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Name: luzy4
[ Original Post ]
hi..i want it to write a little of what happen to me..i have 3 beautiful children,and i was pregnant with my 4th child i was 3 1/2 moths pregnant when the doctor told me theres was no heart beat,this has being the worths thing in my life that has ever happen to me..i cry at night when my husband and kids cant hear me its very depressing to me, to think i could of have my baby on my arms but thats not possible..my baby dus date was on 1/5/2011:( and it breaks my heart to know that my husband dosent want to have another baby i feel like he dosent understands what i feel,,everytime i talk about us having another baby he either tells me no or just makes this face like he dosent wanna hear it or talk about it..what should i do..sometimes i feel like aim gonna go crazy for not having my baby with me..i wish it was here and have it in my arms..please anymore help me and give me your opinion..
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Name: joeys_mam | Date: Apr 26th, 2011 7:05 PM
I can understand why you want a baby to fill the void in your life from losing your 4th child. I'm so sorry about that. :-(

However, I think you need to grieve for your lost child and you need time to do that, and perhaps someone to talk to. It's important that you go through this process for you to move on. A new baby will give you something to look forward to but it won't replace the one you lost and you need to grieve for that baby and come to terms with the loss before you have another.

This is just my opinion. Good luck x 

Name: XandirsMummy | Date: May 3rd, 2011 4:42 AM
I totally agree with joeys_mam.
I lost my 1st baby & all I wanted to do was have another 1, so I got pregnant only a few months later (worst chooice ever) I wasn't ready for another baby & my body wasn't ready for another pregnancy & I lost that 1 too.
It made me think there must be something wrong with me & I wasn't meant to have kids. So I gave up on the idea, dealt with the loss of my 1st 2, now I'm 6 months pregnant with a healthy baby boy & I'm glad I waited & got a chance to get through what happend with my other 2.

You could never replace the baby you've lost so you just need to give it time, let yourself understand what's really happend & deal with the hurt anger & emptiness you're feeling.

If you rush into anything you will make it worse.

And as for your husband, you may find he really does NOT want to talk about it because it's hurting him alot too & he can't explain how or why it hurts. And he can't really talk to you about what he's going through 'cause he feels that'd just hurt you & make things worse for you.

My 1st babys father stoped talking to me for a whole month after it passed away. Then when he finally did he explained to me that he didn't want to hurt me by talking about it & it really hurt him but he couldn't work out why.

It's a hard thing to work out "why am I hurting over someone I never met, held or cuddled" especially for guys.

You & your husband will get there, rite now you both need someone from the outside to talk to & some time!

All the best with the future xx 

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