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Name: NaKeisha
[ Original Post ]
I think i have an eating disorder. After my parent's death my eldest brother started taking care of me and my other siblings. to make a long story short, we did not have a lot of food or money. I started giving my own food to the younger children (the youngest was just barley 2 at the time). I also started saving my lunch from school and brining it home for the younger kids to eat. I was 14-16 at this time. As u might have already noticed i ended up not eating a lot and eventually (like now) i don't eat at all except crackers, water, cereal, light things like that and i have to hide how thin i am because i know my brothers would be upset. Now we are much better off due to my eldest brothers getting better jobs but i still can't eat and still feel like i have to save and give up food for the younger children even though they are now older. My brothers think i have started eating again but i have not, i can't for some reason. I don't know what to call this problem. How can i get help. It would be nice to hear from a mom because it has been a long time since i've heard a mom's advice.
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Name: m.g. | Date: Jan 13th, 2006 5:26 AM
i am not a mom but i have read your story and you have moved me to tears. Honey, i too am anorexic and we are the same- we both put others before ourselves. It may hard for you to digest- but now you are going to have a llittle :"NaKeisha time". You will take care of your needs, and your disorder. Your brothers sound wonderful, talk to them. You have to get a therapist and a doctor on your case. if it's life threatening you may even have to be admitted to a hospital. You want to be around for your little siblings, you have to get help. your parents would not want such a golden hearted girl like you to suffer. An ed comes with a lot of physical sufferings, and i don't want you to end up like me. Please get help. You want to have a family someday. Your future children who are destined to come out of you are counting on you! don't deprieve them of a wonderful mother! you sound as if you'd be the best mother. As much as it's gonna hurt to get the help you deserve and need, it will hurt more if you don't. Think of how guilty your brothers would feel if you died and they couldn't help you. you have to make that first step, and the people who could help you will do the rest. It is Soooooo hard, but when you are better, you will feel sooooooo good. stay healthy, and be strong. Recovery is not easy and there will be setbacks, but i have total faith inyou. And your parents will be watching over you too. Keep posting- it helps to talk to others going thru what you are going thru. i am sending over hugs, and kisses to you thru the internet. i'll keep you in my prayers.
m.g. 

Name: I'll give you some answers | Date: Feb 9th, 2006 7:37 PM
look I know if you go to google search and type in eating disorder help you'll be able to get a crap load of different sites hope this helps you! 

Name: Dr P | Date: Feb 9th, 2006 11:07 PM
Hi NaKeisha

You seem a very brave and thoughtful young woman. What you did for your siblings undoubtedly will help them for the rest of their lives. Now you need to look after yourself so that you can continue to enjoy watching them grow up, and in time so that you can grow and have children of your own. You clearly have a wonderful maternal instinct, and I feel would make a wonderful mother yourself. You need to start slowly. You need to say to yourself that each day, or every other day, you will eat just that little bit more. It is hard for me to say if you have an eating disorder as you do not say why you cannot eat much in detail. There could be lots of reasons, physically and psychologically why you cannot accept nourishment for yourself. Are there any cultural or religeous reasons that it would be helpful to share?

Take it step by step, I'll pop back soon and see if you have replied.


Name: NaKeisha | Date: Feb 21st, 2006 3:02 AM
Hi, thanks to everyone for replying. The reason why i don't know how to get help is that i don't have many opportunites to go online thats why it's been awhile since i have come back here. I did not mean to make u cry m.g. thank u for caring a lot. Its funny to have people that dont even really know me care. : ) any way to Dr P. I don't have religious rules that keep me from eating. i just feel greedy or bad when i start to eat a lot of food at once. I get panicky like things will start to go bad if i relax and eat again plus it's been so long that it just isn't always interesting to me to eat. i get hungry but i just ignore it and it goes away pretty fast because i guess my body is use to being hungry. i am very thin and probably not in a healthy way. i mean i am embarssed about how thin i am and i know that is a sign of being too skinny. cuz if your skinny youd think you'd show off your body right? but when compared to the girls i hang out with that are skinny and show off i am skinnier than them and i know it doesn't look good. I have just got ur reply today so i will try eating a little more everyday. to ur reply that it is hard for u to tell since i didn't say much i can add this i guess. I notice that i lie to my family about how much i eat and put food back that i serve myself when they are not looking. I just am so use to rejecting the food i guess i don't know thanks for ur advice i will check back. 

Name: m.g. | Date: Feb 26th, 2006 10:39 AM
NaKeisha- it is so good to hear from you. i hope things are well. have you considered a therapist? i just want you to know that those guilty panicky feelings are normal. why, just last month on an outing with my mom, i totally had a meltdown in the resteraunt when they brought me PLAIN LETTUCE. It is also normal to feel that you are not worthy enough to eat this food. but let me tell you- you are. you are one of the most mature 17 yr. olds i ever heard of. i am 19 and close to your age so if you ever need to talk, just post here or put up your e-mail. just keep adding a little bit of food at a time. when i was around 73 pounds last month, the doc said either you get well or you die. that's what anoerexia all boils down to at the end. so now i am seriously trying to get better. you will be adding in food every day, just make sure it is protein and starches- it could be healthy, it doesn;t thave to be cake. do what you are comfortable with. goos ideas are tuna, a salad, and half a banana(potassium) or a small whole wheat roll.. i don't want to scare you, but i was in a coma from anoreia, fainted numerous times and have been in 5 eating disorder hospitals over a period of 2 years. please take care of yourse;f- you are too precious of a girl to lose 

Name: kelly tonna | Date: Jan 9th, 2007 11:23 AM
Hi i am a mother but i am young my children are only 5, 4 and two i am deeply saddened by your story and admire you for your strength and courage,what you call this is anorexia, you probably have the perception that anorexia is like a virus it is something you just get, well it is somthing you get but every case is different with yours it is a form of depression and being heroic by saving food for your siblings, i do admire you for that, but now it is time to take care of yourself, see with anorexia it becomes a mind issue because you saved the food for your sibblings for so long your brain has acknowledge not eating as a reward because you felt better for doing so, so now we need to work out an award to make you feel better for eating, am i making sense?

Have you got a nice female doctor who you can talk to this about? i nknow it is a hard topic to bring up exspecially to a doctor but you really need to.

take care and any time you need to write please do so [email protected] God bless you and i am truly sorry for your loss i wish i could just give you the biggest hug right now love kel 


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