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Name: Mom.23
[ Original Post ]
My daughter is completely and utterly depressed. She's not just in a bad mood, but is consistently down. She never leaves her room, not even to eat. She refuses to go to school. She listens to depressing music, and cries, and sleeps all day. I don't know what to do, I am afraid my daughter will become suicidal, if she hasn't already become so. What can I do?
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Name: k | Date: Jul 13th, 2005 8:13 PM
bring her to a counsler or to her docter... they can prescribe anti depressants.
Also be aware that something might be happening to her....is she being harrassed at school... has she been sexually abused

a good way to let her know that she can talk to you about these things is to say
" honey i want you to know that no matter what happens to you or what you do i will always love you and i wont judge you." 

Name: Melinda | Date: Jul 18th, 2005 5:24 AM
Coming from someone who was a depressed teen themselves (and I still am suffering from depression at 22), some times it is easier to talk to someone who is objective ie: not your parents. Some times it is just too hard to share those types of feelings with someone that close. It is nothing against you though, that is just the way I felt with my mum (but then I was suicidal and self injuring). Maybe find some numbers for counsellors or a good doctor and give them to her, that way she can call if she needs to. Do tell her she can talk to you and that you love her no matter what. Have a look and see if there are any mental health care centres nearby or any numbers she can call if she needs to talk to someone. In my area they have lots of freecall numbers to call if people are feeling depressed or suicidal, but then I live in Australia so I don't know what there would be to offer where you are. I am sorry if I came across harshly.
I hope it all works out. 

Name: Jessica | Date: Jul 21st, 2005 7:52 AM
Don't take her to a counsoler or doctor, that's gay. Honestly, would you talk to someone you didn't know or trust about your issues? I wouldn't, and I never did. I had some serious issues, and I still do. The first people I really felt secure talking to were my friends. I say talk to her friends and try to get them to talk to her about her problems and being suicidal. Because if anyone can really get inside her head it be her friends, not you or a stupid doctor. 

Name: Jean | Date: Aug 1st, 2005 6:35 AM
Coming from a person that has been there, the best thing for you to do would be see if you can get her to a doctor, anti depressants do help, but it takes a good 2 or 3 weeks to kick in, and she should go see a counsler...sometimes theres no explained reason why someones depressed it just could be a cemical imbalance...or it could be something that has happened. let her know your there for her...but maybe she needs someone to talk to thats been in her situation...i know i couldnt talk to my parents when i was...let alone my friends...dont smother her...try to get her help..but dont get pushy it could make things worse...I lost a friend to suicied... 

Name: Natali | Date: Aug 7th, 2005 7:20 PM
i have been there before and no amount of shouting or persuading will make her come round you need to find the root of the problem....and it may well be more than one problem. Get her to talk to someone trusted....not a counsellar because they are patronising and there is no way a girl will want to talk to someone she does not know. It needs patience and perseverance this is not an overnight solution. Try talking to her yourself about what you had to face when you was her age....make sure she is not alone and keep a close eye on any changes in her behaviour as drugs may be involved. Good luck. 

Name: elizabeth | Date: Aug 26th, 2005 7:52 AM
before you take her anywhere to get help talk to her yourself, everything does not require a counselor or medical help just parental attention. Talk to her everyday, listen to her conversation. Try to hear beyond what her "mouth" is saying if you would. Also when did you notice this behavior, maybe something devastating happened to her that you are not aware of, and try to hold in your opinions while talking to her, just hear her out. 

Name: depressed or not? | Date: Sep 30th, 2005 7:17 AM
how can u no when u r depressed?????? 

Name: Pit1 | Date: Oct 6th, 2005 6:53 PM
Mom.23, Take her to a counselor. But be choosey and find a good one. My daughter was diagnoised with GAD (general anxiety disorder) in 4th grade. She cried all the time didn't want to go to school, I had to pry her hands away from the car and carry her in b/c she was so anxious about her grades, people making fun of her, etc.... along with anxiety comes depression, this was not my daughter and I would cry every day wondering what happen to her. She is now seeing a GREAT counselor that she LOVES to talk to and is on Lexapro (this was the 3rd medication we tried) and my daughter is back to her self. Happy and more confident then she use to be. She needs help - get it as soon as possible. Being on medicine is not a bad thing... no matter what Tom Cruze says :) 

Name: Rose-petals | Date: Nov 9th, 2005 6:12 PM
hi evryone i was and am still really depressed but im getting better the way i cope with it is to see a counsellor they reall y do help because you dont know them you can just let all your emotions out and it make you feel sooooo much better! i also read about evrybody elses depression stories it does help how they coped with it and the fact they pulled through it all in the end really inspires you i am getting so much better and i wake up in the morning thinking oh no it s another day why cant i go back to sleep and never wake up i have self harmed aswell but i am telling you from some one who had absolutely nobody to understand them it is great to get a counsellor they help more than people close to you give her space try talking to her if she doesnt want to hear it please oh please take my advice because i know she will pull through it all and she has to know that too. i wish you the very bes Rose xx 

Name: marie | Date: Nov 11th, 2005 5:21 AM
hi im a deprssed teen my self so i know what ur going throw w/ ur daughter anyway just try to talk to her most kids like me just need a friend or just someone to talk to tell her that she can really trust u with anything and dont judge her listen to her no matter what it is thats up setting her just try to help her as much as u can and good luck 

Name: venna | Date: Nov 11th, 2005 7:57 AM
hi marie as u r a teen i really need someone to trust in to tell her about my problem 

Name: venna | Date: Nov 11th, 2005 8:00 AM
if it is ok marie i will wait for ur answer as i am a really depressed teen 

Name: megan,14 | Date: Nov 13th, 2005 8:33 PM
hey, is there anyone out there who is my age (or not) experincing a divorce in any way? my dad is on his 3rd divorce. i don't know my mom or my little sister or my 2 little brothers. i really need some help. 

Name: kati | Date: Nov 13th, 2005 9:09 PM
i am no professional, but i think you should not let her sit around and wallow in her sadness. it will not get better that way. take her out, do something fun. if that does not work at all, talk to her let her know that you love her and will always be there for her. tell her you will listen and try to understand to the best of your abilities everthing she is going through. i know i would love to hear that from my parents. if you kept a diary when you were a child let her read that, show her that you were her age once too and that you went throught similar things if not the same things she is going throught at her age. but please, what ever you do don't let her stay the way she is. there is so much more to life than depression. 

Name: Lizzy,21 | Date: Nov 15th, 2005 3:41 PM
Well have you tried talking to her? try that and if that don't help then take away her music that's the second step, and if that don't help I would recremend going and seeing a proffesional person because something big might have happened to her 

Name: Julia | Date: Nov 17th, 2005 5:39 AM
I am a teen myself and am depressed so all you moms i know you care about your kids and if something is wrong you think that the first thing to do is punish. Thats not how it goes, music doesnt make you depressed and in some cases it actually helps to listen to music. The best thing i think you should do is talk to her if that doesnt work, let her come to you. She probably would confide in a friend more than you, sorry to say that but its true. But it does really help when the whole family cares too, i actually went and talked to my mom about things after talking to my older brother so maybe if she has siblings. Just let her know how much you love her and that anything can be fixed, you just need time. Hope some of this helps, just remember and dont make her even more upset by taking things away or using punishment believe me it only makes things worse, i know you may think you're helping but you arent. 

Name: myownsuicide | Date: Nov 28th, 2005 6:40 AM
do not give her anti-depressents plz they dont work they make it worse cuz im on meds.tallk to her but keep ur space.find out wats bothering her.im 15teen years old and i go to a counseler and hes good(better then the others)his name is docter argon
i go once a week.i was hospitalized for suicide and im depressed and suicidial right now.but have her talk to someone her own age that has gone though or is having the same problems.

i have some numbers she can call if she wants to die or just to talk.i call these numbers when i want to kill myself or cut and somtimes u just need to talk to somone.i live in california so heres some numbers.

1-800-suicide(i call this one its realy good)


so dont freak out on her but help her also give her some space dont give her pills but get her some indepentant counsoling and familly counseling. 

Name: carol | Date: Nov 28th, 2005 9:50 AM
i dontknow what to do can u help plz 

Name: Lana | Date: Dec 1st, 2005 1:35 AM
My daughter is depressed about me smoking. She is real sensitive about things. She thinks that no one notices her and no one listens anymore. I know we all went through that stage! LOL 

Name: camy | Date: Dec 1st, 2005 3:31 AM
you need to come around little by little remmeber she is depress.you will have to be very careful as to what words you going to use.try by telling her positive things about what she likes to do even inwardly you dont agree with it. 

Name: Paeshence5 | Date: Dec 4th, 2005 6:25 PM
If she really has depression she needs to see a therapist so that they can give her the medication and advice she needs i've been through this stage before and the reason i'm up here is because my moms is going through the same thing if you don't get your young one help now it will honestly get worse and in some cases worse only means death 

Name: Missy Johnston | Date: Dec 7th, 2005 11:12 PM
Dont listen to that idiot^


I was the same way at 16, My mom REFUSED to let me take pills, I ended up trying to kill myself twice. Im over it now but I have scarred wrists now because of it. DONT WAIT ANY LONGER, GET HER HELP! 

Name: alex | Date: Dec 9th, 2005 2:48 AM
look talk to her im 16 maybe her boyfriend left her or something make her get into sports or something that night help!!!! 

Name: lauren | Date: Dec 9th, 2005 9:40 PM
im only 14 and i get depressed but i think you shoukd try talking to her and see whats going through her mind. she could be getting bullied or something like that just find out what it is if you can. if she feels she cant talk to you then you should get a counsler involved. i cant talk to my parents because i dont feel comfortable even though i know they're there for me. your daughter might open up to a counsler. just make sure she know's your there for her. take care x x 

Name: Hayley | Date: Dec 16th, 2005 11:47 AM
Try talking to her and letting her know that you care. DO NOT BUY HER A RAZOR FOR CHRISTMAS. Sometimes, knowing that someone is there for you can make all the difference. 

Name: Ms.Pooh | Date: Dec 17th, 2005 12:49 AM
yeah i think this is a nice thing to do 

Name: Derpessed..... | Date: Dec 17th, 2005 1:53 AM
im have deopression ive had it since early 2004 when my father passed away. im on anti depressants and they have been good for me but then my doctor changed them and i tried to kill myself by overdosing on some drugs. but i was hospitalised for 4 weeks and changed back onto my normal meds. so if you get her put on anti depressants dont let your doc change them! 

Name: Clo | Date: Dec 18th, 2005 7:58 AM
I am in the same position as your daughter. I think that what you need to do is get to the root of her problem. Do not force it out but ask her what is really, truly bothering her. When she tells you, DO NOT make it seem like a petty problem. What hurts to her is what hurts, it doesn't matter what it is because it is bothering her. Just give her as much care and sympathy as she needs and that is really all you can do. 

Name: lisa | Date: Dec 18th, 2005 11:43 PM
set out a time to talk to her.try to discuss what is going on and see if you can help. i know that might be hard because i've been through the same thing with my daughter. she didn't even want to talk and she would just scream at me. so take her to a counsler asap because it will help alot and she will thank you eventually and you will thank yourself for going..hope i helped :-D feel better!! 

Name: babara | Date: Dec 19th, 2005 5:20 PM
i am an 18 year old going thru the same thing. After recovering from severe anorexia I have become a recluse. I dropped out of college, and so far have not left the house for two weeks, I have trouble eating and sleeping and cry too. Your daughter needs your love right now. Anything can trigger depression- try and find out what it is. Tell her there is help and medication to treat it. I know how she feels. She feels as if there is no reason to live yet she doesn't know why she feels that way. She is scared and lonely like me. I am getting help- that is the next step. Good luck to you and your daughter will be in my prayers. 

Name: maisha | Date: Dec 20th, 2005 7:26 PM
i fink u should tr and understand wot she is going thro in her life then u chat to her! 

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