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Name: alieradcliffe12
[ Original Post ]
My 7 year old daughter is anorexic and i dont know what to do.I'm also Anorexic (have been since i was 9, i am five foot ten inches and 83 pounds) but she is 35 pounds and is 4'8". She skips lunch and breakfast, doesnt ever eat snacks and when she does eat usually its like a salad and a hot dog.She used to wiegh 85 pounds just 7 weeks ago. I'm really worried , but her doctor said to just let it pass that its just a stage. but shes also exercising like all day . She wakes up at 4 am to run with me and stays up until 9 pm walking, biking, hiking, soccer, and dancing all day.What should i do? Her 5 year old sister is starting to deny her food as well shes dropped 10 lbs in just 2 weeks.help!!
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Name: squiggyrocks | Date: Jul 24th, 2006 12:07 AM
put her in a hopstial for all 3 of you before you die DO NOT deny you have a problem 

Name: Mommy | Date: Jul 24th, 2006 2:11 AM
At 7 she should be playing outside and having fun. You need to seek help for all of you. As the mom, you are supposed to be example. You are not seeting the kind of example your children need to see. Get help. If you put it off, you can be sure it will have serious effects on their health, as well as future body image. 

Name: twostepsback | Date: Jul 24th, 2006 1:46 PM
Thats really sad.
I have never known of someone getting it so young.

You need to be a good mother and get her help immediately.
Letting it pass is not the thing to do.
Shei s only 35 pounds, and that could reduce very quickly.
Very unhealthy, and it could leave her with problems very early in life, you need to get her help, and yourself. 

Name: squiggyrocks | Date: Jul 24th, 2006 7:02 PM
Mommy & twostepsback thanx for argeeing with me 

Name: Pianophillic | Date: Jul 25th, 2006 12:38 AM
how can you let her run with you? she is 7 and anorexic and you let her run with you? your doctor is WRONG[ if you sit back and let this pass she is going to die... and so might you and your other little girl. You need to fight this now... if the lives of the children arent worth it... then I dont know what is., sorry this sounds mean but they need a hospital... and therapy... and while they are gettting it,,,, you should geyt help too 

Name: JenCarpeDiem | Date: Jul 30th, 2006 5:51 AM
You're their mother. Children learn ALL of their behavior from things that they see others do - it's how all animals develop - they are learning their anorexia from YOU. It's entirely your fault, it is entirely your responsibility. I don't care if that's harsh, sometimes that's the only way to get the truth across. You need to get help for yourself if you want to help your children. You can't encourage them to eat when they know that Mommy isn't following her own advice.

Seriously, what the hell are you thinking letting her go running with you?
"Oh no, my baby's stopped eating (just like me) and now she's disgustingly thin (just like me) and she's going running and exercising when she doesn't need to (just like me!)"

GET SOME HELP. A message board will not solve your problems for you, you should be in contact with different doctors who will refer you to a child psychologist. 

Name: LivinWithED | Date: Jul 30th, 2006 6:56 PM
Thats really sad to hear. Although i agree with the others that you need to seek help, i believe they said it a little harshly. I know that you are very concerned for your daughters and that you love them dearly, but i know how hard it can be. I think the fact that you are trying to do something about it is good. That is the first step, however i believe that you do need help. Start with baby steps. Do you make dinner everynight. I'm guessing not since you are anorexic too but I know my family doesn't eat together and that just made my disorder that much easier to hide. Try to help her by recovering with her, even if you only have an apple or something for supper. Talk to her and show her that you care. The good thing about this is that you both are struggling with the same thing so you shouldn't be embarrased to talk about it. If you really love her, then you have to start loving yourself first. She watches you and follows your example. Good luck with everything, I really hope that you guys can pull through this. 

Name: hayles21 | Date: Aug 2nd, 2006 2:03 AM
your children are just following your habits - they think this is normal. show them that you need to eat - even if you cant eat yourself get someone else to do it. i would also take them to another gp for a 2nd opinion. good luck! 

Name: Kristy84 | Date: Aug 3rd, 2006 9:43 PM
There's no possible way that she lost 50 lbs. in 7 weeks. 

Name: sally24 | Date: Aug 4th, 2006 2:11 PM
I am sorry for your situation but it sounds like you have not recieved help for your problem and children learn from there enviroments and there parents your daughters are simply learning from you , you need to seek help for yourself and then for them set a good example that excercise and eating right is a good thing but there is a point were it is to much. 

Name: atomic snowflake | Date: Aug 5th, 2006 11:48 AM
I think that perhaps you need to be seeking some family therapy for this problem. Children copy what they see and there is no way should your kids be denying their food and exercising with you. That is crazy.
Getting up at 4am and staying up until 9pm will lead to long-term health damage.
I would suggest that you put their needs first and quit setting them a bad example. Teach them to have a responsible attitude towards their food and eating and quit all this exercising. If you have to do it then do it in private when they've gone to bed.
Kids need 11-12 hours sleep per night at these ages. They will do poorly at school and develop mental problems if they don't have proper rest. It is cruel to allow your children to live their lives like this.
You are not being a responsible parent by allowing this to happen.
I really hope that you see your way to changing things for your kids sake. They didn't ask to be born into this environment and it's not fair that their long-term health will be damaged by this level of neglect. 

Name: Pianophillic | Date: Aug 7th, 2006 2:14 PM
hey alieradcliffe12- how are thinigs going? has anything changed since this post? 

Name: tonia1990 | Date: Aug 26th, 2006 12:44 AM
i think you possibly should get help for both of your daughters. Im 15 and know i have a problem. But i dont think they know that it can kill them. I think you must get them help.
hope i helped. 

Name: glamorechick4eva | Date: Sep 1st, 2006 2:08 PM
have you tried talking to her why is she anorexic? I am sure you have told her that she isn't big or skinny but do you think that there is a bigger situation than what she is telling you. 7 is young for anorexic, but if she continues this unhealthy habit may be she should see a therapist. i which your daughter the best. 

Name: robbieandlauren | Date: Sep 10th, 2006 10:42 PM
I think you need to start with yourself. They are following your example. They want to be like you and if you care about them you should let them see you change yourself and hopefully they will follow. 

Name: robbieandlauren | Date: Sep 11th, 2006 4:35 AM
good luck with everything. 

Name: Julia | Date: Sep 18th, 2006 6:08 PM
Hello alieradcliffe12-
Is she reading about weight in magazines or watching the wrong shows to learn this? I know in todays society it is made out to be important, and being beautiful and thin is what is scattered all over our televisions and magazines, but it is up to us as the parents to educate our children on what is truly important in life. Not to say you haven't done that, but she is obviously learning this from somewhere. She needs to understand that being thin is not what makes us special. You mentioned you have a problem as well? Is she completely informed of your disease or just assumes since you're thin, she should be too? Allowing her to get up so early in the morning to exercise may not be wise if she has an eating disorder? I would call an advise nurse or speak with several different Doctors. Your daughter is so young and it is heartbreaking that she is worrying about her weight. You may want to truly consider getting the help for yourself first, then you will be completely prepared to help your children. Maybe once they see you eating again and looking healthy, they will change their lifestyle and begin to live a healthy life. Children do what they see. Good luck and please speak with other healthcare providers! 

Name: littlemom | Date: Sep 20th, 2006 4:47 AM
Hi~ I am so sad to hear about these two little girls. Please know that they learned this from you. They obviously think they have to look like you to be accepted since "mommy knows best". They need you to realize this and to take control of your life and theirs. You can be honest with them about this and begin together in new life patterns and habits of eating and taking care of yourselves. You can support and encourage one another, but you must be the one in control here. They need you to be strong for them and teach them and train them in what is right and good so that they will not suffer needlessly the rest of their lives, possibly even dying very young. Please deny this selfish lifestyle and see beyond the lies. Your value is not in the appearance of your flesh but in the heart. May God help you. 

Name: Juanita Romo | Date: Sep 20th, 2006 8:10 PM
I think that everyone has a little eating disorder whether it is over eating or under eating I myself try not to eat alot at one time so I eat 4 or 5 times a day but in small portions I am 5 foot 4 inches & my weight goes up & down from 115 to 120 try this for a month or so & you should see results. You could even eat cereal 2 times a day a eat & normal size meal. Good Luck. 

Name: susier73 | Date: Oct 1st, 2006 8:37 AM
Hi there hun. I just want to say I have had anorexia since I was a kid, at worst when I was about 25yo, now 33 and a stable weight though still funny about food, I still struggle. So I understand. But setting an example to your kids is the hardest thing in the world. I don't think you can help your daughters until you are well. Somebody else needs to be in place to set a different example, so they can see there are other ways of eating/ behaving. I am a single mother and often wish my 3 yo son had a daddy to show him another way, not just in eating but everything. Do you have anyone with you, any support? Maybe ask for their help showing your children how it can be different, also explain that mommy isn't very well (you are able to admit this - good for you) and that it isn't ok to eat/exercise like mommy, and she is trying to get well but need them to be ok and eat properly, so then when mommy is well you all will be well together. I don't know if this will help. I know I got sick of people who hadn't been there telling me what to do - so sorry if I sound like them. I just feel for you. Good luck sweetie. 

Name: Lizzi | Date: Oct 2nd, 2006 7:17 PM
Frankly I'm surprised if your doctor is aware of this that those kids haven't been taken away from you! Not only that,but why are you allowing her to run with you and excercise like that? YOU are the parent,this is unbelievable!!!!! 

Name: Lizzi | Date: Oct 2nd, 2006 7:20 PM
Sorry my comment wasn't supportive but 5 and 7 year olds shouldn't be living this way,and you should be seeing that they don't because you are the parent!!!!!! Take control!!!!!!!! 

Name: MommySWKER | Date: Oct 5th, 2006 1:58 AM
Don't listen to littlemom. She loves to throw out the "selfish" word to mom's looking for support. You don't need more guilt on top of what you are already dealing with.

Listen, this is a disease. Go to a hospital and check all of you in. It's OK if the kids are in school. This is your lives, well being and far more important. If you have been like this since the age of 9, then you don't know how to help yourself, let alone your children. This is a way of life for you. You need to stop the cycle and you will need guidance in doing so. 

Name: Keira | Date: Oct 7th, 2006 7:35 PM
I totally understand on of my triplets is only five and her nanny is constantly telling me about how she drops her food by "accident" and says she can't eat it because it's dirty. This makes me feel awful! Because i'm never there to see it and I feel helpless knowing shes started this, at only five! 

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