|
My 11 year old son has developed an attitude and I dont know what to do about it. He hit his mother the other day because she asked him to do the dishes, and called her some rotten things. He is swearing, hitting, and acting way out of line. I have tried grounding him, taking away things, talking to him, and Im running out of ideas!!! Please help me! ↓
|
|
| Name: Rob | Date: Mar 12th, 2006 7:56 PM |
| Oh and I realise I am not a mother my wife asked me to post this ↑ |
| Name: just me | Date: Mar 12th, 2006 11:45 PM |
| It sounds like he is out of control to me. I say you need to get some counseling to see what the issues are but if he is hitting his mom he would hurt anyone. They say not to treat violence with violence but I most certainly would not let him put his hand on his mother the very one that brought him to this earth. He should respect her that is for sure. Is he on drugs? Maybe running with the wrong kids? My 17yr old was that way for about 2 years and we struggled big time. She was involved with some kids that I did not approve of and until they hurt her she didn't realize that what I was saying was true. I had to move to a different town and really work with her but she found out real quick that they were not friends just peole giving her attention that she thought that she needed. Now she prefers to not have any friends which is lonely for her but she is afraid to make the wrong choices again.............kids like this usually run with kids that do the same to everyone not just their parents. He is young and you are the parent. Do what you have to and most certainly do not let him lay hands on his mother. I will pray for you Rob! ↑ |
| Name: Jessica | Date: Mar 14th, 2006 6:15 AM |
It's natural for teens to want their space and to be left alone. I would calm him down and just explain to him your situation.
From a twelve year old ↑ |
| Name: Rachael 12 | Date: Mar 16th, 2006 7:02 AM |
| That is so wrong. If I ever did that to my Mom I can't even imagine what would happen. If you work take some time off from work. Bring him to school, pick him up from school right away. Bring him home. If he starts swearing sit him in a chair and do what my mom did, put either a whole barof soap or lots of liquid soap in his mouth. Take every privledge that he has from him. Don't loosen up, don't give him any room. I know he is probably your "little baby" but this is for his own good. One more hint. GET ANGRY. If you don't get angry he will get worse. I am only 12 and I thank my mom everyday for all of the punishments she gave me. ↑ |
| Name: Lisa | Date: Mar 24th, 2006 9:58 PM |
| Id say hes overdue for a good old fashioned butt whipping and made to understand whos boss and that this type of behavior is not and will not any longer be acceptible!Take away everything he enjoys playing with and tell him he can have it back if and when he improves his attitude and behavior and it starts with a sincere apology to his mother! (I know not everyone believes in spanking) so if you dont then skip the first part.Children need good discipline regularly and need to realize that there are consequences for their bad behavior but there are also rewards for good behavior.And since dishes is what set it off I think dishes should become a regular chore for the kid.Kids these days rarely show respect it seems.Another thing you might try is sitting down with your child with no other distractions and finding out if theres an unknown reason for the bad behavior.Like maybe he/she doesnt like your new boyfriend,or maybe the other kids are getting all your time and attention and he/she is feeling left out?Or maybe your child is being picked on at school or doesnt have many friends,the list goes on and on.Ive been lucky with my son,hes 14 and probably only been spanked 5 times tops in his life.I dont think theres anything wrong with spanking,some kids it shapes up,others it further creates problems so your kinda taking a gamble there but Ive listed other ideas ,hope 1 helps.As for the swearing ... a little soap on the tongue.Its your call but if you do nothing the older they get the worse they get. ↑ |
| Name: Maybee | Date: Mar 25th, 2006 5:35 PM |
| well you should spend some time with him find out whats going on and well maybe thats the first step to finding out why hes been acting like that i mean i myself am 11 and well somrtimes i got problems (huge 1s and sometimes i dont tell my parents bout them and then my friends know that theres som,ething wrong wif me so i tell them but you shouldnt take awya his stuff my mom did that and i became even more mean to her so if you take hos stuff away he might you know but what ever.ps try spending time with him and do stuff with him.thats all i can say for now. ↑ |
| Name: Bre | Date: Mar 28th, 2006 12:40 AM |
| Take him to boot camp. He might be doning drugs i'm sorry to say but its possible. ↑ |
| Name: Mike serrano | Date: Apr 9th, 2006 12:41 PM |
Hi Rob iam 13yrs old i would never!!!,never!!!!,do that to my own iam a kind teen to my family and friends. I think u should to take him to some counsle and if that dosent work try be ANGARY! at him take every thing he loves the most,and if that that dosen't
work take him to Boot camp!! ↑ |
| Name: matt wooten | Date: Apr 16th, 2006 12:49 AM |
| Name: Joey | Date: Apr 16th, 2006 1:49 AM |
| Hi everybody Im 15 but have actually been abusive and disobediant when I was younger. I was awful to my mother, I feel bad that I was so out of line. I changed partly when my friend and I went to a church youth group. After afew weeks I became a christian, and since then I have't abused or botherd my parents. I know that some people think christianity is a cult but it isn't. We believe that were all sinners and that the only way we can become pure is by surrendering our hearts to Jesus who died for us. Im sorry if Im sounding weird, but god has helped me out so much in my life, and it makes me feel whole. ↑ |
| Name: lizzy | Date: Apr 26th, 2006 4:06 PM |
| go on dr phil!!!!! or take his advice hurry before its way way to late ↑ |
| Name: alex | Date: Apr 26th, 2006 7:19 PM |
| Ahhhhhh. Live with it. Its just a stage they all go threw it and for a punishment just take away his video games. ↑ |
| Name: concerned mom | Date: Apr 27th, 2006 4:23 PM |
| if all possible you need to get him some counseling.if you can not afford it there are services that should be able to help you.i have a 16 yr old who has been in counseling for 2 yrs now for anger.i am so glad we got him some help. ↑ |
| Name: sarah mckellar | Date: May 4th, 2006 10:33 PM |
i was like that but i talked to docter his name was victor n. hirsh you should try him (he is a sicologist in leage city T.X. if your not to far you should try him out)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sarah mckellar-age-12 ↑ |
| Name: CHRISTY | Date: May 6th, 2006 11:05 AM |
| WELL CREATE A NOUGHTY STEP FOR HIM AND DONT LET HIM GET HIS OWN WAY IF HES NOUGHTY PUT HIM ON THE NOUGHTY STEP FOR 11 MINUTES ↑ |
| Name: shame on you | Date: May 15th, 2006 2:44 PM |
| Sam you need your mouth washed out with soap.Stop being ugly and get a life.Don't you people realize how stupid you sound when you cuse? ↑ |
| Name: lindalu | Date: Jul 11th, 2006 5:27 PM |
| Hello Rob, Thats ok! you dont have to be a mom to reach out for advice. It is verry dificult to say what you shoul try. Ther are so many factors not mentioned that could decide your next step. If you could tell more about when and why he execibets this behavior it would help. Does he act out when he is told no? Is there something hapening in the house hold that may be affecting him? such as .....a death, un usual stress between mom and dad. Children are verry wise to their surroundings some times you dont think they notice much but they do. If you could share more info it would help. ↑ |
| Name: twostepsback | Date: Jul 24th, 2006 1:37 PM |
That's horrible.
I think younger kids today, or teens in general have a lack of respect.
You really can't even ask them to do something without them getting uppity.
I'm fifteen years old, and although I really hate housework, I feel my parents have done so much for me I should be helping out.
Take him aside and tel him he needs to start growing up and helping out, just the general talk, no one likes to resort to violence, but a little firmness won't hurt.
Good luck. ↑ |
| Name: katie | Date: Jul 25th, 2006 3:41 PM |
| you should tell him to go to his room ↑ |
| Name: tyler | Date: Jul 25th, 2006 8:24 PM |
| Name: cat 13 | Date: Jul 27th, 2006 11:45 PM |
| so kids are like that i know a lot of them ↑ |
| Name: bladerunnerx16 | Date: Aug 9th, 2006 5:07 PM |
| kick his ass. That is an idea isn;t it. if he is going to treat everyone like s**t, treat him like s**t. ↑ |
| Name: bladerunnerx16 | Date: Aug 9th, 2006 11:58 PM |
| Lol I was pissed when I wrote that... You should definitely look for counseling, it is not right for him to hit his mom at ANY age, especially not at 11 when he KNOWS better. If you dont get him into counseling there will be hell to pay. ↑ |
| Name: Layne | Date: Aug 10th, 2006 12:17 AM |
| if he is hitting find out where the disrespect is coming from. How common is this. Maybe friends are ifluenceing him. Hormones are killers for the next 5 years. It will get worse homever if you dont get a handle on it soon. How do you treat your wife make sure you both are on thesame page with the rules. I would in private talk to your wife about the plan to gain control back. Not infrount of your son. then put the corse in action. If you need help there are plenty of books in the library on the subject. Dr. Phil is a great sorce. Simple and affective advice. ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Aug 12th, 2006 2:24 AM |
| I used to babysit a little girl who had a big chip on her shoulder and a very bad attitude and smart mouth. I ultimately decided the best thing for me to do was quit because I was on the verge of literally beating her. ↑ |
| Name: huddyh | Date: Aug 14th, 2006 8:44 AM |
get him in a room a room with out any body in and teach him manners and respect kk
from huddyh email me at [email protected] im only 11 but might aswell give it a trie ↑ |
| Name: loveguide | Date: Aug 14th, 2006 7:05 PM |
| You are the dad. Let him know you love him but be the one in charge. And never let him treat his mom that way. He needs to learn to have manners and how to treat a woman. Spend more time with him. Punishment doesn't always change behavior but if you show that you and your wife love him he might gain a better perspective. Give him attention, thats probably why he is doing these things. If you need more help email me at [email protected] ↑ |
| Name: west | Date: Jun 15th, 2007 4:10 PM |
| If you know what his most valuble think is take it off him when he goes to school and when he notices it is gone say he is not getting it back till he gets rid of his attitude butif he says no say i will get rid of it. ↑ |
| Name: Jamesh | Date: Jun 15th, 2007 9:35 PM |
| Like all things this behaviour is the result of exposure to mahogany. AVOID ALL MAHOGANY! Now that the problem has been identified it can be treated with a course of history at UL. ↑ |
| Name: braceface | Date: Jun 19th, 2007 2:56 PM |
I'm 12 and i i was never really abusive but i did hit my mom once in a while but she just grabed my arm as soon as i hit her and said "HEY!" in a really loud voice(still holding my arm) then she owuld let go and i would usally go crying to my room a little while later she would come in and ask for my apoligy and say" before you get to that point where you want to hit something go upstairs and calm down." All i no is that as soon as she grabbed my arm i new not to do that again, then when she came into my room and talked to me i felt better. It worked for me, but it might not work for all children.My 11 yr old cousin is the same way, but atleast you seek help my uncle and aunt are indinial! The first step is always adressing the problem. Also you can watch SuperNanny (i watch it every single time it comes on) and thats were i get ideas on how to raise kids. If you feel nothing is working you could apply for SuperNanny-but only as a alst resort!
Good luck! ↑ |
| Name: kimmersue | Date: Jun 20th, 2007 1:04 AM |
| I have this very same problem. My 11 year old son is very hateful to me (his mom) and he will yell and scream at me, hit me, kick me all in a fit of rage. He has been to several different doctors and he is on 3 different meds to help..... ITS GETTING WORSE. I have at times lost my cool with him and regret what i've done. I have asked for help from several different people and I too am getting no where with this. The more I do the worse it gets. He seems to blame everyone or everything for his out bursts. At times I don't think he even remembers what he has done. This really gets me very down. This seems to be a very had decision one has to make in how to handle a child like this. I do feel your pain. Right now I'm looking into putting him in BOOT CAMP. They won't take him because of his age. I'm being told he has to be 13 before they will take him. I have read so many of these responses and trust me I've tried them. Taking things away...total 100% restriction... kind love a hug... consuling... meds...spanking.. I've tried it all....... and i've stuck my decisions and don't let him walk over me. But still I have this problem with him. I just think some kids are this way. I just pray that he will grow out of it before he hurts me or someone else. He has threatened to kill his little brother. I put him in a hospital after this happened. I just think he is so full of hate that no matter what I try it just won't work. I really do feel your pain. If I had a good solid answer I would tell you. Maybe going to see Dr. Phil is a good answer as was said prior. I'm not crazy about the man but he does help alot of people. Who knows.... maybe my son and I will be there some day. It's about the only thing I haven't tried. Good luck to you and God Bless. ↑ |
|
|
