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Name: diwags
[ Original Post ]
Hi, to get straight to the point. I asked son (14) to do the dishes, he said please be quiet i'm watching my show. I said I won't be quiet as I wanted to know when he was going to do them, he said I'm trying to watch my show, I don't interupt you when your watching t.v (he does). I began to ask him again and he said I asked you nicely before, now i'm not going to be nice so shut up mum and leave me alone, I will do the dishes, but when i'm ready to do them. I said he wasn't to speak to me that way and I wanted the dishes done. Well, he had just come to me and said he had done the dishes (hour and a half later) and what was wrong with him doing them when he was ready. Am I upset for all the wrong reasons, should I just let the dishes sit around till late at night, when he's ready. Could someone please advise on what they think.
Regards Di
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Name: TBird23 | Date: Sep 23rd, 2009 10:59 PM
You are not wrong. He is the one who is wrong. You need to nip this in the bud before things get worse. Set up some consequences to this behavior and follow through. For example: No television when he doesn't do what he is told, the first time. Come up with a list of chores for him and the consequences of not doing them within a certain amount of time. You might say you have until 5:00 to do the dishes or you loose your cell phone for 2 days. Today it is the dishes, tomorrow it could be something much more substantial. 

Name: MamaGay | Date: Dec 22nd, 2009 9:46 PM
I find it's better to set up a system, so there's not such a power struggle. The system gets announced once (as in, it's your job to do the dishes every night; I'm not going to remind you; it's your responsibilty to remember; they have to be done by 8 pm); consequences for non-compliance are also named (if they're not done, no TV next day or whatever). Case closed.

BTW--check out Momster.com for more moms-of-teens talk. :-) 

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