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Name: tobysdawn
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MY HUSBAND AND I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 2 YEARS NOW AND HAVE A TOTAL OF 8 CHIDREN. 5 OF WHOM LIVE WITH US (WELL 4 NOW I JUST SENT MY 14 YEAR OLD TO STAY WITH HIS DAD). MY PROBLEM IS THIS WHAT DO U DO WITH TEENAGERS WHO JUST WON'T LISTEN WHEN U ARE IN A BLENDED FAMILY SITUATION.OUR CHILDREN ARE RUNNING OUR LIVES. WE SPEND SO MUCH TIME DEALING WITH THE TEENAGERS THAT WE RARELY HAVE TIME FOR OURSELVES OR THE YOUNGER CHILDREN. HERE ARE SOME RECENT EXAMPLES...MY 16 YEAR OLD WHO JUST GOT HIS LICENSE AND IS ON RESTICTION FOR HAVING A PARTY AT HIS GRANDMOTHER'S RESTURANT IN WHICH THEY GOT DRUNK AND SPENT THE NIGHT SOMEWHERE OTHER THAN WHERE THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO BE (HIM AND MY 15 YEAR OLD STEP DAUGHTER) HAS NOW GOTTEN 2 SEAT BEALT TICKETS AND SPEEDING TICKET AND JUST ON THE WAY TO HIS FATHER'S GOT A WARNING TICKET (GOT A WARNING ONLY BECAUSE THE COP NEW MY HUSBAND). NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT WE FOUND OUT HE GOT A CELL PHONE FROM A FREIND AND WAS USING IT THE WHOLE TIME HE WAS ON RESTRICTION. MY STEP DAUGHTER IS RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF ALL OF THIS. WE JUST FOUND OUT THAT LAST WEEKEND WHILE STAYING WITH A FRIEND (OF WHOM I SPOKE TO THE MOTHER WHO ASSURED ME THAT THEY WERE CHRISTIANS AND DIDN'T EVEN LET THEIR DAUGHTER DATE, AND FAILED TO MENTION THAT HER 16 YEAR OLD SON AND HIS FREINDS WOULD BE THERE) GOT DRUNK AND PARTIED ALL WEEKEND. WE HAVE CLEARLY DEFINED RULES IN OUR HOME. WE HAVE IMPLEMENTED A CHORE BOARD AND A RULE AND CONSEQUENCE BOARD THAT IS HUNG UP IN OUR DINING ROOM SO THAT IT IS NOT SAID THAT WE ARE NOT TREATING THE CHILREN FAIRLY., THAT WAS ONE OF OUR BIGGEST PROBLEMS...HIS CHILDREN BALMED ME AND MINE BLAMED MY HUSBAND WHEN THAY GOT IN TROUBLE AND TRIED TO PLAY THE"U TREAT YOURS DIFFERENT CARD" I COULD GO ON AND ON.WE HAVE VERY LITTLE SUPPORT FROM THE CHILDREN'S OTHER PARENTS..SO THE KIDS TRY TO PLAY US AGAINST EACH OTHER (I'LL GO TO MY MOM/ DAD'S) THEY DON'T TREAT US THIS WAY. WELL THEY ONLY HAVE THAM EVERY OTHER WEEKEND IF THAT SO THAY DON'T HAVE TO ENFORCE RULES. IF ANYONE HAS ANY ADVICE I'D BE WILLING TO TRY ANYTHING. PLEASE HELP. PS WE'VE TRIED COUNSELING.....
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Name: debrajburns | Date: Nov 11th, 2007 10:26 AM
We have had the same problems...seriously! we have been married 4 years. he had 3 kids ages now are 15, 16 and 17. my 2 kids are 19 and 22. everything you said is exact with us. but let me tell you. counseling and prayer for 3 years have done not one bit of good. we all seem to hate each other and nothing is better. it only got worse. we have all the same rules.....we are christian and the kids have chosen witchcraft, bisexuality. I have been so ran down emotionally that i have went from a career job to unemployed and on meds to try and stop having panic attacks. The only answer in my opinion is to send the kids to their biological parent.....they r not happy otherwise and they will continue to rebel. They all know the ball is in theri courts and they will just keep hitting you and your marriage in the head with it until they have destroyed you. you can love them but u dont have to let them destroy you.... 

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