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Name: Daisy-UK
[ Original Post ]
So as you all know, hubby and I have been ttc since last October. We haven't really been doing all we can because we've had such a crazy life since the mc. First we were forced to close our business or risk a million dollar lawsuit, then get the house ready for sale, packing up for overseas, packing up for temp stay in Pittsburgh, then moving to the UK and settling in. It's been crazy and I finally felt good last cycle.

I have always had irregular cycles, maybe 4 a year. So getting pregnant with Ethanael was a blessing, we weren't trying and I was working away from home, so sex was only once a week. Then we decided to try when he was 9 months which was April last year. We got pregnant on the second cycle. I actually couldn't believe that I was having a regular cycle after his birth, wow! Then only to lose the baby at 11 weeks.

Ever since the mc, my cycles are about 40 to 50 days long, but last month my cycle was only 32 days, so I thought, maybe it will be short this month. NO, I'm on cd 32 and I still haven't ovulated! I'm so upset because my hubby and I have been going at it all week because I've had so much cervical mucus knowing that I would ovulate the next day. Normally, I only have one day of egg white. But last month started taking extra vit b and it looks as though that's helping.

My problem is now, I will probably ovulate today (I hope), but I think our chances will be slim. We had sex late wed night around midnight, but not last night, we were just too exhausted. We're going to try again tonight, but it may be too late to catch it. Guess we'll find out in about 2 weeks.

I'm just so frustrated with my body. This is the first time I've been upset with this. As soon as you get used to one thing in your cycle, something else changes. I don't feel stressed and really don't want to hear....you need to relax...because the bottom line is, you still want to get pregnant and of course you're going to be thinking of it.

Just like everyone says Mom to be got pregnant because she relaxed. Possibly, but she still tested and had sex when needed. I'm not being negative about that, quite the contrary.

I'm so happy for Christianmommy, Logan, Vane, and now M2B.

I just think, will I every have a baby again, is this it for us. I try to stay strong and place it in God's Will, but struggle to do that. My hubby and I have agreed with no medical intervention because it's up to God if we get pregnant. But why some and not others? That's a question that will be with me forever.

Sorry so long, but I trust you ladies and just needed to get it off my chest.

Thanks everybody for listening.
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Name: briseis | Date: Jun 15th, 2007 11:22 AM
Daisy,
I'm sorry you're feeling so low; you've been through so much lately, so it's little wonder you feel so down. And getting pregnant now would be amazing for you. I can see that. I also have irregular cycles. Some cycles lasted 42 days, some lasted 50 days. Before I became pregnant, like you, even though I tried testing, I had no idea when I ovulated. Sometimes my period would come up to a week earlier than it had the month before. Other times it would be up to 2 weeks later than it had the month before, and so I was actually pregnant for a number of weeks before I even bothered testing.

I stopped testing in the middle of October last year; my beloved dog - Bono - passed away after a long battle with heart disease, and I took it very badly. Mark and I stopped getting along as much as we were, so we rarely had sex. I lost all interest in anything else, even my work. I wasn't testing or temping. I took my last period in November, and it was mid January before I realised that I was later than normal combined with nausea and vomiting, and decided to eliminate the idea that I might be pregnant by testing, and sure enough I was pregnant! My conception date dates to a normal 28 day cycle, where I ovulated 2 weeks after my last period, which NEVER NEVER happened for me, ever! I'd read 'Taking Charge of Your Fertility' from start to finish; I know I was temping right. But it took me to stop temping to become pregnant, and the weirdest thing is ... I don't even remember my fiancÚ and I having sex once in December. I was severely depressed, and if we did have sex, it would have been just the once, and that one random sex act where we weren't even trying was all it took.

I don't believe in temping or cervical mucus testing anymore. As far as I'm concerned, had I been just randomly having sex with my partner once or twice a week in a loving and relaxed way, instead of religiously sticking a thermometer in my mouth every morning for several months, my baby would be long since born now.

Maybe this is only true for me ... who knows? And I'm not suggesting you stop temping or testing. But I just thought I'd let you know my experience to if nothing else, let you know that I understand how difficult it is to conceive when you have irregular cycles; I'm sure it doesn't mean that you can't get pregnant again. It may just mean that it'll take slightly longer for you, as it did for me. x 

Name: 04nidak | Date: Jun 15th, 2007 1:11 PM
Daisy....I know exactly where you are coming from. My husband and I have been trying since this past December for baby #2 and it's sooo frustrating! It took us over a year to have the first one and we actually quit trying, I went back on the pill and then found out I was pregnant. I also have irregular cycles like you and actually just finished up a dose of prometrium because I haven't had a period since March 2. My doctor told me that I have PCOS and I don't ovulate regularly so if I wasn't pregnant in a few months she would put me on clomid. Just like you said, I don't want any medical interventions either. It's so hard not to think about having another baby, it's all I think about, but I'm starting to think that it may not happen! I am telling you all this because I want you to know that you are not alone, not at all!!!

From what I've read over the years, if you had sex late Wednesday night and you do in fact ovulate today, there is still a pretty good chance that it could take. I'm very sorry about the MC you had, I couldn't imagine going through that and I truly hope that you find yourself pregnant soon. Best wishes!!! 

Name: Jessi R | Date: Jun 15th, 2007 2:42 PM
I'm so sorry to hear about your mc and troubles while ttc.. I myself am having some trouble, and I haven't had any children yet. My doc is so quick to want to run some tests and get my hubby checked, I too don't want any medical push, let God or whoever it is running the show do his job...

Just wanted to let you know that even though I have never conceived or have any children, I feel the pain of trying and nothing happening.. some people just need to look at each other and they're pregnant, while us others have to try so hard. And you're right, you can't just "not" stress about it, I asked my doctor if stress is really what my issue is. She simply stated: Jess, you're trying to have a child, that's going to be stressful whether you are thinking about it or not... I can tell you not to think about it but you're going to, that's what the process of "trying" is all about... Just quit listening to what others have to say and do your thing. I don't know if THAT helps you, but it helped me.

Good luck with everything, it'll happen soon enough (for all of us hopefully) :)

PS: I'm moving in 2 weeks and that's right after I ovulate - my odds for this month suck lol... I'm an idiot 

Name: Daisy-UK | Date: Jun 15th, 2007 10:45 PM
Thanks so much for the support. I still haven't ovulated but think my peak cm was tonight so we had sex for good measure. We don't make it clinical, it's still good sex, no matter how tired we are. Hopefully, my temp will go up in the morning.

This is our last month of going like this along with the temping. There comes a time when I guess I have to let that go. Will probably have withdrawl symptoms. It's so funny because my toddler will put the them. in his mouth to take his temp.

I know I'm so blessed to have them and love everymoment of it. I can't imagine how heartbreaking it must be to ttc your first and struggling. At the same time this baby is equally wanted.

I pray that all the ttc ladies' dreams come true very soon. Most of you know mom2be's story and has really become a source of hope and inspiration.

briseis, so sorry about your pup, he'll always be in your heart and you can take him with you wherever you are.

o4nikak, my head tells me I would love to try clomid, but it's something that my husband and I have agree on not trying......no medical intervention. My big struggle. I hope you don't get to the point where you have to use it and God blesses you with number 2.

Jess, I like what your doc said about not trying. It will always be in the back of your head. I'm so sorry you're having the same problem. Does suck about you missing this month. We missed a couple with the 2 moves.

Hopefully, I will ovulate today and then we'll know in a few weeks. I have my hpt's ready, got the clearblue plus minus, but I'm not going to take them until, well, if I'm late.

Thanks again for the support, it means the world to me 

Name: KarenM | Date: Jun 16th, 2007 12:40 AM
Hiya Daisy, I am sorry to hear about your struggles of late. I know you had a lot going on lately and I hope your stress levels have gone down a bit. It's perfectly normal to get frustrated. I too am in the same boat...maybe not so much stress, but we're trying for number two and have been since January. We are also moving within the next few weeks so I am packing and trying to sell our home too. I laugh at myself every month as I near my period...I think oooo I feel nauseous, that's a good sign...or oooo my boobs are a little sore, and then my period comes. I guess all I am trying to say is I can relate to the pressure and frustration, and know that we are always here to listen. 

Name: veronim | Date: Jun 16th, 2007 1:17 AM
A big storm approaches. The weatherman urges everyone to get out of town. The priest says, "I won't worry, God will save me".
The morning of the storm, the police go through the neighborhood with a sound truck telling everyone to evacuate. The priest says "I won't worry, God will save me".
The storm drains back up and there is an inch of water standing in the street. A fire truck comes by to pick up the priest. He tells them "Don't worry, God will save me."
The water rises another foot. A National Guard truck comes by to rescue the priest. He tells them "Don't worry, God will save me."
The water rises some more. The priest is forced up to his roof. A boat comes by to rescue the priest. He tells them "Don't worry, God will save me."
The water rises higher. The priest is forced up to the very top of his roof. A helicopter comes to rescue the priest. He shouts up at them "Don't worry, God will save me."
The water rises above his house, and the priest drowns.
When he gets up to heaven he says to God "I've been your faithful servant ever since I was born! Why didn't you save me?"
God replies "First I sent you a fire truck, then the national guard, then a boat, and then a helicopter. What more do you want from me!!??"

Daisy - Maybe clomid is your rescue helicopter? 


Name: Logan | Date: Jun 16th, 2007 3:36 AM
Daisy, nice to hear from you again, I will be praying for you!
I am 28 weeks and 5 days now. Its a boy! Not so sure if you knew or not.
Go to my journal so you can see photos of the 4D ultrasound we had done this past weekend.

Hang in there!!! It will come soon!! :o) 

Name: vane20 | Date: Jun 16th, 2007 3:02 PM
DAISY!!!!! [[many hugs]]

hang in there girlie...im sorry you are not feeling so good, but your time WILL come. Leave it to God, He knows exactly when the perfect time for you to be pregnany will be. I also thought i would never get pregnant...i couldn't SEE myself pregnant again ever. But now, this belly keep growing and i cant believe im gonna be 6 months on Monday.

M2B fell pregnant, and i have a feeling YOU will be next. Hang in there and we are all here for you. = ) 

Name: Daisy-UK | Date: Jun 17th, 2007 8:02 AM
I can't believe how far along you ladies are, seems like yesterday you just found out.

Well, I threw out my thermometor, so no more temping. Hasn't been easy, severe withdrawl symptoms but no way am I digging that out of the trash!!!!!! I can do it.

So I'll just have to wait it out and see if af shows up or not. Not sure if I have ovulated or not. Waiting game.

Thanks for all the support. I'm going to share that story about the flood with my hubby and see what he says but I think maybe it's time to move on from ttc. I'll have to see how I'm feeling next month.

God bless 

Name: 04nidak | Date: Jun 17th, 2007 2:13 PM
Daisy--Don't give up hope! Take a break if you need to, but don't give up! You were blessed with one beautiful baby and I'm sure that when the time is right, you will be blessed with another!

I have people who tell me that all the time and sometimes it makes me feel better and sometimes it make me want to smack them. I hope it makes you feel better! :-)

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it will happen for you soon and sending lots of babydust your way! 

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