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Name: Sara | Date: Jan 26th, 2006 3:38 PM
Dont worry nikki my children will grow up just fine so shove your sarcastic little two cent up uo your ****. jk 

Name: Nikki | Date: Jan 27th, 2006 11:42 AM
I'm sure you are just kidding. A wonderful mother like you would never make vulgar threats of voilence, now would she. Your comments speak for themselves, sweetheart. 

Name: TK | Date: Jan 27th, 2006 4:27 PM
Sara, I was just wondering how old you are because it sounds like you have alot of growing up to do. I'm not trying to be mean but but sit back and listen to yourself. People are suppose to be giving each other advice on this site not causing more drama. You're going to raise your kids the way you want to no matter what anyone else says so why fight about it. Again I'm not trying to disrespect you in anyway but everyone will always have there own opinion. Good Luck! 

Name: Sara | Date: Jan 27th, 2006 7:10 PM
To TK I'm old enough, and your comment is supposed to mean? If you dont like the drama then dont come around here. When people arent talk9ing to you maybe you should keep you mouth shut. Just a thought! 

Name: c'mon | Date: Jan 27th, 2006 8:42 PM
this has been a good debate issue until sara started infantile banter. one thing i've learned with my kids is that rewarding good behavior prompts more good behavior and ignoring attention getting bad behavior stops attention getting bad behavior. what say we ignore sara and get back to the topic at hand? 

Name: Sara | Date: Jan 27th, 2006 8:53 PM
Good idea! 


Name: mohanad | Date: Feb 2nd, 2006 12:03 PM
i like the introduce 

Name: tk | Date: Feb 2nd, 2006 12:34 PM
Sara, just a thought grow up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Name: Sara | Date: Feb 2nd, 2006 1:28 PM
You are the one who needs to grow up, just because you dont like someone lses opinion doesnt give you the right to tell them to shut up or grow up. Not everyone agrees with your beliefs and thats life, deal with it. 

Name: Nikki | Date: Feb 2nd, 2006 1:43 PM
God, you're bitter. 

Name: tk | Date: Feb 2nd, 2006 4:18 PM
Sara, maybe you should read my statement I never once said anything about your opinion,nor did I say you had to agree with my beliefs. It sounds like you have a anger problem that needs to be addressed. I was never trying to be rude to you but if that's the way you took it I'm sorry. 

Name: sunshine | Date: Mar 3rd, 2006 2:03 PM
My eall his nxhusband had my daughter c










My exhusband had his current wife called mom by my daughter so his child in current marriage was not confused about his wife's role. This is completely immoral and borders on child abuse, it completely undermines your position with your child
Get a lawyer!!!!!!! [email protected] 

Name: Stacey | Date: Mar 4th, 2006 5:19 PM
Well I must say there are so touchey issues going on here..lol I am a step mom and and ex wife so i see both sides of it. i have three children from a previous marriage and was lucky enough to have a little 3 year old step son, when my husband and I meet the twins were 6 and Jacob my oldest was 9 and the baby which is my step son was 3 .. story goes/ ex wife was remarried the 3 year old called the stepdad a nick name not daddy. When my stepson meet me because of the other children he never called me by my name just mommy. My husbadn and I jsut went with it.. The next time he came ver he said he was not allowed to call me mommy , his mommy was mad i swhat he said. I told him sweetheart if thats what you want to do that thats ok with me .. he said but you are my mommy too .. I told this little it's ok .. years have went by and when he comes i am mommy to him that is what he calls me . he also calls his step dad daddy . I am sure it was hurtfull to the Bio mom and it was hurtful to my husband the first time he heard his son call someelse dad.But it works best for the stepson. Now he just tells everyone he is lucky and has two families 2 moms and 2 dads.. To flip that when my ex remarried and my oldest started saying stuff refering to to new wife as mommy yes I was hurt , I did not love my son any less. as I had to stop and think. ok this women is helping raise my son . if he asks like a mom to him that its ok. it is about making the child happy . thats what it is about.. I will throw in just because our familes between the exwife and the new husband and myself and my husband are ok with the phrase mom and dad.. we still do not get along and she is still mean and hateful to me.. any suggestions on how to deal with a mean and mean ex wife? 

Name: To Stacey | Date: Mar 5th, 2006 12:51 AM
Doesnt this topic have its own post? You dont need to post everywhere. If people want to respond they will respond to the topic you posted. 

Name: mygirl5 | Date: Mar 22nd, 2006 2:02 PM
i have a similar situation . my daughter is five now my ex and i seperated when she was almost 2. well things did'nt work out as planned. we have an agreement that he gets her everyother weekend and birthdays everyother holiday. well this has worked out for the past 3 years til he married this girl. she comes in and completly tries to take over, example cuts her hair without even asking, takes control of displining her and better yet telling my daughter that she needs to come spend more time with her dad, as in come live with them. along with they both live in a different state she is enrolled in school where we live and we have been in same spot since we seperated. so i provide a stable eviroment , they have moved 3 times within the past year.she is in school she is very happy and very secure here. but they have a problem when i remarried. she knew this man as a nickname and called him this from get go . then when we had our other daughter she started to talk and call for daddy. so my 5 year picked it up and it was something she did . well we did not correct it and i know it hurts her real dad, and i have made this very clear to her that he is your real dad and this is your step dad . she can tell me the difference and anyone who is there but her real dad claims that she don't knowthe difference. so what am i to do. i have talked to several people about this and i get no where. But her real dad only gets her every other weekend , and why because , this is what he signed to , not only but he had every oppertunity to visist with her or get her the years before she started school but he didin't
so now she is in school he wanted her more time and him living in one state and we in another it didn't work out. but the step mom really can be over controlling and very rude. but im not one to judge but there is no way we can comprimise and i feel its none of her buisness of how i raise my daughter only concrens her father and i and my daughter. I am not perfect by no means but am i wrong for all of this . my daughter seems to be happy at home and she likes going to her dads . so for the childs best intrest and this is been for almost 2 years now should i all of a sudden stop her from calling her step dad (daddy) just to appease them, because she tells me that they yell at her and correct her about him not being your daddy. so what to do . i feel as i can only explain so much til she gets older. but i do admit we she have corrected the problem when it first began. and we didn't , not because we wanted to hurt anyone its just we didn't think clearly. 

Name: Raquel | Date: Mar 24th, 2006 6:45 PM
Sounds terrible, and confusing for the kids. Why does your ex allow it? Do you have a court order drawn up? If not, I'm not sure what your state does but in ours they have free mediation through the courts prior to getting and after getting the court order to resolve problems like this. It's not acceptable for someone to tell your kids what to call you! 

Name: Jane | Date: Mar 30th, 2006 5:15 AM
yes I seem to have the same issue. my ordeal is trying to live without my children It's been a year now I see my daugther regularly but my son has bee brain washed I'm allowed to see him one day a week please e-mail me back 

Name: Mell | Date: Mar 30th, 2006 9:32 PM
Alot of you sound insecure. I told my step kid they can call me by my first name or Mom what ever is more comfortable for them . Trust me they know who gave birth to them. I do understand that it is hurtful but I think know one should force them to call the ( REAL ) Mom any but MOm that is for sure but If the kids want to call the Step M( Mom ) and they are of age to decide what is the big deal really. I just think it's harder to cal a parent even a Step by the first name. The kids just want to fit in and look (normal) to other people.
And they love the Step like a parent So much so that they want to call her MOM... isn't that a good thing? 

Name: Heidi | Date: Apr 1st, 2006 7:42 AM
You better get used to the fact that you will NEVER fill the ex's shoes! No matter how terrible my ex and his family say his ex was, they still don't hide the fact she is the person that he and they want in there lives. Given the opportuniity my husband would take her back. I'm sorry I didn't catch on before the wedding! 

Name: keya | Date: Apr 4th, 2006 2:17 AM
I think that my children called someone else moma, it wouldn't bother me. Just as long as they don't forget who has raised them. They would have to pay more attention to me than the person they call moma. 

Name: to Mell | Date: Apr 4th, 2006 9:20 PM
No its not a good thing. Theres only one mom and one dad, step parents should be calld by their first name period. 

Name: Mell | Date: Apr 5th, 2006 12:08 PM
Lot of couples when they get call they in law Mmm or Dad. They are not replacing anyone but is letting everyone iknow that they are now all a family. I am not say. I think it is more hurtfull when the kids call the Mother by my first name and yell at them. So they wanted to call me Mom]Idf the kids are interducing me to anyone they say this is my step Mom. But they call me Mom. We had talked to his ex about it she does not care. So When the kids just statred to call me Mom. I explained to them My roll and that I was in no way replaceing the Mother .They knew but feel more comfortable calling me Mom.
I allway think it should be what the kids want when it comes down to this. 

Name: Mof2 | Date: Apr 7th, 2006 9:11 PM
Laurels - You go girl! This is NOT about you, it's about the children and their comfort. Obviously if a child decides to call their step-mom, mom they are comfortable and have a great reationship. That is what is best for the child, right? You wouldn't want your child with someone that treats them badly. Children do what they want to do. And let me tell you something, you may think that because you force them to call whomever whatever at your home, that they will do the same outside your home. Guess what? They don't. They do what they feel comfortable doing and end up regretting you in the end. Let the children be children for crying out loud! 

Name: goul | Date: May 8th, 2006 3:32 AM
Hi, I've read pretty much all of this and I'm going thru a problem maybe someone has the same. I am divorced and re-married I have an 11 year old from my first marraige. My new husband And I have been together for 10 years. My ex is involved in my sons life when He's not in jail. My son is 11 my ex knows him for 4-5 out of his 11 years of life. I have made sure my son has a pretty normal life. He has 3 sets of grandparents and everyone comes to family events. My ex got re-married while his last incarseration. They were going thru a divorce after he got out, they just got back together, we had a friendship because everyone felt it would be better for my son if everyone got along. My ex asked me if he should get back with her and my answer was if she makes you happy that is all that matters. I was just informed on a phone call tonight that I am only to deal with her pertaining to my son. I am no longer to have any contact with him or his family. This is coming from a girl who has just turned 22. Would I be in the right to call her and tell her off? I have made every effort to make my son's life as simple and easy as possable and I feel now this girl is killing it all. 

Name: julie | Date: May 9th, 2006 12:17 PM
i have the same problem with my ex's wife she wants to run my home also,I wish she would have a child or adopt a baby so she would know how good it feels to be a ture mom,remember god is always on your side,he would never let anyone take your child away from your heart and life, what comes around goes around.good luck. 

Name: julie | Date: May 9th, 2006 12:22 PM
on my last note, i had messed up on my spelling.
i meant a TRUE mom. 

Name: Amy | Date: May 11th, 2006 9:07 PM
I could not possibly understand how this could happen in the first place. That woman is not your kids mother, how did this even start? You definately need to have a talk with your ex hubbys wife and if she won't listen take it back to the courts. If you look in your divorce papers it's part of the divorce agreement to not confuse the kids by telling them to call someone else mommy or daddy!!! Take a stand and get your place back!!! 

Name: Serina | Date: May 22nd, 2006 5:36 PM
Found a great web thought I would share with you http://www.worldprayers.org/
This is a pray I needed today so I thought you all might like it too .I am sure you have all heard it before.

God, give us grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and the wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next.
Amen. 

Name: Serina | Date: May 22nd, 2006 5:45 PM
Sorry Pasted it to the wrong web 

Name: Lizzi | Date: May 24th, 2006 3:14 AM
Are they with you on weekends or them? How old are your kids? I would never tolerate my child calling me by my first name. You should have a talk with your ex about it privately. If he is a descent person,he should be able to fix the situation. 

Name: Tamora | Date: Jun 27th, 2006 8:15 AM
My ex remarried a few months ago, they lived together about a year proir. The wife cuts my 3 childrens's hair w/out asking, (dyed my daughter's hair) grounds, punishes, throws away, or gives away clothes I get the kids, degrades me in front of the kids, overrules me, and just makes everything very difficult.
Juat a few weeks ago I found that the wife was grabbing my boys by the face and squeezing hardly (boys ages are 8 and 9)
I talked to my ex, but everytime I try to discuss anything the wife says I am "starting" things. I also want to mention when the wife leaves a voice mail message she says I am a unfit mother, or "be a mom". And this woman has biological children she has either abondended, or can't visit. She informs my children that her ex husband just won't let her see them. 

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