Hello, guest
Name: nellie
[ Original Post ]
I am 25 years old 5"4 married for 7 years and a stay at home mom with two children 4 and 1 in age. I starting throwing up 2 1/2 years ago, when my son was 2 i did a weight lost program and went from 178 to 134 stuck to the diet and exercise did everything right once the program ended I was scared to gain the weight back so I started binging and purging the temptations are so strong and once I eat the bad stuff I have to get it out. I got pregnant with my second baby in July 06 and stopped completely with the throwing up. I didnt want to hurt her in anyway. 3 months after she was born I did another weight lost program and went from 167 back to 135 and now the program is over Im back to sqaure one again. Also I had found out that my husband had been texting and yahoo messaging, and placing phone calls (not nice things) to a girl that I knew for years, he didnt cheat he said he was playing and he knew it was wrong and sorry that he hurt me so bad that was a year ago and we are so over it and perfect as always, but now i feel that if I dont keep this image up I would lose him and I know thats not the case because its not like that, but nasty trashy ass girl is like 100 lbs and i feel I have to be that to keep his concentration on me for him not veer off again and I know its not like that and thats something not to worry about because he loves me for me and thats why it didnt go any furthur that what it did, but its still in my head its silly and I need to stop thinking like that BUT HOW? Sometimes its not a everyday thing and sometimes its 3 to 4 times a day. I cant tell anyone Im to embarassed, I feel that its a have too. That it controls me. Once Im done purging I will tell myself thats the last time, but it never is, I exercise and eat right on my good days, my bad days I eat everything in sight and purge, any words of advice to help me in anyway would be so helpful, Im a very strong person and i can beat this on my own I just need someone whos has been in my shoes to tell me how to get out of it.
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