Home » Pick Your Crowd » Divorced Family » feel trapped also

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Name: an

[ Original Post ]

my partner and i currently live together but i feel our relationship is non existent. He is emotionally selfish and can be very angry when confronted about the way he behaves. he has been very posessive to me over the years not to mention emotionally, verbally and physically abusive I am currently pregnant with his second child and he has terated me very badly i have tried to finish the relationship on several occassions but he wont leave me alone. I know he can see that things are a nightmare for me but doesn't seem to know when enough is enough. i am fine on my own i am happy most of the time i dread seeing him when he comes home from work, just the sight of him makes me feel hate and frustration, he can be seem like a normal man somedays and i dont understand who he is at other times feel frustrated why wont he listen to me. ↓

Name: Kim | Date: Feb 14th, 2006 6:48 PM

I was in your shoes a 8 months ago. My husband was mostly emotionally and verbally abusing me. It was so bad that my son suffers from post traumatic stress syndrome and has to be in counseling. I kept thinking that he would change some days were good and other days it was a nightmare. I got to the point that I was suicidal becuase I couldn't take the stress anymore, I had been in counseling also and they helped me think about what was best for me and my children, that by staying with him was making life a horrible place for them to live. They told me I should think about leaving him and told me that there are hotlines for abused wives and they can help you get out of it. I was afraid to do it, didn't think I would be able to but I didn't for my son because he was so unhappy and scared. Now we moved from where we live , live in another state had a TRO put on him and re started our lives over, now I am in the process of divorce and it feels good to not to feel miserable everyday. I think your husband will not change either, no matter how he can be normal on some days, they are just so use to having there way and pushing you and the kids around. You should try to get into some counseling to help you with your feelings and it feels good just to have a support system on your side. ↑

Name: an | Date: Feb 15th, 2006 12:11 AM

I appreciate you sharing your experience with me. Good for you to have got out of the situation I too have attempted suicide in the past felt like it recently too. I think that things can get better he says he doesn't mean to do these things i hate not having control of my own feelings. ↑

Name: Fiona | Date: Feb 20th, 2006 11:14 AM

It sounds like he may have a personality disorder. Try a search on Goggle for Bullying and Narcissistic Personality Disorder as bullies often suffer from this.

He will never change and you are the only one who can make the decision to leave and end the relationship. You deserve better than to be treated like this.

If you want to leave then make some plans to do it properly - so that he can't find/harrass you. Go and see a lawyer, find a refuge or enlist the help of friends of family. Make a plan to get out and stick to it. If he's physically violent the call the Police and have him arrested and prosecuted. Fight back and keep on fighting until you're safe.

There is a life beyond this vile bully - and you need to go and find it! You deserve much better than the life you have now. Don't feel guilty - just see him for the pondlife he is and show him no mercy. ↑