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Name: Lesli
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Name: nancy heap | Date: May 24th, 2010 8:51 PM
I am having a very simalar problem too! He is just the same with the video games, has no college, etc. I have been trying to urge him to get into college, he doesn't do much around the house for cleanup. I am exasperated. Were in the army, newly married, and trying to get out of debt on top of that, he wastes extra money he does manage to come by, says it was on food and gas, yet were running low on groceries, in the fridge, its cuz he want to go out to eat by himself all the time, and I have been the only one who has been buying the groceries! It is getting to where I believe I made a mistake with his dumbass! 

Name: Janet | Date: Jul 19th, 2010 1:59 PM
It doesn't get better 

Name: Dawn | Date: Aug 2nd, 2010 3:43 AM
I found myself in a similar situation a few years ago. It took my husband EIGHT years to finish school. I begged him to finish. I had his mother beg him to finish. I was eager to start a family and finishing what we start is a value I plan on passing along to our children. Now my husband has his degree and continues to work for $10-$11 per hour. I am caring for our son and supporting us. It is a tough place to be. 

Name: kimi | Date: Sep 7th, 2010 10:29 AM
Sorry for what you are going through, but, u know something a man like that doesn't deserve happiness. i am not sure but i think he is not a happy person, you know why? if you have notice every time you do something and you do it good it automatically brings a smile in your face. and he did not do anything soo... i know u got it. 

Name: Helper | Date: Oct 18th, 2010 11:49 AM
Get a divorce! 

Name: Been there | Date: Oct 31st, 2010 9:20 AM
Sounds like things are totally out of control. Believe me, I know how hard it is and I know what you don't want to hear. The reality is his behavior requires an ultimatum.... Either he step up and act like an adult or you will leave him. And unfortunately he will not comply. Move on!!!! Dump the loser


Th 


Name: Been There | Date: Oct 31st, 2010 9:35 AM
Girls, been there myself. But let us not complicate the picture because it is quite simple. The man is a loser and will make your life a living hell and you know this. He will never change so despite the challenges that will be ahead, DO IT!! LEAVE!!! In 2 years all will be much better. Your on a sinking Titanic and time to get yourself and children in a lifeboat. 

Name: kim | Date: Nov 7th, 2010 11:17 PM
Trust me! This guy will never change I have been in that kind of relationship for 25 years. He has sat on the couch through holidays, birthdays, funerals, weddings. You name it. Live your life the way you want to. You only go around once. The years will fly by before you know it. Some men just don't deserve a good wife. Leave the Loser!! 

Name: Tracy | Date: Mar 5th, 2011 9:26 PM
Second husband same crap lazy butt no vision for the future everywhere women are saying the same things. When are we going to wake up and care for our needs and say to heck with them we have kids to raise. We know our strength and if we don't we need to reclaim our value as women dump the bums and move on raising another generation to be better than their fathers. Accountability ladies, we are responsible for our own lives and if they are not a part of the joy what are they? Of course I say all this after several kids and too many second third and millionth chances they will never get it. We deserve better and as for me I intend to get it by moving on with my life and dumb bum can keep missing the point all alone by himself.
We all deserve better. 

Name: meghan | Date: Apr 2nd, 2011 1:30 PM
I'm a newly married 28 year old women. I went to trade school and am the main income for my household. My husband made a very good wage in construction when we first started dating and when the economy fell apart he was let go. He now has a decent job, it has benefits which mine does not. He also helps around the house. My problem is that he has no motivation to further his education or career. He dropped out of highschool at his jr year and started in on construction. I truley believe that he has a self worth problem. He doesn't believe he can do it or he's worth the effort. My husband is a amazing man but has a very laid back attitude and just wants to float through life.. he truley believes everything will work out. I have such high standards for myself and want to be able to be the jones.... not the ones that are trying to keep up. I really need to get him motivated but I think he's scarred. I wanna have a baby in the next few years and I'm very traditional in the sense that I want a man that can take care of me and my children.. especially if something were to happen to me. I want to be able to take some time off when I have the baby but can't save enough for that and pay the bills and save for a down payment on a house and utilities and rent . Its a lot of stress and I think I'm unraveling... while he's out kayaking because he gets off at two in the afternoon. I want to give him his dreams but can he help to give me mine.... I want a equal partner... its just hard to find out what that equal is. It sucks to say but if he made what I make 60k a year it would make it so much easier to do it all. 

Name: kelly | Date: May 21st, 2011 6:22 PM
Get rid of him now before its too late. I've been married for 35 years and his laziness never gets better, it gets worse. I am finally thinking that I would be better off now without the lazy bum and staying with him. He does nothing. If he says he will get to it, takes so long, I end up doing it. I finally gave him ONE job, to make coffee every day and he always tries to get me to make it once in a while now. I think the end is near. Don't let it happen to you. 

Name: mtgirl | Date: May 31st, 2011 7:22 PM
You should use the money for you to go to school, get a good job, then dump him and let him know he had the chance and wasted it. 

Name: Sarah | Date: Jul 6th, 2011 1:37 PM
Lesli:
I am in a similar situation right now. No kids but my (new) husband will not get a job.

My story is a little different. I gave up high paying job, my apartment, my car to move OVERSEAS with him. You'd thinking giving it all up to be with a very smart fun guy in Europe would be most women's dream - its not. Its HARD WORK. I'm the only one working and we are living with his mother.

He is supposed to be finishing his university degree but every time I go into the living room he's playing games or watching a movie. He says the job market is so bad here that he can't even get a part time job and I have suggested several times that we go back to the US to work for while but I never get a good reason why we can't from him.

I work online and frankly am sick of being the only one busting my ass.

I'm sorry I can't provide any advice but I hope that both of our situations turn out for the best. [3 Lots of support. Take care of yourself. 

Name: Dina | Date: Oct 18th, 2011 3:31 PM
I have this saying I try to live by...I could do bad all by myself...I don't need company. In other words you can take better care of yourself by yourself. Its obvious that your guy is selfish and takes you for granted. If you have constantly let him know how you feel and he doesn't budge...he is taking you for granted. Now the question becomes what is your worth? Is this the life you want? People don't usually change unless they fear losing something. Your baby is still young and won't really feel or remember this time...so if your're brave enough to leave and make the life you deserve then now is the time. Don't wait hoping things will change or get better because they usually don't, you just get used to that treatment. Good luck and remember to love yourself first. 

Name: Adam | Date: Oct 18th, 2011 3:43 PM
I was just reading all the replies and it makes me so sad for these women...why do you put up with these behaviors? Don't you love yourself? Don't you know you are a goddess of sorts? You are the continuer of LIFE...a mother, like nature! You possess so much power and not just between your legs!!! Phenomenal Woman, that's YOU! Start acting like you know who you are! 

Name: dontwanna say | Date: Dec 31st, 2011 3:32 PM
all my husband does is play video games, and sleep.. I am soooooooo tired if his ways it is driving me right out the door. we dont spend time together and we dont do alot of things together as a family i do things with my kids like a single parent 

Name: carly | Date: Jan 4th, 2013 6:49 PM
Well ur husband is selfish and mean...u have been very kind and tolerant to him. I think its high time u should do something. Just ask him to leave. That will teach him a lesson n ya before u do that thrash his video games with a sledge hammer. 

Name: Joan | Date: Jan 30th, 2013 4:59 PM
You are dealing with a teenager man as I call them. Lazy men who act like teenagers not wanting to be responsible and want to just have fun. First step your husband is playing a game with you. He knows that you don't have the will nor patience to wait for him to get his lazy ass around to do stuff. So he waits it out because eventually he knows you will do it anyways. And you have been. Secondly you need to beat him at this game, it may be hard but it will pay off because you are going to send a strong message that you are not a sucker. Stop doing the stuff for school for him, if he really wants to go let him do the foot work. If he misses deadlines and enrollment that is just one more reason for you to be upset with him. Second take his games and get rid of them, hide them where he will not find them. Or open it up and break it when he is not around. When he complains or gets angry and he will you let him know that there are far more important things you need him to do, like take care of your son while you decorate. Kick the two of them out of the house with the grocery list. I find if you ask a guy to do something for you and he is willing to help, leave him to do it alone, dont talk to them, dont help in anyway because that is just an excuse to get lazy and do a half ass job. Your husband sees you as a mother figure, you need to make him feel the ideas are his and let him do it on his own. 

Name: enid | Date: May 31st, 2014 10:18 PM
divorce him, you go to school 

Name: enid | Date: May 31st, 2014 10:19 PM
divorce him.You go to school 

Name: enid | Date: May 31st, 2014 10:20 PM
divorce him and you go to school and make a life for your son and yourself 

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