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Name: jeff

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i currently have a 11 month old son with an ex girlfriend but she says where casual dating as she trys to find herself and i have to prove to her this list of stuff before we can be back to a couple which i dont get but anyways i messed up on trying to hide something in my past from her i know im ganna catch alot of grief but i told her that i spent time in the marines instead of all reality i went to prison for a dumb mistake i make when i was 19 we got seriouse fast and had a kid on the way and i didnt want to lose them i know what i did was wrong not only to her but to the many people that are out there really in the service but also during the whole time she said that i was 90% of the problems that we had an that we where always fighting wich to my belief i didnt know that telling your oppinion or what you think is fighting i may be wrong but anywas when our son or if you look at it from my eyes her and her families son she took him when he was 8 months old and filed for full sole custody becouse she says i dont try hard enuff when it came to him needing something i always did what was in my power to get him what he needed that kid never went without see im a union roofer and when i worked she loved the money but when i got laid off i did nuthing to help her with the kid as she says so now she is living with her parents agine since this child is born see when she was preg she went to live with her grandparents becosue i lived on a third floor apt and she didnt want to climb the stairs wich i to a point can understand so when it came to him being born i stayed in the hospital with her for two weeks a week before she had to be induced wich was a nightmare they had to induce her then her mom wanted her on that spinal tap stuff to ease the pain well when the docs broke her water and was trying to help him line up for his big world intrance her mom would have the doc stop ( people for what reason i do not know but why would you do that?) anyways her family mainly her mom gave me alot of grief for not being at the bed side when the whole time there was never room for me there her mom and her family was there 27/7 then when it came to the c section her mom got mad becouse only one person was allowed in there an i was going she told me as soon as the child was born i better let her back there to see him now this being my first son i didnt go get her i held that boy close to me and thanked god for a gift i stayed the hospital for the wek after helping take care of him becouse she was in alot of pain when they released her she went srtaight to her moms for three weeks becouse of my apt so her mom could take care of our son and thats where the real story starts he wasnt doing the nipple thing so i said maybe we should just go to bottle but her mom told her to keep trying in the first week he was born her droped 2 pounds becouse of that and i kept stating my oppinion finaly she did cause she said her mom said too finally after much complaining on my half she moved in with me and hell begain she was texting her ex bf about or probs and she was ganna take our son and leave she didnt want to live in the apt so we started to look for house none that was nice and decent shape fit into our budget so my uncle rented a house to us for 500 a month wich was realy nice anyways i went to work one day and came home and her stuff and the kid things where gone she moved into her parents now im not saying im perfect cuz i know im not and i had my faults wich ive appologized for and try to make right now at her moms i cant stay the night i get to see him sat noon to 8 sunday 5-8 and monday 7-8 becouse thats the days her mom decided i can come over she makes the choices for my son and if i say something she tells laura my ex not to do it so when did becoming a grandma make you have the right to make choices for me and my ex i know where when the ex at 30 still hasent cut her embilical cord from her family i can only see my son if my ex isnt busy with her family or her mom says i can come over my ex says shes trying but i dont see it she gets mad at me if i dont say i love u or hold her hand wich none of this she can do if her family is around at times i just want to give up on her and my son becouse i dont want to put him threw this and her coming from a single mom family wich may i say her at 30 still takes showers and slepps in her moms bed if hse has nightmares shes told me weird huh? but i feel i just wanna give up on it all let her have custody and pray our son turns out good the stress and sadness kills me everyday ive lost my job i cant sleep i dont eat and i cry at night when i have to leave him or i look at his pic im just an empty black hole all of this leading up to my plea of what do i do i need help i need guidence and im alone to hold all this in me not knowing what to do ↓

Name: Me_lisa | Date: Nov 17th, 2011 8:55 PM

First thing is DO NOT GIVE HER FULL CUSTODY . You need to find out what ur state guideline's are for child custody. You can go into your local county attorneys office and they can get you numbers for free help and point you in the right direction. Check ur state custody rights on line also. Most the time men get screwed, because they try to play good guy and the mother knows how to get her way. Sounds like you need to break everything off with her and concentrate on your child. She sounds like shes done with you and only wanted you around for your money. Just remember its always easier to have custody on paper even if ur not able to carry out what the visitations are cause if you try to take her back to court and change them it's super hard to get a judge to change the papers. What I mean by this is (you might get every other weekend and 2 weeks in the summer and every other holiday) Say you work weekends and you think you will never be able to get your child, agree to it cause you can look for a different job at the same time. So you have to agree on some sort of visitations anyways. Watch out for the mother-inlaw she seem to have alot of influence on her daughter and will try to talk her into not letting you have any rights. there are alot of things you can put into custody papers! Like phone calls you can request you be able to call the child 3 times a day, you also can put into the papers that neither party can move or take the child out of state with out 2 weeks notice to both parties and it be reviewed by the judge.Just be sure to have 50/50 and she will prob want to be listed as primary custodian. That just means She takes responsibility for the child when it comes to all doc visits and she enrolls the child into school, the child would reside in the mothers home and you would have visitations. You need to be healthy for your child and happy for your child! Always remember if your not happy it shows and your children can see it before anyone else! I have plenty of advise on this because I have been through it twice myself and 3 times with my sister so I promise you when I say I can help and know lots of ways around things. Melisa [3 ↑