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Its simple- your boy feels secure staying with you and hubby. He sees his step dad as dad and is clearly telling you he does not want to go to his bio dad--
What would happen if you acknowledged the boys wishes and stopped insisting he goes when it sounds like his being is screaming I DO NOT WANT TO GO?. [ this i would find heart breaking. Your ex is the grown up here and responsible for HIS relationship with son-not YOU. How would you know what is going on when you are not in the room?
The bio dad needs to put more effort in, not you, certainly not your son.
Focus on your sons well-being -Take the PRESSURE that you are putting your son under ( to spend time with a man who he saw threaten to kill his mum) OFF.
The onus to build a relationship with your son is with his biological dad. Concerned re exes feelings? thats his business. ↑ |
im 29 & goin thru exactly the same with my 4 year old. He hates his "dad" tells him everytime he see's him. He used to be phsyically, mentally & verbally abusive to our then 15month old son, he witnessed him punch me & knock me out. Goin thru court he has failed 2 drug tests & had to have supervised visits for over a year - court now would "like things to move on" despite being a druggie! He now has 2 hours unsupervised with my precious baby. The visits dont go well at all, my son is distraught wen he returns home, begs me not to make him go, he is 4 year old and starts working himself up from Wednesday about the visiting on a Saturday!!! he comes home crying, abusive, angry and generally awful. ive also had a long term problem with him eating, he just wont eat. Ive had enuf now, im putting my foot right down. Ive told my 4 year old im sorry for making him go (i always felt cos of court i had to make him go) but im gonna start listening to him & not going to make him go anymore if he doesnt want to. Saturday gone, i listened to my son and he didnt go, since then he has been the nicest most loving boy in the world, he's polite to ppl, even started eating meals!!!! the difference in him has been remarkable & noticed by every1. So please think of your precious boy, your his only protection the 1 he looks to for help, he is asking you for help same as my boy was. Listen to your boy is all i can say. I will do jail if i have to but im listening to my baby & respecting his wishes. Sod to every1 else, in time when our boys are older they may want for themselves to get to know their "dads"! but least it will be their own choice. Good luck. x ↑ |
Is your sons dad abusing him? ↑ |