me into her home to give the children a present for their birthday. I have been the best person to her boys and always uphold their mother to them and when my partner and I took the boys away on a holiday I spoke to her at ;the airport and told her how wonderful the boys were and they are a credit to her and their father. I like her and think she is a great mum and person, but she just wont acknoledge me. Unfortuneately the boys suffer when I have to go to a park to give them a present. Their dad can go into their home but not me.We am not going to put the kids in the middle and deprive them of their father at important occassions. At least, my partner and I have the best relationship and all this just brings us closer as he always honours me.. ↑
|Name: Narelle | Date: Feb 4th, 2008 4:49 AM
|I'm in a simalar situation. We are in a custody dispute with my husbands ex. They have a 5 year old daughter together. I have been with my husband since their daughter was 8 months old. I went to school with the ex. I wouldnt have called us friends but we didnt hate eachother.So you could say ive known the ex for a good 10 years longer than my husband.|
The relationship my husband and myself have with the ex in exteamly strained. There is no comunication from her what so ever. She didn't even tell us when their daughter had her last ballet concert, even thou we have gone to everyone before the last one. This was because my husband wants more access to their daughter and he had his ex attend mediation. After initally having the mediation centre contact her it took her 6 months to attend the first session, she kept coming up with excusses not to attend. Then after another 6 months of meetings every 4-6 weeks my husband managed to up his visitation by 1, 3hour meal with their daughter and an extra 2 nights overnight every 2 weeks. Not much when my husband opening in the first mediation session was that he wanted half custody of his daughter and that he thought they should slowly work up to a full week . After 6 months the mediator put a stop to the meetings cause my husbands ex was yelling at him and she would not budge and give him anymore time with his daughter so after 6 months of meetings my husband ended up with 1 week he gets to see his daughter for a 3 hour meal from 5pm to 8pm and the other week he gets his daughter from 5pm friday night to 8.30 am monday morning. Not much of an improvement . We did have her from9.30 am saturday till 5pm Sunday and this was the same for 4 years. The mediator told my husband to take her to court. She cant be reasoned with.
So now it's the solicitors, The ex agreed 2 weeks ago that half custody would start on friday the 8th of february, which is this friday and today we get a letter (Monday) saying she's changed her mind. And we can now only have her every 2nd week end the same as before and for only 2 hours now on the tuesday night when we have a meal with her. So after all this sh's actually taken time with therir daughter away from my husband and now we are going to have to spend a fortune in court. This woman cleaned my husbands bank accounts out then kicked him out of their house with a bag of clothes when their daughter was 3 months old. She is a heartless woman that cares about nothing but herself and money. When I met my husband he had nothing. He was earning $300 a week and paying $130 in child support each week. The way she has harassed us with midnight phonecalls demanding money the accusations of alcohol abuse and violence from her. Ive had it. I keep thinking Karma it will get her one day but I dont know if my marriage can last the distance. I cant imagine still doing this in 10 years time. Ive already suffered a miscarriage from extreame stress this situation has put me under. We've been married for 7 months and a knew what I was getting myself into but I didnt relize it would be this hard. I have done nothing to this woman. Yes of gone with the kill her with kindness but after almost 5 years of this Im starting to crack. My husband and I also have a 2 year old son who the ex refuses to acknoledge as their daughters brother. The whole situation kills me inside. I can either stay and nod and smile like I have for the last 5 years, and secretly cry my eyes out or I can just leave and remove myself from the situation. She wins then, She just wants to make my husbands life misreble. ↑
|Name: Alex | Date: Feb 15th, 2008 7:28 PM
|Dear Stacy, I am in a similar situation I met Tony my husband 8 years ago, we have been married for 7 years now and his ex wife is still giving us hell. She tries to find any reason or excuse to makes us angry, she has tried using their two children against me, she has tried talking about me, she has even had a guy friend of hers call my husband and try to ask for me, to get my husband mad at me. Even though she has tried many things she has not accomplished anything. We love each other very much. Recently she sued my husband because when they got a divorce back in 1998, they divided their debts, he still has not been able to pay one of the credit cards that they had together, because it over 6 thousand. So she is now saying its ruining her credit so she wants him to pay the credit card and also what she is having to pay the lawyer for suing my husband. Her request if he does not pay is to put him in jail and pay with time what he cant pay with money. So in other words the ex wifes are just burning because all of us have been able to live happy with our husbands. They have been able to get over the whole divorce deal and moved on. I wish you all out there getting a hard time from jelouse ex wifes good luck. ↑|
|Name: Rebekah | Date: Feb 29th, 2008 6:00 PM
|I'm not sure how to properly give advice when I've even been to jail because of my husband's ex wife. She fled the state after my husband and I got married, and we didn't see her, or the child for four years. She would periodically call and ask for him back, even as far as to ask for his sperm just so that she can have children by the same man, since it's "trashy" to have children by different men. (Referring to me) I have these ridiculous requests on tape even. We have, NOW a mutual Restraining order against each other, because I tracked her down and found out where they were living so that he could exercise visitation. All of this hard work that I've done, for my husband and for the greater good, has all biten me in the behind. She lies, and manipulates Claire, which will be ten this year, and it is turning her into her mother. My daughter (with a previous relationship) calls my husband dad, and her father daddy. At first Will, (Makaley's father) didn't like it, but he understood that, that is how she relates to him. He finally realized that Jeff (my husband) is helping her grow, and raise her on the days that he doesn't have her. She's a healthier person because she has the love from ALL angles in her life. I can't stand Amy, (his ex) for everything that she's put me and my family to, so honestly, just make sure you have a strong sense of self or it could end up extremely ugly. I've been mentally, physically, and emotionally attacked and abused by his ex wife and it will probably be the end of me. Lol. Pray. That's all I can really offer, I hope all goes well in your case. ↑|
|Name: linda | Date: Mar 2nd, 2008 4:45 PM
|Hello, I am an available woman who can baby sit you kids, i really love kids and like to give them the best and maximum care. Anyone who is in need of a babysitter in the states you can contact me. Also Contact me for arrangements and i am very seriouse. my email is [email protected]|
looking forward to hear from you. ↑
|Name: Cin | Date: May 23rd, 2008 1:45 PM
|My husbands ex wife lives in the same town as us. She just moved to town last year to live with her boyfriend. Seeing her in town from time to time REALLY BOTHERS me. She has a child thats 10 years old with the boyfriend. And my husband and I have a 6 year old. Both the kids go to the same school. So during any assembleys she is there. And you can cut the tension with a knife. Help ↑|
|Name: faith | Date: Jun 3rd, 2008 7:48 AM
|i commend you on you ability to see that its about the kids not the adults.im in the middle of howling my eyes out because my husbands ex has just told me that we can only see the kids(girl 15, boy 14 and boy 12) every 2nd weekend.this is after 12 years of fighting in court for access and then the last 3years, i befriended her so as to calmly deal with her to see the kids.this worked for that time, i cleaned her house, ran the kids to work, school, cooked meals(50% of the time for them),had them whenever she had a new bf or wanted to go nightclubbing (often), bought their necessities like socks undies general clothes shoes and interest items, ontop of paying our chilsupport, admittedly this was for the kids not her, but now she admits to the kids shes jelous and doesnt want me interferring in their lives, which i would be glad to ease off and consentrate on my girl 7yr old and 11 month old boy, but she still makes them cook clean and fend for themselves but i cant be there to protect them anymore.i miss them and love them so much it hurts and when i look into their eyes and they are saying take me with you my heart breaks.she emotionally blackmails and abuses them.the middle boy told me he has thought of suicide b4 and she puts down the eldest girl so much she is now on a diet and exercise regime.normally im there to conteract this but cant be now, its tearing me up.what should i do? ↑|
|Name: ann | Date: Jul 14th, 2008 3:32 PM
|I do not let my children call my husband dad or their step mom "mom" because I feel that the title of "momma and daddy" are very special. God gave these children to the both of us to be their parents and I know they love both of their step parents which is great, but I think it would be hurtful to either of us. Calling another woman momma after all the years of sitting up with a sick baby, listening to all my teenage daughters "heartbreaks", coaching soccer, every doctors visit, every sleepover, just everything I do.....it would TRUELY break my heart. I would not love my kids any less but it would hurt! I have an abusive ex but I would still never hurt him like that to allow our kids to call another man daddy. But that is just me. ↑|
|Name: sweety | Date: Aug 11th, 2008 10:45 PM
|my husband and his x wife has been stressimg me out, the first time was when we got married , she said that my husaband daughter cut her wrist and then that was a lie, and then she took us to court and got 1,750 in child support for two kids, i think it all started then and it still does contuinued , becuase now the daughter has kid and she uses the granddaughter like she did the kids. so i was wondering if i could sued her for stress. and for me landing up in the hospital? ↑|
|Name: Nadia | Date: Aug 27th, 2008 3:06 AM
|Did you realize that people have written many books about the ex-wives and being a step mom and not a one truly ehlps you deal with it all. When I married my husband, I became an instant mom of 2 very young girls. At the time, the oldest girl was 6 and the youngest was about 3 years of age. Both with multiple issues that comes with divorce. Did I mention, that the exwife has been popping pills and whatever else she could get her hands on unitl 1 year ago. After 2 years of counseling for the children, I am not sure that has helped. The "bio" mother is clean today and has gone from one extreme to the other. Now she is completely focused on her Church. I commend her for finding her higher power, but it almost seems that she is over doing it. She leaves the longest messages on our home voic-mail about how God is so imortant to her and that she wants us to be saved like her. " Living in sin, as you do will not send you to the Lord", ex-wife says. Are you kidding me, now we are going to hell. Why do addicts put blame and full responsiblity of their lives on the parents that have struggled emtionally and finacially to raise 2 young girls in todays world? I am religiou myslef, but I do not feel that I should impose my beliefs on others. I live by the 10 commandments and do not spread the word by mouth. I act the way God expects of me, which in turn will reflect on my children as well. She claims that she is taking us to court to re-instate visitation rights. The thing is- I am happy that she is better now. I am happy that she wants to be apart of her girls life. IT IS ABOUT TIME. DId I mention that during her last yer on drugs she concieved a child who ws a preemie addicts to methadone and oxicontin? So now she has custody of her new daughet and has regained her self control back! Great! Lets move on and please leave me alone. When she calls - she leaves messages for me asking me not to put the kids in the middle. I never put the kids in the middle. Inrealilty, I have tried to do the opposite. Tried very hard to control my anger towards their mother, encouraging them to call her and communicate with her. The oldest is the best manipulater in the world. She knows how to work both her mom and dad. I see it because I am from the outside, but they do not see it at all. I am so sorry for this very long reply- BUT my gosh I am going crazy inside. After about 1 year of marriage withmy husband, we find out the I was pregnant and 2 years later I had a son. Now we are a party of 6. I worry that the younger kids will see how the oldest manipulates, disrepects me, and does not mind me when her father is around. My 4 year old daughter is beginning to pick up on this behavior and is mimicking her oldest sister, who is now 12 years old. I know what you are thinkg, talk to your husband. But that is another subject that I could wrtie about for hours. I really need a group of mom, step moms, and ex-wives to help me cope and deal with these constant stuggles. Can you guys help? ↑|
|Name: suzyq | Date: Aug 27th, 2008 8:13 PM
|I think that there should be a support group for step-mom's. I married my husband 7 years ago. At that time his daughter was 1. My son was 6. My husband and I now have 2 children together who are 5. His daughter is very jealous and her mom has created this fantasy life through old pictures. In his daughters mind and from what she is told, she thinks that if she plays these mind games, it will get mommy and daddy back together. She is now 8 and knows that if she says things to her mom, like one of the kids were mean to her (and trust me it has gotten worse than that), her mom will call her dad and they will talk. (She will try anything to get her parents back together even though mommy has someone now and daddy is remarried).|
Also, if anything comes up for our kids (soccer, braces, etc.) and his ex finds out, he is told that our kids come last and his daughter should come first since she is the first born. And he's told over and over how he's the one that left and he's just going to have to take whatever she dishes at him. After much resentment and bitterness she has now turned her attacks on our 5 year old son. And she is using her daughter to hurt him. And my ex now calls my husband's ex to confer to see what is going on in our day to day lives. It's a vicious cycle. And it has not come full circle as of yet.
I am always pleasant to his ex and to my ex. But it's very hard. And the main thing that both ex spouse's want, is to see our marriage fail since we didn't stay with either of them.
I highly recommend family counseling or counseling for yourself. Because it really helps to talk with someone on the outside and get their perspective on how you can handle certain situations. Sometimes it's just too much for one person to try and handle on their own. Trust me, I've been there and am still there! ↑
|Name: ann | Date: Aug 29th, 2008 7:05 PM
|JULIE-- I understand completely. Even though we know we are "mom" it does hurt very much when another woman tries to assume our roles...especially when they try to get our kids to call them MOM. We are the one that wipes away their tears, takes care of them when they are sick, coach ball teams, love and support them no matter what and because they go to their dads a few days a week some new woman all of a sudden thinks she is their MOM..........sorry but God made me their mom!!! They psycho I deal with got tatoo's about my kids on her!! She even posted my daughter in a magazine and listed herself as her mom....when she had not even known my daughter but for 3mths!!! I try to do the right thing, I try to "kill her with kindness" but she is still a undermining witch!!! My daughter seen her for what she is so when she started not wanting much to do with her she started buying my daughter expensive clothes and purses! It really gets old ↑|
|Name: mary | Date: Dec 6th, 2008 9:13 PM
|how do i deal with my husband and his ex wife . ↑|
|Name: maria | Date: Jan 2nd, 2009 12:21 AM
|can someone please tell me how i can deal with my exhusbands wife? I tried talking to her last night about why my daughter was still outside at 11:30 at night and she's only 14. before i can say anything she started yelling at me and saying that they are resonsible parents, but she sounded as if she had a lot to drink , and i told her not to pick her up if they've been drinking. and she continued to yell at me and hung up on me. i just wanted to kick her ass for doing that. I've always been nothing but nice to her and i think she thinks i'm easy and i won' t say anything back, but she's wrong! what should i do kick her ass or what? ↑|
|Name: frustrated | Date: May 15th, 2009 4:06 PM
|PLEASE HELP ME!!! |
My husband and I have been together for over 3 years. Since day 1 there have been problems with his ex-wife. They had been divorced for about 2 years when we met. My guess is that she assumed that he would always be single/available for her to do with whatever she wanted.
When she found out how serious his relationship with me was, the problems started. When the kids met me for the first time, she had told her (then 5 year old) daughter that they were poor because I stole her Daddy away from them.
For three years I have been putting up with little comments similar to that that come from the kids. I don't really mind it, the kids love me and I love the kids.
But that's not the worst part....
Since she found out we were engaged she would call my husband almost every day and tell him how much she loves him and should be with him. Two months after my husband and I were married, she also remarried and STILL TO THIS DAY!! continues to tell him "We should be together" "We have a family and need to be together for the kids" "If you divorce your wife I will divorce my husband and we can be together" I HATE IT!!! At first I thought she was just crazy and mental, but 3 years of this kind of thing has been slowly wearing me down.
I have tried to kill her with kindness, but I'm just done.
I'm having a really hard time because my husband seems to cater to her feelings more than my own. I tell him all the time from the very beginning that I am having a hard time with her, but it seems like he just doesn't listen to me. The only thing we fight about is her.
I know that he needs to have a good relationship with her for the kids's sake, but he NEVER tells her to stop saying those kind of things. When I ask him why, he says its because it will make her mad and then she will say something crappy about him to the kids.
This problem has affected our relationship so much that I am seeing a marriage counselor! It doesn't seem to be helping much though. I think I need advise from women who have the same problems and have gone through the same situations.
Please, if you have any advice for me, PLEASE help!
Thanks so much!! ↑
|Name: Allison | Date: Aug 25th, 2009 1:41 PM
|I am in the same situation. My fiance's ex-wife loves to harass us. She calls our house 6 times a day if we do not answer the phone. She also threatnes me with a restrainging order to have me removed from the house, because she doesn't have comrtol on what happens. Her reason for the restrainging order is because I have gone out to a party without the kids and my fiance and got drunk and the kids and my fiance picked me up at my friends house where I was drinking at 9:30pm on a Saturday night. I am an adult so I do not see the reasoning in this. She also hates that I have any kind of say in my own home in regards to the kids. Can she leaglly do this? ↑|
|Name: Allison | Date: Aug 25th, 2009 1:47 PM
|My fiance's ex-wife also acts nice to me, and talks to me without issues unless my fiance says something to make her upset then she takes it out on me. The 3 kids are 12 years old and 10 years old. I have a good relationship with the kids but their mother always starts problems with me, and for some reason the court always gives her what she wants. I am going to be marring my fiance next October. Can she legally kick me out of my own home when the kids are their, even though my fiance and I will be getting married, as we have been togehter for 3 years. ↑|
|Name: Hating Psycho 1st Wives | Date: Oct 2nd, 2009 8:51 AM
|My husband has 4 children whith his crack pot of of fisrt wife. Let me tell you, this woman is a true piece of trash. She stars off by filing a fake ammended divorce agreement 30 minutes after they were divorced and used the original notary page as the signature. She moved my step sons to Texas with no warning, she tried to put my husband in jail (judge told her she was going to jail if she didn't cut it out), she lets her crimminal record new hsband threaten to rip the boys"f-ing cocks off", lets her 19 year old son keep a keg in his bedroom, lets her alcoholic husband punch holes in the walls when the boys come down in their boxers, and calls me to scream at me late at night saying she doesn't give a sh** about my kids or a d**m what I have to say. My husband never stands up to her, he just ignores her. She emails him every day at work, so much he has had to have her blocked. This woman is a raging lunatic. I wish to God she'd divorce her husband who is on his thrid marriage and move the hell back to where she came from. I have had to take over all dealings with her as my husband doesn't have the time to deal with her constant crazyness. She submits false documents for reimbursement. I am going after her for harassment now. Lucky for me I was an HR Director and spent my professional career trapping trash, too bad I have to deal with it at home too. The boys always side with their crazy Mom because they feel responsible for her. She has even let their teeth rot out, literally, a 15 year old had to get a root canal, can you believe that!!! She sent them to our house for five weeks with nothing, the shoes had holes in them and their clothes had holes too and they were too small. I spent 800 on clothes for them to keep at our home. She gets 1,800 a month from my husband. What a piece of garbage. I just know her trashy husband husband will leave her when the child support runs out. Can't wait for that glorious day! ↑|
|Name: broughton | Date: Oct 9th, 2009 2:38 AM
|Hi everyone - The latest threat my partners ex has made is that if my partner and i move up the line for new jobs that we were appointed for, she will not allow the father access to she the kids and she's keeping them away from me. what do i do? I have been with my partner for over 5years - you would think that she would be over "us" by now. - what do i do? ↑|
|Name: Brina | Date: Oct 28th, 2009 12:50 AM
|Im not sure you can make her in less hateful,but just keep being the biger person because the kids well see whats shes doing and in the end when there older they well know where to go for advice.hang in there. my husbands ex wont let him see his daughter who is know five and does know about the great father she is missing out on.Ever time he trys to fight for her the ex just lies to the courts and they belive her lies because of there past I think that she shoud have to prove her story but she never does. ↑|
|Name: brina | Date: Oct 28th, 2009 1:28 AM
|to Frustrated, maybe she dosnt really wont to be with your husband just wonts to make you crazy she is just jeoules of what you and your husband have focus on you and your family put you energy on you and him and ignore what she does cause to him he could care less.my husband has and ex who drives by are house every day and wont let him see his little girl because of me i think that is very sad he choose you be happy with that. ↑|
|Name: sunilthreja | Date: Oct 30th, 2009 4:55 PM
|Name: Stressed OUT | Date: Jul 19th, 2010 2:20 AM
|I would love to know if anyone out there has to deal with not being able to attend their stepchildren's functions b/c the ex is attending? ↑|
|Name: Alli to stressed out | Date: Jul 21st, 2010 10:53 AM
|I had a hard time with this one, it feels unfair and seems to send a message to the kids that you don't care. But I try to let them know I do care by asking all about it and telling them how proud I am etc. Also it's small in the grand scheme of things, really it's just my insecurities and ego that get upset. So when I'm feeling sorry for myself, I think how I might feel if I were her - she is the mom and you have to respect that.. Even if she's crazy like ours.. I just thank god I don't have her awful life. The kids know I love them and when we are together I try to make it special, and I do something enjoyable for myself while they're gone to their outing. Don't let those feelings be controlling your life or your marriage. It's not worth it. And yes I have to tell myself that several times a day- it helps though. Good luck to us all :-) ↑|
|Name: Tylermommy | Date: Jul 23rd, 2010 6:46 AM
|Christy, I know how you feel! I have been with my hunny for over three years now and have had to deal with his wacked out witch of an ex-wife! They have 4 children together and we have one child together so far! I have always and will always treat the older four as if they are my children too! We do not make any differences in them at our house. It does get really hard when the ex wants to make everything as difficult as possible just because she can! We have been trying so hard since I have been with him( he has been trying since before then) to make everything smooth for the kids, but she refuses to compromise on anything. She lies to the children about just about everything and anything that goes wrong or anything bad that happens is our fault...even though we only have the kids every other weekend! They can't play sports in school and it's our fault because they have to come down here for their visit! They used to live in the same town as us and she has moved 5 times with them in the past 3 years, every move taking them farther away...and this is our fault?! We don't want to be the people who talk badly about their mother, but we can't let them keep blaming us for all the things they can't do! We are moving to another state next week and changing our visitation to summer and x-mas. Well, they have time for sports now, right? Wrong, now they can't play because she doesn't have the money. Ask your dad for the money...oh, he won't give you the money?...guess you can't play! He pays the maximum amount of child support that can be taken out in California...that's half his check! She doesn't think she should have to pay for anything for the kids...it should all be taken care of with his support or they can't afford it!!! She doesn't pay rent because she manages apartments, yet she is broke?!!! Anyways, what I am trying to say is that I know where you are coming from!!! If you Love Lee enough that you love his daughter...I think it would be worth it to stick it out! Don't let the ex ruin your life!!!! ↑|
|Name: scuba21 | Date: Aug 13th, 2010 10:00 PM
|My problems may not seem as extreme as some of yours...but they have been making me feel unsure. My boyfriend of over a year has an ex-wife and a son. They talk to each other about their son (which I do not mind) but they will talk about the son's school and events and I'm usually left out of whats going on. I have to ask questions to find out. His son's first day of school was yesterday and my BF and his ex-wife went in together with his son and were together with the him. I know I came into this knowing my BF would have baggage but knowing that he is doing all these things with her first kills me inside and they are alone doing it together. He doesn't understand AT ALL! I try and talk and say how i feel and he gets defensive and im left feeling worse. He cant even comfort me about this subject. Its so hard being with someone who has an ex-wife and a son. I sometimes feel not very important compared to his past life. I know this may should really stupid but I have no one to talk to so I was hoping someone on here would have some advice or if anyone has ever felt how I feel.|
P.S. she is not mean to me but if i make the son something or buy him something it will be gone or she will say something negative about it so than his son doesn't want it anymore.... ↑
|Name: Shelley | Date: Aug 24th, 2010 1:40 PM
|I am also dealing with an awful ex-wife. She has called me some of the nastiest names you can ever imagine. But yet I take care of her children. I have NEVER dealt with anyone like this in my life. So I feel for all of you that are dealing with a NASTY and very BITTER ex-wife.... ↑|
|Name: jessica | Date: Aug 26th, 2010 9:03 PM
|how can i deal whit my husband exgirlfriend, she keeps on talking to him looking for me , when my husband dosent even talk to her or even bother to answer her text massages ↑|
|Name: bluetruck | Date: Jan 12th, 2011 5:53 PM
|what do i do with my wife x husband calling and saying things. Like i come to claim the kids on my taxes this year. And gos into if you stop me i suit you ↑|
|Name: bluetruck | Date: Jan 12th, 2011 6:13 PM
|To stressed out |
I am going throw the same thing. You are going throw I have 3 step children and their dad does do not want me at their school games or anything to do with his kids. he even when to the court house to file paper so i could not go. ↑
|Name: bluetruck | Date: Jan 12th, 2011 6:20 PM
|to scub21 my wife help me with this |
I can see both sides to this. I am in the same boat as you except that I have the baggage and my new husband is feeling left out. It took me a bit of time to see that I was leaving him out of the loop and that he wanted to be including in the family also. I still have a little trouble remembering to tell him things that happen sometimes but I think I am getting better. On the other hand I can see your BF's side. This is his son and his son's mom. They have history together and they are used to taking care of their son together. Just because they did not work out doesnt mean that the family does not do things together anymore. They work together for the sake of the son. And yes he will get defensive because... 10:14 AM
he feels that you are not trusting him. I'm not sure how you talk to him about it and what kind of language you use, but sometimes we accuse without knowing it. I do it all the time...lol. When you talk to him just simply ask that he include you because you feel like you are not part of the family and you want to be part of your BF's son's life. Make sure you say "you feel". Let him know that you love him and his son and you just want to be included. Don't get upset when things happen. When you find out that something is going on with the ex simply ask if you can go along. And be patient. Sometimes it takes time to make changes from old habits. Trust me I know. Its been 2 yrs and I'm still learning. Good luck ↑