Hello, guest
Name: Pianophillic
[ Original Post ]
I know this will sound stupid but im having the worst time with recovery... i want to recover from bulmia becuase i dont want to die early and im sick of feeling like shit all the time but if I were to gain weight ( and when i did in the past) I always hated living anyway;.... whats the point of recovery if Ill be miserable being fat? even though Im miserable being bulimic - at least I can go through the day fitting my clothes and eating with all the "guys" and never gaining weight...
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Name: hayles21 | Date: Aug 7th, 2006 8:42 PM
i know how you feel. its like a viscous circle. try writing the positives and negatives of each - to purge or not to then see which looks best.
see how that goes!
good luck xxxxxxx 

Name: Cface | Date: Aug 9th, 2006 7:05 AM
Umm If you start exercising as you start eating..and get into a good healthy exercise routine and eating routine then you will be able to maintain a weight.. yeah its harder.. but its smarter.. you look better.. feel better.. and live longer :) I know this because I have done it. Try it I bet if you really do it you will wonder why you ever stuck your finger down your throat!!! 

Name: Pianophillic | Date: Aug 10th, 2006 1:53 PM
cface... you mean you have beat an ED and been able to maintawin a weight with eating too? I know this is nuts but everytime I have gotten out of IP and exercised and ate... I still gain... maybe cuz my metabolism is still half dead....
Im trying to talk myself into being ok if I get chunky becuase life is more important. I used to run cross country all the time but I was still chunky... 

Name: sally24 | Date: Aug 10th, 2006 2:32 PM
I was bulimic off and on for years and I understand exactly how you feel , recovery is a long process don't beat yourself up you have allready taken a big step towards being healthy take it one day at a time. Keep journals , find activites that make you feel good about yourself , thats what you have to learn to focus on loving your body for exactly the way it is and that is the hardest thing , you don't have to be fat if you give up being bulimic I am not and I gave it up a few years ago , you just have to learn to change your lifestyle , and the way you eat , get into a good excercise program eat the things you love in moderation , the desire to want to eat whatever you want doesn't go away over night but as you reach the real reaseon for this , you will become satisifed with only eating what you need. 

Name: Allison | Date: Sep 11th, 2006 11:33 AM
The point of recovery is to restore normal eating patterns and not worry about food as an enemy. If you gain the weight back but are still obsessive about how you look, then you haven't recovered from your eating disorder. 

Name: irina | Date: Sep 30th, 2006 4:15 AM
sorry, but how about also pre think of tomorrow. Today looking good in clothes is great and being popular among boys. But what about if you ever get married and have children and wouldn't be able to be a good parent due to your poor health. How would you feel if your parents would be sick and there would be a possibility of dying and living you alone in this world? I know it's extremely hard and you are being pressured to look certain way today, but there are many other healthy way to control your eating disorder. You need to find a nutricinist who will help you to choose the right diet for you according to your blood type, age and taste. Good luck to you!!! 

Name: hailybaby_2000 | Date: Oct 2nd, 2006 8:14 PM
I get were you are comming from, I am the way I becasue I think my life would be better if I at least looked good, people would like me better treat me better... And this is something that I have convinced myself of...
I hate that when I enjoy something I have eaten I automatically feel so guilty and I purge... I cant stand the way I look or feel, and if any of my freinds found out I dont want to know what they would think of me. I am the person in the group with no problems always happy and THIN, I hear all the time, god I wish I could look and eat like you, you are so thin... UGH if I ate that I would get so fat.. I AM SICK OF IT!!! They dont know that I sneak off to go and SHOVE my fingure down my thoat so that I can maintain my image...
The best part is when my boyfriend comes over, I have to brush and use mouth wash twice and wash my hands so that he wont find out that I made myself throw up, who wants a gurlfriend that smells like barf..

I dont like throwing up it isnt a hobby that I would chose, but I do it out of fear, and a sick pleasure knowing that I can stay thin by doing this my little destructive secret, and that is what sickens me the most!!!

SO it is sad but I would rather be thin than fat!! and that I hate but wont change...


Name: mere81 | Date: Oct 18th, 2006 9:28 PM
Hello Pianophillic,

My name is Chimere Washington a Youth Search Coordinator and I am currently working on a project called 100 Young Americans. Its a national photography book that will feature interesting teenagers all over the country. The book will be distributed throughout Barnes and Noble and Borders bookstores. I am looking to feature a recovering bulimic female and I came across this web site and found you. If this sounds like something you might be interested in being apart of please send me the following information:

1. Name
2. Age
3. Phone number
4. Email address
5. Hometown
6. School
7. Brief Bio
8. 5 Clear pictures

If you get a chance please check out our web sites: www.100youngamericans.com and www.MichaelFranzini.com (photographers web site)

Thank you for your time and I hope to hear from you soon!

Chimere Washington
Youth Search Coordinator
[email protected]

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