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Name: jamie

[ Original Post ]

My heart is breaking. My husband of 28 years has decided he is not sure he wants to stay married to me. We have 2 beatiful daughters, 17 and 21 and had what I thought was a good, strong marriage. He had an affair 3 years ago with a 25 yr. old co-worker and we worked through it, but looking back I see now that I have been controlling and mean to him. He says I have whittled his heart down to nothing. He is still living at home and indicates he is weeks or months away from making a decision but how do I hang on in the meantime? We are seeing a counselor at my urging, but I feel like he has distanced himself from me already. He says he still loves me and I love him. We are under a lot of financial pressure right now , he has switched jobs within his company and he is unhappy in his new position. I am a nervous wreck but he told me to give him space and time;however all I want to do is cling to him.I want him to say he will stay but he can't say those words right now. I'm devastated. ↓

Name: Jennifer | Date: Jun 13th, 2006 11:52 PM

hang in there lady! he sounds like a grade a jerk, keep yourself busy and show him that you will be fine no matter what happens because you will be! there are many other women on this forum going through similar things. ↑

Name: BETH | Date: Jun 14th, 2006 2:56 AM

WOW. i'VE BEEN MARRIED FOR 23 YEARS AND WE HAVE 3 CHILDREN 22,18, &14. mY HUSBAND JUST LEFT ME FOR A WOMAN HE MET ON LINE IN THE PAST 8 MONTHS. I DIDN'T SEE IT COMMING. i'M SO PISSED HE COULD GO OFF LIKE THAT AND DEVISTATE HIS FAMILY. HOW COULD SOMEONE BE SO OFF THE WALL TO LEAVE THEIR CHILDREN AND THINK THAT IT IS OKAY TO UPSET SO MANY LIVES. SINCE HE LEFT I AM GOING TO COUNCELING MYSELF AND TALKING TO FRIENDS AND TAKINGCARE OF BUILDING MYSELF UP TO NOT NEED HIM EXCEPT FOR KEEPING PEACE FOR THE KIDS SAKE. THERE IS NOTHING ANYONE CAN DO TO MAKE SOMEONE ELSE STAY WHERE THEY DON'T WANT TO BE. ALL YOU CANDO IS TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AND BE WHO YOU ARE FOR YOU AND LEARN THAT YOU CAN BE A WHOLE PERSON BY YOURSELF. GO TO COUNCELING FOR YOURSELF AND LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF AND BE YOUR OWN PERSON. THEN FOCUS ON LETTING OTHERS IN. ↑

Name: scrappy | Date: Jun 16th, 2006 6:01 AM

I just found this forum. My husband too no longer wants to be married after 15 years. I wondered if I was crazy. How could he just quit? I have a 6 year old daughter. I just moved out to another city to follow his career and the day after we arrive he drops the bomb.
I am so happy to find this forum because I am in a new place all alone and devistated. I too want to work on it and he refuses. I am so sorry that all of you are going through something similar. I too thought we would make it. Boy, was I ever wrong. Now I am alone, devistated and have no one. ↑

Name: jamie | Date: Jun 16th, 2006 11:49 AM

I am so sorry you are going thru this, too. It hurts. Is there anyway you can take your daughter and move back, perhaps closer to friends and family? You need a strong support system.
Take care of yourself , get some counseling and do the best you can to make it thru each day. ↑

Name: Nurrr | Date: Jun 18th, 2006 7:38 PM

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