|Name: jo | Date: Apr 8th, 2006 10:02 PM
|Sit down talk 2 her but stay calm.Ask her why she did it and if there is anything u can do.If she tells u 2 leave her alone do it.|
You may feal bad but at least u tried. ↑
|Name: brandy | Date: Apr 11th, 2006 3:07 AM
|hi I'm 21 now and i stared cutting my self at 11 most people don't under stand why we do it when we hurt are self and feel pain that is how we let are pain go i no to some that is weird and there is no way to stop him or her i stop cutting my self about 1 year ago i found a better way to deal with my pain and she will to it just takes time i hope i can help u my e mail is [email protected] ↑|
|Name: nicole | Date: Apr 17th, 2006 1:48 AM
|I did it too i think i know why she does it,befor i say any thing else i should tell you that i am 14.i too cut myself like she did at first,but then i tried to kill my self.the reson why did it was because i was tierd of the world feeding me bull.i'm not sure but the possible reason why she shows other people is probly because she trying to run.to run frome you,because she could be taken away in put in a mental institute.i thought that would be fun for me.maby she thinks the same way.maybe she knows she is going crazy.maby she does'nt want to be botherd by doctor pretending to know who she is.maby she does want them.maby she want to let what she has inside out,but not to you.maby she has decided and your to late. ↑|
|Name: chelsie | Date: Apr 21st, 2006 2:24 AM
|what you could do is throw away all of her stuff that is black and replace the clothes with colorful and happy clothes ↑|
|Name: Josh | Date: Apr 21st, 2006 3:38 PM
|Hey listen...I'm a cutter aswell as much as i hate admitting it i am i dont want your daughter to get to involved in it as much as i have done (deeper cutting). You have 2 sit down and talk to her and tell her that you love her and that she can tell you anything at all and you won't get freaked out or yell at her. She's probably feeling like noone is there for her and thats she's all alone. Try to find out why she's cutting and try to slowly and calmly find something that she enjoys and gets her mind of cutting and then get her away from it you know what im saying. Anywayz i hope it works out for you and your daughter. P.S. It won't be easy by the way ↑|
|Name: bianca | Date: Apr 21st, 2006 8:28 PM
|maybe u should just talk to her maybe she needs someone to listen her hey im 14 i can see what your going thewr and i see the same with ur 13 year old daugther just listen ↑|
|Name: JT | Date: Apr 22nd, 2006 2:10 AM
|im a 13 year old myself and my friend is going through tht and your 13 year old is having a hard time with something in her life and you need to sit down with your 13 year old daughter and talk 2 her about whats going on about if its skool or a personal issue and then show her other children tht are going through worse things than her ↑|
|Name: conserned | Date: Apr 23rd, 2006 8:17 AM
|take her to a phycietrist right away to get a diagnostic after that he should prescribe her to somthing and just talk with her as ofter as possible about her life ↑|
|Name: Sharni | Date: Apr 23rd, 2006 2:41 PM
|I was just like you daughter ... but i was in year seven. Im now in year eight and i am no longer a cutter. I never showed off my cuts i hid them and i tryed to hide myself aswell. Me too, was a bubbly and happy 13 year old girl. My dad got phone calls off my teachers and dep. principal saying they were concerned. I was never put in hospital, only therapy.|
It seems to me (and dont take this the wrong way) that your daughter is a attention seeker. If she was serious about the cutting then she wouldnt be showing it, she would be hiding them. I wore a jumper everyday to school, when i was cutting so no one would know. I think what you should do, is sit her down with her principal, her counciler, her theripest, you and your husband and maybe the doctor she saw while she was at the psych hospital and discuss all of this. Show her pictures if you can, of scars and tell her that its not thing. And while it may be getting her some attention ... does she really want some scars just for people to talk? I know i didnt. Tell her my story if you want. I started cutting because i had to leave my mum, and because i was always homealone ... i had friends but their parents didnt want them to hang out with me because of what i was doing. If your daughter has MSN and needs a friend who can help her through this and will always be there. My address is [email protected] ... just remember Sandy, you need to get on top of this! ↑
|Name: kaylz | Date: Apr 23rd, 2006 2:57 PM
|i am also 13 i turned from cute and happy to wearing all black in a month ur daughter may be doing this because she feels unhapy with her life and has had a bad expirience in love as i have had ↑|
|Name: kailey | Date: Apr 26th, 2006 8:47 PM
|ok thrust me and take it from a 13 year old who had a friend who cuts themself. My friend recently started to cut her skin after a bad break up with her boy friend. she took this so badly that she became "emo" (dressing all black and verbally abuses herself) . I have stopped haging out with her but still keep in touch every once in a while. The best thing i would suggest to do is talk 2 friend of hers that u have a good relationship with. you can find out what happend and how her friends are dealing with it.(they have probably switched friends so talk to an old friend who is vivascous and bubbly) you should limit her time any way you cn(just not directly) with her new friends and talk and show her things that can result from cutting herself. itll b hard at first but u can do it . goood luck!!!!!!!!! ↑|
|Name: a kid | Date: May 4th, 2006 12:08 AM
|im 13 n i cut miself... its not lik eit hurts that much anymore... it takes away pain... its better than punching in walls like i use to... so y dont u just leave them its that or destruction of proporty ↑|
|Name: Katie&Marisa | Date: May 6th, 2006 9:35 AM
Well it sounds to me kind of like your daughter might be doing it (aka cutting herself.) for attention. Not only from the other 8th graders at school but also from you.
I [Marisa] am 13 years old and also in 8th grade with a 17 year old sister. I was talked to last year after someone had found out that I had cut myself and I had to call home.
It wasn't anything majorly bad. Like I never went to counseling. But they weren't cat scratches. When I was doing this there was a lot of other kids that did too.
I have stopped for a long time. But the other kids that did it then still do it. And yeah. A lot of kids do it for attention nowadays. I'm not sure if it's because of the ''new scene'' or the ''emo style'' or if it's ''in''. And middle school (let me tell you from experience) is a changing experience. Like I see girls all the time that used to wear really cute pink and purple shirts to black greenday sweaters and catcollars around their necks. It's pretty pathetic. But back to your daughter, She may be doing this for the attention from friends. Maybe she hangs around with people that cut themselves and she wants to be apart of them. or fit in. And by cutting herself she is also getting attention from you and other family members at home. Maybe instead of putting her in intesive therapy or psych hospitals try talking to her and let her know that you are there for her. Soon it will be that she won't have to take it out on her arm, she can just go and talk to you about whatever it is that is bothering her. Also let her know that by cutting her arm she isn't only hurting herself, but also hurting you and whoever else has noticed this change in behavior and personality.
Hopefully this helps.
|Name: Bianca | Date: May 6th, 2006 10:00 AM
i am a 13 yr old gal n i used to cut but never deep enuf to scar but enuf to bleed and it ws becaus ei cudnt handle thigns at home. i have stopped now and none of my friends supported me during this they all though it was stupid and i was being an idiot because i did it for me it was just a stage but everyhting settled ofr about 2 months and then i got really upset and carved an X in mi arm i ddint tell my friends until they found out about 3 weeks after and now they still think i do the scaring is still on my arm and i try ot hide it ks mum and dad dont know i do or any reason why i should but ithnk they have noticed it.. so for her this may be a phase but maybe not just 'let her know that this is bad for her and it will become a habit continue to take her to counciling or if there is at her school a guidance councilor when she can talk ehrself and make arrangements and it is all confisental just try and find out wat is wrong with her and stop her fom ruining her life!! ↑
|Name: Rachael Willeke | Date: May 6th, 2006 10:09 PM
|OK this isnt hard for me to say cause I cute myself to but its not cause i wanna show it off! no one really even knows about it! well the advise that I can give you is pritty easy just sit down and have a talk with her every so often and ask her to tell you what is happening at school and what is happening around home! Then when you get that information you should try to fix it but if she says there is nothing going wronge maybe she just wants more atention!If that is the case then try to talk to her more and then See if she has meny friends she might just want more friends just tell her cutting herself never works it only makes you in a bigger risk of dieing! you could cut your vane or something like that! I no its not good information coming from a girl that does it herself but its the best way i can help! The reason I did it was because of home problems my mom was always gettin drunk and my dad would leave every night to go party and then when he got home they would start fighting so I started to cut myself! Oh that could be another reason you have to make sure that her probablem aint somethin to do with you and her dad! like if you guys get in fights a lot or somethin like that then that could be one of the reasons to! And another reason I did it is because every one at school likes to make fun of me just because They arent like me! and they always call me a slut and because I am pregnant now and only 13 but hey I donno what to say if they dont like me for who I am oh well they will just have to live with it I gots plenty of friends! ↑|
|Name: chelsee | Date: May 8th, 2006 2:25 AM
|ok im 16 years old and i myself used to be a cutter ! i would cut with anything blades,glass,needles etc. i quit because i wanted to for my well being. your daughter isn't going to quit because you put her in out patient programs or in patient just becaue you give her attention over it doesnt mean she will quit. she needs to understand that putting scars her on her body will not her any of her problems let her know she is special and you love her. she wants attention she is one of those cutters they have 2 kinds of cutters. one's who want attention for it and one's who do it for serious reasons. she is one of yhe one's who want attention if they are just little scratches she doesnt want to hurt herself. she wants attention if she goes around showing them off. that is personally annoying. no offence to your daughter but she needs to stop being immature and find out that all she is getting is negative attention. most people probably thinks she is stupid for doing that to herself. i myself and im sure other cutters who cut or used to cut for serious reasons find that offensive. you need to tell your daughter she needs to wake up and realize they have other people out there that most likely have worse problems than herself. i mean if she has a mom who cares enough to get a website just to help her daughter and obviously you have done alot. i will tell you that you cant do anything else if she does this for attention. she obviously likes this attention and she will not stop unless you be firm with her let her know that she is not being a resposible teenager and that is ridiculous. you seem to be a very caring mother and you can only do so much to help her attention hungry problem. if you have to take her hinges off her door do it! only you can get though to her and let her know there sre bigger problems in the world w/ other teenagers and people in general. my problems are big also but i still look @ it like there are other people with worse problems even though my dad recently has been paralyzed and i had to take care of him which was incredibly hard. but i deal with it now as my parents are getting a divorce i still dont cut. sometimes i crave it like a drug because for people who do it for reasons it's addicting and i crave it at times but i tell myself i am better than that blade. so let your daughter know she needs to get over herself and stop SCRATCHING her self for attention. i still have HORRIBLE scars i regret every day but i would not take it back for they made me stronger another obstacle to overcome. i just want to add before i submit this that her style now has nothing to do w/ it . i wear black still and that has nothing to do w/ cutting. just majority of the people who wear black sre depressed FOR REASONS they cut. i just have a question besides regular mom and daughter fights does she have anything to cut over? because you seem like a vey loving family for her to cut over that. i hope in some ways i've helped you. ↑|
|Name: Melody | Date: May 9th, 2006 3:27 AM
|I'm 14 And I Cut My Self Whenever I Get Really Depressed But The Only Person Who Ever Seems To Notice Is My Best Friend Damian Sometimes I Think That I Only Do It For Attention You Should Ask Your Daughter Centu Those Reasons ↑|
|Name: can't tell | Date: May 9th, 2006 4:05 AM
|Name: CuisinartBlade | Date: May 10th, 2006 2:51 AM
|there are many websites with help for teens as to how to stop cutting (http://www.vampirefreaks.com has a nice "self help" section where the nice people that frequent the website help others cope with problems) therapy is out of the question. don't bother wasting your time or energy with it. kids are stubborn and will do anything to go against autority. ↑|
|Name: Samantha True | Date: May 12th, 2006 12:20 AM
|well dont pressure her she will tell u why soon . in the mean time just be a good mom and confert her ↑|
|Name: Tyrone | Date: May 12th, 2006 4:00 AM
|Read her stuff from the Bible well God is way cooler than the Devil Take her to church and all that religious stuff Satan is a wirdo and God rules!!!!!!!!! GO GOD!!!!!!!!!!! ↑|
|Name: bigred08 | Date: May 15th, 2006 6:50 PM
|hey how long have you been cutting your self? ↑|
|Name: satan's bitch | Date: May 16th, 2006 11:09 AM
|Hey, im 14 and i have been cutting myself for over 2 years and no one has helped me, i think what your doing for your daughter is great but you have to let it run its course try asking her why she does it but if she dosnt want to tell you dont carry on asking as it could result in more cutting keep her home life calm so she feels its a place to retreat to. Thats all the advice ive got, good luck. ↑|
|Name: mark banzhaf | Date: May 16th, 2006 8:41 PM
|hey my name is mark im 14 and hear that this 13 year old might be scitzafrenic i am heres my email [email protected] i went threw the same thing and i still do but not as muchg but i might be able tohelp her. i know alot about it and im on the verge of being done with it but its cause some times i dont even know what im doing but i can help so give me a shout ↑|
|Name: jordaine | Date: May 22nd, 2006 1:01 PM
|you need help it looks wrong to do that to you !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ↑|
|Name: Katie | Date: May 23rd, 2006 8:21 PM
|Have You Ever Ask Her What's On Her Mind And Is She Upset ABout somethink My 13 Yr Old Daughter Was Cutin Her Self From No Reson She Said She Like It But I research It All Up ANd You Ment To Tlk To Them And Get Them To Tell You What Wrong Unless She's An Emo Or A Ghothic ↑|
|Name: Lynne n | Date: May 23rd, 2006 9:12 PM
|Hi it sounds like your daughter is a very upset and depressed young lady,has anything happened in her childhood to make her do this?|
It must be hard on you seeing your child like this,if you dont get to the bottom of this now whatever is bothering her will effect her whole life.
I have suffered with depression on and off for about 12 years now.
I underwent a cousre of treatment called cogantive behaviorarul therapy and it really worked for me! ↑
|Name: Michele | Date: May 24th, 2006 2:08 AM
|Well, I'm not a mother or anything, I'm still quite young myself (15), but please consider what I say. Comming from someone who had that exact problem & that is only starting to get help for it, please listen.|
You can't just say to yourself that "it's just a phase", by saying that, that's how you "ignore" the problem. When you do that it just gets much worse & some times it's too late once you realise it's not just a phase.
For the cutting thing, you need to sit down with your daughter & tell her that you care about her well being & that you might not fully understand what she's going through but that you are always there if she needs to talk.
She obviously won't suddenly spill her guts & tell you everything, but it's a good first step to make her understand you're there for her.
Next thing you should do, is maybe consider a long term treatment programme, because if untreated this could go on up until she's in the mid-20s. Now, by long term I mean that you should not just get her to go to this "place" if you will, I mean weekly or bi-weekly meatings with a psychologist or nurse specialised in self-harm.
Also, to possibly understand the problem, you can't judge her, you have to just listen to whatever she has to say & be kind of a "friend", if you will.
Also, there is a lot of reasons why a kid would do this to themselves, but if you say she's showing them off at school, it could be because she wants attention. I'm not saying thats the reason, but it could be.
Now, if I didn't help much, I'm sorry
But if you maybe want to ask a little more, you can always email me
[email protected] (I know it's kind of a weird adress, but, well, I'm too lazy to change it)
I hope I helped you ↑
|Name: Annie | Date: May 24th, 2006 6:04 PM
|hey,im 13 aswell and i cut and am anoreixc.i am not old enough to give great advice but i just wanted to give my point of view.i dont cut for attention,i cut to escape from my eating disorder but it seems your daughter wants attention.and not in a horrible way btw.and mabye you have been giving her attention but i have been told a million times that the age of 13 is the worst of your life.and i must say i agree though i dont know yet.mabye if you talked to her about it and dont get cross just simply explain that you love her so much and u cant stand for her to get hurt and make a fuss of her and make sure that she knows its the wrong way to get attention.mabye shes insecure,like me.i hate myself so much thats partly why i do it.i dont do it seriously but it can get worse.because im starting to like seeing the cuts there.they are not there to hurt me,they are there to be noticed.if i wanted to hurt me i would cut somwhere no1 could see.anyway im sorry if i have said anything wrong just trying to give my point of view.good luck ↑|
|Name: Beth | Date: May 28th, 2006 4:38 AM
|I am a cutter myself. I am 13 years old to. I have gone through the same thing that she is going through the only thing is I never show off my scars. The only thing I can say is talk to her. Now I know u probably already have but I mean really talk. If you can't talk to her get a friend of hers to. My best friend found out about me and started to talk to me. Trust me it helps! I have done the same thing she has I started wearing all dark colors I wore only long sleaves. Feel free to e-mail me [email protected] I just want to help. Because right now I need help too I still haven't stoped. I just personally want to talk to somebody about my problem. I really need to talk to someone who has gone through what I am going through right now. ↑|
|Name: liz | Date: Jun 4th, 2006 12:08 PM
|ive been cutting myself since 11 now im 14 im still doing it n my family coudnt care less, im hoping my family one day reailse but dey have but dey dnt realt care 1 of my sis does but now he dont care n im feed up of my family nagging at me all day n night the best thing is to talk to dem tell dem u care for them n u will be there 4 dem [email protected] ↑|