Hello, guest
Name: shezamarsh
[ Original Post ]

I'm 25 years old. I'm from the uk. When I was younger I was always naturally thin (very, very) so much so that people constantly accused me of being Anorexic or Bulimic!!! But seriously I wasn't I ate like a horse (didn't purge)...I know I was very lucky!!!! I never had to think about what I was eating or what I weighed. When I did weigh myself I was slightly under weight but never worried because I was eating!!! Anyway time passed and I had a few mental health issues which I was treated for!!! I met a guy and moved in with him and became a compulsive eater much more than ever!!! Slowly I gained weight until I became over weight...(approx a few stones) I completely freaked out because I was always thin...i couldn't cope with the weight gain!!! I was so depressed that I just eat more!!! Anyway recently I have been having trouble with my mental health issues again and felt so isolated and hated myself!!! My doc didn't help...he just gave me a questionnaire to fill in and said come back in a month...you know like on a scale of 1 to 10 how much do you want to kill yourself...Like you can fill it in if your dead (over the top but you know what I mean) !!! I started a diet to loose the weight but went over board only eating no more than 500 cals a day...I lost nearly a stone and felt so happy... but people noticed me not eating and also I missed my food so started binging....seriously!!! I became so guilty and scared...I tried to purge but couldn't at first (it was horrible, my eyes were streaming, my heart was beating so fast I thought it was going to breakout of my chest, I was retching, my nose was running and my face was red!!! I vowed not to try again!!!)...only prob is i'm still doing it and now i'm getting expert at it and i'm so scared !!! I just spiralling out of control!!! I can't stop...I hate myself for doing it but can't put weight on!!! The complete worse thing is I think I might be pregnant!!! I've missed a period, my nipple are so so painful (which they never are), I feel queezy all the time!!! I'm too scared to take a test in case I am and I have to deal with it!!! I'm scared I wont be able to stop...but don't want to hurt my baby!!! I know I'm being so selfish putting it off!!!...I know the risk even if I'm not pregnant!!! I just need someone to talk to I've never been so scared....and I know I'm not a wee girl so should know better but I can't cope!!!!
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Name: little_margie | Date: Jan 12th, 2009 10:17 AM
well the first thing that you should do is see a doctor to confirm if you're pregnant or not. I know it's scary and daunting but it's really important that if you are, you get your eating habits under control asap so as not to do any harm to you potential unborn baby. are you underweight? because the only other reason you are not getting your period is you may have amenorrhea (which is one of the main criteria which puts you in the anorexia bunch of EDs). I know how your feel. The thing with EDs are they're just a vicious cycle and everything becomes habitual. I think you would really benefit from some Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. It's meant to be really effective for people with bulimia. Take care! 

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