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Name: Catwoman
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Name: Catwoman | Date: Jan 18th, 2007 3:32 PM
For most meals my mom are at work or I'm at work so it's not much of a problem. Luckily they've gotten used to me not eating with them, but it bothers me, because I know it's not normal. Can't even get myself to have a braai with them over the weekend.

I still struggle to eat 'dinner'- don't like eating a big meal, which my mom doesn't understand. So I usually pretend I eat a big meal, but lately I don't care what she thinks I eat. At least I'm eating something and it's something I like 

Name: ally murphy | Date: Jan 18th, 2007 3:41 PM
What is a braai 

Name: Catwoman | Date: Jan 18th, 2007 3:49 PM
Ha, ha you Pommy! It's similar to the Americans' barbeque. Don't think you have it in the UK. Like roasting meat over an open fire with coals. 

Name: ally murphy | Date: Jan 18th, 2007 3:56 PM
We call it a spit roast.
My bf used to go out with a south african girl and he says words that i dont know.lol. 

Name: Catwoman | Date: Jan 18th, 2007 4:02 PM
I'd love to chat more, but gotta go now!!

O, now I also know!!! Words like what?
Chat to you guys later! Will try to check my e-mail sometime! 

Name: lucie | Date: Jan 18th, 2007 4:05 PM
spit roast in my dictionary that means something rude!!! 

Name: ally murphy | Date: Jan 18th, 2007 4:08 PM
Like Munt,,choetze and kaffer dont no what they mean though. 

Name: ally murphy | Date: Jan 18th, 2007 4:08 PM
you dirty bitch.lol. 

Name: lucie | Date: Jan 18th, 2007 4:40 PM
well i am deprived lol! 

Name: ally murphy | Date: Jan 18th, 2007 4:42 PM
Well no you feel better get out they and be undeprived.lol 

Name: Sasha | Date: Jan 18th, 2007 11:33 PM
WOW it sounds like your doing great. I know exactly how you feel. When i was diagnosed with anorexia i was checked into a hospital and had to start eating real food again. It's scary cause i had no control over what was going into my body. But I didn't give up. One thing I would recommend is to not look in mirrors for longer than a minute or to keep telling yourself food is medicine. Because as you probably know your body is lacking alot of nutriton. Anyway it sounds like your on the right path keep it up. 

Name: Catwoman | Date: Jan 19th, 2007 7:38 AM
Sasha, that is one of the most uplifting comments I've read on this forum so far! Don't know who you referring to re doing great, but it sounds like you're also not doing too badly yourself, congrats!

I appreciate your advice bout not looking too long in a mirror- that's my big problem. I keep looking at my stomach and everytime it looks better. But will try to do it less often.

I'm starting to realise that food is GOOD for you, but today I'm having a not too good day. Feeling fat and worthless, so eating is a lot harder. Funny how fast one can become caught up in old (anorexic) thinking patterns! 

Name: ally murphy | Date: Jan 19th, 2007 8:56 AM
I think everyone who has wrote on here about their progress is doing so well.
You must be really proud of yourselves well done.

Keep up the good work ladies we can beat this horrible illness we all need to help each other but we can do it we are all strong. 

Name: james | Date: Jan 19th, 2007 9:04 AM

Name: lucie | Date: Jan 19th, 2007 9:05 AM
catwomen don't be disheartened it will get easier i used to have those days of feeling 'fat' and worthless and upset like evry other day then before you know it you experience those days less and less!

i haven't felt 'fat' for about a week! 

Name: Catwoman | Date: Jan 19th, 2007 9:10 AM
That's great Lucie, I'm happy for you. I'm feeling a bit better, but I'll just try to take it hour by hour and day by day.

James, what the hell is your problem?! What are you doing here? 

Name: ally murphy | Date: Jan 19th, 2007 9:12 AM
Cat woman dont worry about james he is one messed up person.
You will have days where you feel fat but you know deep deep down that you arn't it will just take time and work but you can beat it. 

Name: Catwoman | Date: Jan 19th, 2007 9:47 AM
Thanx Ally- deep down I DO know the truth, that I still need to gain weight. But the image in the mirror (and on photos) tells me I look fine and I'm ok the way I am. So confusing!!

I'm trying to focus on other stuff to take my mind of my feelings, but it tends to creep up on me 

Name: ally murphy | Date: Jan 19th, 2007 9:48 AM
Thats the best thing to do think about something else it is hard at first but the more you concertrate on something else the easier it will become. 

Name: sweet tomorrow | Date: Jan 19th, 2007 7:47 PM
I just want to say you women are very brave. Overcoming an eating disorder is very hard. I give you all the credit in the world. Be strong. You can do this! I had to overcome one when I was faced with being pregnant. It killed me to gained 20 pounds. Now i found out I'm having twins. It's been very hard for me to eat what I'm suppose to be. It's rough. 

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