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Name: scoyoc5
[ Original Post ]
Need advice, I have a 17 year old son whom I kicked out of the house 4 days ago because of skipping school, lieing about where he's been, where he's going, and I believe is doing drugs and drinking alcohol. He swears to me that he isn't doing drugs and acts so totally shocked that I would even accuse him of this. I then get pissed because I feel so sure that he is doing drugs. He has had text messages on his phone that talk about being "so high" that he can't think straight. Other messages that say, "hurry and get here, I'm about to light a bowl." I'm not an idiot. I know these are sure signs that he is or has done drugs. And then I'm even more mad when I confront him on it, especially when I think he is amped out, and he gets mad at me for accussing him.
Right now I am so mad from just talking about it. He doesn't really have any where to go. Right now he is at friends house. As far as I'm concerned at this point , none of his friends are worth a shit. I used to like all of his friends. They have always been welcome at our house. Now I don't trust any of them. Tonight he is mostly mad at me because he IM'd me and asked for his debit card back so that he could get some of his money from the bank. I don't know what to do. It is his money, but the account has my name on it and I can't take the chance of him overdrawing the account. I also don't want him to have any money in case he is planning to buy drugs or alcohol with it. He says that he needs money to eat but anymore I don't know what to believe.
I need some advice. Part of me says what kind of mother would kick there own son out of the house into the cold? The other side of me says that I can't allow him to live here when we have set the rules and he refuses to live by them.
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Name: scoyoc5 | Date: Dec 2nd, 2006 5:45 AM
well no one out there wanting to touch this one or what?? 

Name: Lizzi | Date: Dec 2nd, 2006 6:24 PM
For starters you need to get his ass back home! Then you need to step up to the plate and take everything he loves away including his little text messenger. You need to bare down on him like nothing else! Keep him away from everyone and start calling around to rehab centers and get him into one ASAP! By kicking him out that says you give up! That's an easy way out and it doesn't work that way. If you are not ready to let him come back home to live then you tell him he can come home for supper and therefore needs no money to eat or you can withdraw $10 yourself and give it to him every couple of days,this way he has no access to the account on his own. But you can certainly bet everything you do give him will go on drugs so in other words you would be helping him get high. Get him home and then into an in -patient rehab. He is 17 and you are still responsible for him,do the right thing. After rehab make him go to meetings as often as possible. Re-hab will either help him quit or he will continue drugging after if he really doesn't care. Once he turns 18 and if he still chooses to drink and drug then,then you may kick him out. If it resorts to this point then you give him ALL of his money and let him go. Only accept him back in your life when he hits bottom and comes to you for sincere help. You will know when that day comes. 

Name: CutsBruises | Date: Dec 2nd, 2006 6:59 PM
Ok well its not a smart idea working yourself up, going through his phone a big no no if you went through my phone id freak. Now heres another thing, when you ask him make him feel guilty you hug him and tell him your glad hes honest and stuff. 

Name: Lizzi | Date: Dec 2nd, 2006 7:29 PM
bump 

Name: ..RoSey.. | Date: Jan 11th, 2009 9:39 AM
do you really think kicking your son out is going to solve the problem... you cant just have kids and then decide when things get too hard that ur going to kick them out !! if anything you are making the situation worse. 

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