|
we have been married for 10 years, 3 boys (6,7,9).Just find out (2 months ago) that she was sheating on me for the past 2 years.She never told me, but I had a feeling. I have to find out myself and do research .She still in contact with him.She told me she doesn't want to break the family but wants to keep him as a friend (she is hidding second phone and they are keeping calling to each other).I am still in love with her and does not want to divorce because of the childrens (which they are not aware of the situation).What should I do? ↓
|
|
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Nov 18th, 2006 10:13 PM |
| Staying in a broken marriage for the sake of the children is just dumb. Why would you even want to stay with a wife who has another man? You will only be miserable because you have a constant reminder of it day in and day out. Divorce is painful I'm sure but wouldn't you much rather deal with the pain of it now instead of holding on to false hopes and facing the inevitable later? Your kids can sense things too you know. They probably know more than you think. ↑ |
| Name: fancy | Date: Nov 18th, 2006 10:15 PM |
| Hi have you tried talking to her on your feelings and maybe try to get couseling for both of you I would also let her know she is breaking the family when she invited this person into her life and the children always can tell when something is wrong mine can and you never want to stay together just because of the kids because it never works out mainly I would try to seek cousneling for both of you if this was me I wouldnt want to stay with someone if he cheated on me how can you trust them again and I believe the kids will if not already feel something thats not right mine did when there dad and I were having trouble before he left but they never said a word but watch out for them because this will hurt them more then you or your wife good luck with what ever you decide I hope I helped if any ↑ |
| Name: M | Date: Nov 18th, 2006 11:49 PM |
| Kick her sorry ass out the door!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ↑ |
| Name: Courtwinner | Date: Dec 15th, 2006 7:18 AM |
| I must agree with Lizzi, for children to live in a home like that is not fair to them. Life is toshort, you only have one life. Eventually you children will get old enough to figure it out if the oldest has not already. Just my opinion but once a cheater always a cheater. For you wanting to stay in the marraige I would suggest you do some soul searching and start loving yourself more than her. It's time to move on with your life, open that door for a loving caring and loyal women that can and wants to be faithful. You have the proof now on her so why are you waiting. Staying another day is one day to long. Go file for divorce and throw her out. The children stay in your custody until the hearing. Whoever has possession of the children is who keeps them during divorce. Let her go live with her lover. As far as her not wanting to break up the happy family, well she already did that when she gave herself the permission to committ adultry. Get her gone and get child support Sounds like your the one with the morals which is a good role model. ↑ |
| Name: ally murphy | Date: Dec 15th, 2006 9:38 AM |
Dont stay together for the children sake.
Belive me my mum stayed with my dad and he was cheating on her and our home life was horrible.
Im looking at this from a childs point of view im 19.
My mum and dad split up in the end and it was so much better.
xx ↑ |
| Name: tweetybird4 | Date: Dec 16th, 2006 3:24 AM |
| To Ludo---First of all, you need to look back at your relationship with your wife to find out exactly when and how things went wrong. What stopped the spark between you two??? Now, examine everything that has happen between the beginning and the actions that are occuring now. Something or someone has cause the deterioration in the relationship. Okay, now, you may have suspiscion about possible infidelity but if she is continuing to keep the communication with this fella/friend then chances are she is looking for a way out of yours/her relationship. Now, in order to keep her on your side, what is it that you need to change that will make her stay? What is it that you can think of that she has given you subtle signs about changing? Finances, affection, appreciation, love, intimacy, etc.????? These are things you need to look at as to why she was willing to stray away from you. I'm sorry if my words are so hurting to you. I know exactly how you feel. Yet, the most important thing you have to remember is despite what your wife has done or is doing, these are her choices---not yours. Your have to know how to handle it all. If she is unwilling to commit to you whole heartedly, then she isn't going to commit to you later on down the road. She has found fault or has been looking for fault to get away from you. Believe me---I'm speaking from experience. I have given my ex many, many, many warning signs that things weren't right between us and yet, he thought when I filed for divorce it was all news to him. Yet, I found out after I divorced him that he has cheated on me several times especially to one of my best friends. Knowing this I had to let it go. Making light to him or her about it would only create denal. I had three children to boot. I understand you love her lots but you need to face the fact that she may not be in love with you. I'm sorry if what I've said hurts but this is what you will go through. Now, you have to be a very, very strong parent for your children's sake. Show them the love you have despite what their mother thinks. Try not to be vindictive but don't allow yourself to go through the cleaners either. All I can say is try and be fair. Unless your wife tries to be vindictive---meaning not be cooperative to the laws, then you will have a legitament gripe. Try to move on with your life---it will save you and your children in the long run especially if you have an uncooperative parent. I wish you well and please keep us posted. Please understand I mean no disrespect to you, I'm sure you are a wonderful father!!!!!!!!! ↑ |
|
|
