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I am a first time chatter. Just need to share to maybe feel better. My son has been going out with a girl for 3 yrs, she just moved in with us a week ago and she lived thousand miles away. They have been visiting each other for the past three years. She gets here and lets just say it has been a nightmare. He decides after she has uprooted her whole life that he doesnt want her here. I am devastated as she is. Her mother has already given her furniture away, moved her(moms) boyfriend and his kids into her room and told her that she basically will have to live with her grandpa or dad, but if she wants to come home she would have to share a bed with her sister. Crappy mom is what i say to that. I told girlfriend that she should come first and not her moms boyfriend. I am so dissapointed with my son. He told her it was okay to come up here so they could try to see if things would work out between them. Apparently they were having problems before she came. they had actually broken up and I didnt know. If I would have I would not have allowed her to come. Needless to say it gets worse. My sone has been talking to another woman that is 9 years his senior, has 2 kids and lives even farther away than his current, well now, ex girlfriend. This is the problem. The whole time, now 1 week, girlfriend has been here he has been talking to this woman in front of her and of course they argue and fight. My husband and I have had a alot of discssion with the two of them about their relationship and how son should have not been talking to woman this whole time and really should have been trying to see if they could work things out. So now, after they have finally talked with each other, this morning once again girlfriend is downstairs with me crying and devastated, she has to go home because son does not love her like he used to. Now she has had her stuff mailed up here and what little money she has will be used to buy a ticket back home, which she doesnt have a place of her own. Then we are trying to figure out the best day to take her to the airport and the least expensive way because we are going to pay for part of the ticket back and to mail her stuff back, we figure out in a week because that is when her family can pick her up from the airport, crappy family again. My son comes downstairs and girlfriend tells him that she will be leaving in a week, he makes a face, i ask him to sit with me to discuss the reason. He comes in sits by girlfriend, looks at airport schedule and decides she should stay for two weeks!!!!! I wanted her to go back by wednesday so we can all move on and she needs her mom and sister to help her through this mess and i need her to go back because my heart is broken over all of this and i cant stand to see her hurting. I love her like she is one of mine and this is killing me. I cant sleep, I am so angry with my son for doing this. I told him that this has made me question me as a parent because I did not raise him to do something like this, especially to be so disrespectful to girlfriend after all she has done for him. He should have never been talkng to woman in front of her. He should have never agreed to have her come up here with false hope and completely uproot her life. Girlfriend said that she thought things were going to work out and this is why she went ahead and had her stuff mailed up here. False hope was given to her. Now son says he loves her but not like he did. He sits by her on the couch, touches her face, asked her to stay for 2 weeks, i told them only if they are going to try to make it work. so now they are waitig a couple of days to decide on this for sure and before the ticket is purchased, which i agree with. But everytime girlfriend sees me, she cries. I dont know what to do. I am hurting so bad for me and her. I cannot get over her mother immediately getting rid of her own daughters furniture and giving her room away and then not giving it back to her when she needs it!! what is wrong with parents today. If it were me, I would have had her back on the plane today and counting the minutes down to seeing her to help her through this very painful time in her life. I have been supporting her and my son is angry with me for this. I told both of them that I am not taking sides, I will support my son and his decision but I do not have to agree with his decision nor his behavior. I have told them both where they have gone wrong with the relationship and what it takes to make one work and what they would need to do to try and make this one work. My husbanfd and I have also told them that no body is perfect and when you love somebody you have to accept their flaws, yes some flaws are really bad and must be worked on but not to expect someone to be perfect. also long distance relationships normally dont work out but this was had for 3 years!!! i dont know if my son is afraid of the commnittment that the relationship is at now due to her moving in with us. He said she hits him, No marks or bruises. i asked her about it and she said she did when they were aruging that she shoved him and grabbed his shirt because she wanted to talk and he was walking out again. She pulled his gotte, dont know how to spell it. anyway he was on the phone with the woman in front of girlfriend and he called woman babe and so she pulled his beard. I would have too but I would not hae too is what i said to them. girlfriend deserves respect and he is not giving it to her.Son has been talking to both of them for a while, two timing and that is so wrong. i am going through alot in my life right now. I just started a job that is really stressful, getting paid alot less, not even enough money to cover all of my bills, my oldest daughter is getting married next month, had about 2 mos to plan a wedding and have been unemployed since feb. my husband just finished college and is trying to find a job since may, nothing yet on him. at least he is getting unemployment and we have a some savings that is really going down due to wedding, but i have been the planner and have cut costs way down, just a lot to do on top of everything going on. My youngest is at her second camp and i really miss her. So, my life, at this time, feels like a really big mess: planning a wedding, not making enough money to pay bills so have pull from savings, husband unemployed, youngest at camp, son has destroyed girlfriends life for a while, and me his mom is not handling this at all oh and heres one more things, daughter is pregnant, baby has about 50% chance to make it, not good odds and this would be her second miscarriage, and oh i forgot to mention that daughter is not working and nor is her fiance, fiance mom doesnt work, lives with her ex, so when daughter gets married, she has to live two hours away with fiances mom while she finds a job and hopefully still pregnant, while fiance drives one hour one way to go to college and the work after college is over, this will last for 6 mos for the program he is in. we have had to pay her car insurance and will have to cover car payment because she bought a car while she was working. I pray as often as i can, i am taking on line summer class that is over in less than 2 weeks so i have been really busy with that too. i was walkng and lossing weight and feeling better about myself, well all of tht has stopped, i am so tired all of the time now. i cant sleep, so not to wake my husband with my getting up, i have been sleeping on the couch.. any advice? ↓
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