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Name: Patty
[ Original Post ]
Hi - am new to this forum and I need advice. My 13 year old daughter who will be in 8th grade this year was diagnosed at the end of 6th grade with SLD - now looking at re-classifying it to language disordered. Anyways, we had her tested in 3rd and 4th grade and she scored low but not low enough for any real extra help. And of course she just kept falling further behind until it was done again at the end of 6th grade. You can imagine what that was like for a 13 year old girl starting middle school and puberty - being told that she had a learning diasability and was going to have to be in some special ed classes. Kids want to just fit in at this age - don't want to be looked at as "different" in any way. Of course, I have said all the right things to try and keep up her self esteem, etc.... But, it has been absolutely terrible!!! She didn't want to go to school at all this past year - a constant daily struggle to get her there (missed over 20 days - actually would get sick from the stress). I have her in weekly therapy to learn to accept her differences and feel better about her self. The school counselor also works closely with her, but nothing seems to help. Now, the school pyschologist along with the speech therapist wants me to place her in all special-ed classes (and yes, the other kids know that the classes are "different"). Here's a child that was kept in all regular classes from K through 6th grade and now they are telling me and her that she needs to be in all special-ed classes!!!! doesn't seem right....Right now she is in a math special-ed class and a reading/social studies special-ed class - in regular science and english classes(but failing). She's a very pretty girl and is a cheerleader (kinda "barbie" type) and I think it makes it worse for her - some of the kids seem to really get a kick out of thinking there's something wrong with her. Her biggest struggle is with reading comprehension - tests at a 4th grade level (88%) but tests at a 7th grade level reading words per minute at 197 w/p/m with only 2 errors. Because of the low comprehension level, she struggles now with all classes. I just don't know what to do - what's best for her.....the psychologist actually told me that I was being neglectful for not putting her in all special-ed classes and making her accept her limitations and the fact that she has a learning disability! I don't know - maybe I am????? I just want what's best for her - hate seeing her be so down on herself and feeling the way she does.....it doesn't help that her brother who's a year older doesn't even have to crack a book to get good grades.....I hate to sound so dramatic but I really don't think I can handle another year like last year ( worry that she's going to end up a drop-out,etc..). I am a widow so my budget doesn't really allow for hundreds a month for special tutoring. Please advise.....I appreciate any suggestions, words of encouragement, etc.... I know I am so lucky that my children are otherwise very healthy, etc.... that this doesn't have to ruin her life , etc.... it just feels like it is though.....Thanks . Sorry for going on for so long.
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Name: Patty | Date: Jul 30th, 2006 11:29 AM
Still waiting for some advice......Is anyone there??? thanks again ......Patty 

Name: Mommy | Date: Jul 30th, 2006 10:06 PM
Just explain to her that some kids will make fun of others no matter what. If they are not making fun of disablilities, they are making fun of someones name, social status, parents, weight, height, ect. Explain to her that when kids do that either they weren't raised with the right parenting or they are jealous. Tell her to hold her head high no matter what. It's better to be in a class where you can keep up and get good grades than be in a class that's too high paced and get bad grades. I was in the advanced classes in math and was getting F's constantly. Finally the teachers put me in the "dumb" math class and I started getting good grades. Once she is out in the world, let her know that no one is going to care what classes she was in in middle school, they are not going to care that she was a cheerleader or anything else. All any employer or college is going to look at is if she did her work well (and if she is in classes more her pace she will probably get better grades) and if she is willng to work hard. You sound like you are doing a fine job as a mother and good luck on talking to your daughter. 

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