Hello, guest
|
Name: Sue121
[ Original Post ]
Hi! My name is Sue, and my husband and I are raising a beautiful 16 year old daughter. For the most part she is a good kid. Gets good grades and has seems to have a good head on her shoulders for the most part. Like most teens her age she can be a little self centered, and shes tends to let her peers influence her too much.

Disipline has never been much of an issue because she was always such a good kid. I have always felt like my husband was always kind of soft on her, and she has him wrapped around her little finger! So it usually falls on me to do the diciplining. When she was growing up I used to threaten her with spankings, but never had to carry it out. She heard enough stories from my childhood to know what I meant when I asked if she wanted me to get my hairbrush. I haven't even threaten that in years though because she is too old for that. She has NEVER been grounded if you can believe that. She actually has hardly been punished at all since she was a teen.

So anyway, I got and interesting call from the school today. My daughter and her friend got casught on school grounds smoking in her friends car. I had to leave work to go pick her up, and I let me tell you I was NOT HAPPY. Smoking is something she knows is unacceptable in our household and we have discussed it with her many times. When I got to her school we had a meeting with the liansion officer and she got a 3 day suspension from school. On the drive home we sat in silence for awhile. She broke the silence first by saying she couldn't believe that suspeneded her for 3 days just for smoking. Her non-chalant attitude about the whole thing made me snap! I screamed at her the rest of the way home! I told her how smoking was a big deal to me and that she was in big trouble at home too. She just stopped talking and crossed her arms sulking like.

When we got home I sent her to her room, so I could calm down. I had to get back to work soon after, so I after a few minutes I went into her room to talk to her. She was on her computer chatting to someone! I turned off the computer monitor and told her shes grounded from her computer and the phone. She got mad and said her friends are going to have to email her homework to her. That was true, also grounding her would be diffiuclt to do since my husband andI work all day, and she has the next three days off school! She told me she wanted a different punishment. I didn't want to let her pick a punishment, so I still insisted that she was grounded from her computer and phone, and that her father and I would help her get the homework. Just as an empty threat I told her shes lucky that I didn't put her over my knee. Then she said she didn't want to be talked to forever or be grounded, and that I maybe I should just spank her! I got really mad again and wound up saying fine, the time for talk was done, maybe she could bennefit from a spanking. I had to get back to work and would punish her when I got home, and she shouted FINE as I left.

So, here I am sitting at work wondering what to do. Any advice would be helpful. I kind of prosmised to spank her, but I don't really want to. I have never given a spanking before. Should I spank her? I know a lot of people are going to say she is too old, or that I shouldn't let her get off easy by getting the punishment she wants. However when I was a teen once I begged my mother to spank me instead of not letting me go to a dance, and I regretted it as soon as the back of her brush struck my bottom once. If I do spank her, I want to make it a good one, since she is too old and I never want to have to do it again. She might think she wants to be spanked now, but if I spank her I bet she nevers wants to be spanked again. Please any advice will be appreciated!
Your Name


captcha

Your Reply here


 
Name: Zebra111 | Date: Aug 21st, 2009 5:07 AM
My little girl is a good girl, great grades, polite to everyone. Remamber this is the age people are dreading. do some reserch. Your little girl is at a New stage and I'm sure your an excellent mom. This new stage is like a new person. Old punishments she already knows. Its easy to be caught up in the emotion but then youre child will lern to push your buttons. so take a deep breath wait till you can be calm. she will listen but she will not show it. Show her love. this is the part of parenting that can be truely rewading. 

Name: LuckyMommy | Date: Aug 21st, 2009 11:09 PM
No- No- No
You aren't going to spank your duaghter. I was the good girl that did bad things to get attention!! Mostly from my parents. You need to not worry about how your going to punish your daughter and worry more about why your daughter chose to smoke in the first place. You need to calm yourself... Breath.... Now, put yourself in your daughters shoes! She's the pretty, innocent, smart girl.... She's in high school and wants more than anything to just fit in with the crowd. (Remember things can always be worse). Your daughter's probably not going to want to talk to you, infact she's probably going to want you to get angry and yell at her. However, I've been in your daughter's shoes and you just need to talk to her! You need to go home, walk up to your daughter and give her a "real" hug. Sit down on her bed or close to her (come down to her level). Look her in the eyes and say lets talk. You have a chance to chage things around or make them worse. Fix things while you still can. You may hear things that are going to make you scream inside, but remain calm. That's the best advice that I can give to you is to talk to your daughter, calmly.. Also, let her talk! Don't interupt her- let her get out all of her feelings, all that she has to say. As far as punishing your daughter goes. Taking away her phone and computer are good punishments. If this is the first time that she's really gotten into trouble, then take just those things away, she'll learn from her mistakes. And, you need to take them away for a good amount of time. My parents would take them away for a week or more. It would drive me absolutely nuts. Good Luck, punishing your kids is never fun, but you are the parent! You need to be in control. 

Name: Andckids | Date: Mar 2nd, 2010 3:55 AM
well, I can tell you what my mom did to me when I snuck a ciggarette out of her pack - she bought a huge Havana cigar and made me sit and smoke the entire thing until I turned green and puked. I still don't smoke to this day years later- 

Name: Jake0690 | Date: Mar 19th, 2010 4:00 AM
I do not know what you should do... She is your daughter and I think you know what would be the most effective... I have to say that all teens are different and react different things.....
What did you end up doing? Did it end up working? in other words no more smoking ? 

Copyright 2024© babycrowd.com. All rights reserved.
Contact Us | About Us | Browse Journals | Forums | Advertise With Us